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KeilMember Since 15 Apr 2011
Offline Last Active Private
Hey you. The one looking at my profile. Strike a conversation with me. Don't know how to? Ask a question. Do it. There must be a reason why you went to my profile in the first place. Might as well make the most of it. Conversations with people you never talk to on a regular basis enrich your life and even if it causes you pain and suffering, it'll be better than living your sad, sad life the same exact way as the day before and expecting something great out of it. That reminds me of a great quote I live by. It goes: "Fuck your indecision and fear. Just PM me." I wrote that quote. Go ahead.
Shoot me a PM.
please. im lonely
- Group Retired Member
- Active Posts 6,343
- Profile Views 27,713
- Member Title Above Average Mediocrity
- Age 50 years old
- Birthday January 9, 1967
Topics I've Started
06 May 2017 - 09:45 PM
22 April 2017 - 10:59 PM
A Neopets-Related Puzzle That Will Make You Rage Quit
Hi. My name is Keil and I enjoy seeing people squirm. It has been a while. I've came across some shocking news and decided to put my personal BD set on the line for this puzzle. It's a simple crossword puzzle and the theme is Neopets. It should be easy. You know, that easy. Like that time you were stressing to the point of panic over something that you were able to accomplish in 5 minutes and afterwards, found yourself foolish for worrying about it to the extent that you did. Sometimes it's easier just to do shit than putting it on hold. Like today. It was like any other day, except it was raining and my friend was panicking after finding out his tests for syphilis were positive. I didn't care for the friend so I decided to spend my Saturday doing whatever I want. Instead of recklessly doing whatever, I had to check emails if anything had to be done before Monday steamrolls me because I am a semi-responsible and semi-functional adult-child. In a school email, a professor requests to speak to me on the phone immediately on a Saturday morning and even gives me their personal cell phone number. The email made it seem very urgent and I was honestly scared. This was the professor whose class I slacked in because at this point in my academic career, I was like "it's whateva, Jesus take the wheel of the steamboat floating down the lazy river." But then again, anxiety into clawed my chest like a bitch. The professor doesn't have any grounds to fail me, right? I was laughing without a care in the world until I remembered. Fuck. There was that time I whistle blown. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. My life is ruined. There's no turning back from this. Like, I wasted a hundred thousand dollars on this shit. Damn. Motherfuck (thanks @Coops for making me say motherfuck in real life for a year now). I contemplated snorting a line, but then I was like: fuck it all. It doesn't matter if I blow this off because the result will be the same in the end. So I picked up my cell and called my professor. She borderline screamed into the phone when asking who called her. When I said it was me, her voice softened and asked me what to order for the department party from a local bakery. Turns out, it was her carelessness that she didn't order food from campus dining early enough to make an order. The only reason why she emailed me was because she remembered that one time I bought donuts and muffins from that bakery and everyone loved it. The only reason why she didn't ask for all of this in the email is because she is old and hates email. Plus it's easier to get all this information through phone than multiple email correspondences. So I told everything I knew about the bakery and what to get to her and she hung up without saying goodbye. She's like that. I want to say she is autistic, but it would make more sense to say that she is a jerk. Especially for unknowingly putting me through all this stress for nothing. At this point, I read through the rest of my unread emails and it's all just school wide emails about upcoming events and a blood drive. Knowing full well that I have nothing to worry about for the rest of the weekend, I relaxed the way the world cursed me with: play neopets. I checked the Festival of Neggs page and it said, "Throw in a few coins into the water and you may just get what you wish for." And there I was: What the motherfuck? (fuck you, Coops). Click. Click. Click. And there it was: at the Wishing Well. That was easy. It was that easy.
Here's a puzzle.
1. None of the images are stretched, screwed, inverted, rotated, flipped, tinted, or opaqued from their original source. They are all screenshots I took with the gyazo app and uploaded to imgur. If the size of the image is different from usual, it may be just a difference of resolution or zoom of the computer to which I have no clue how to fix.
2. Refer to the pages they are found on as the answers to be inputted.
3. Browse Neopets in English to find some of the answers, just in case it wasn't already clear in some of the clues.
1. PM me your answers in the form of listing all 13 answers or providing an image with all the boxes filled in correctly.
2. You must be the first person to have 13 clues answered correctly to win in a manner listed above.
3. You can discuss answers here or anywhere. I don't care.
4. The deadline for this puzzle is April 30, 2017 11:59 PM NST.
5. If by any chance (which I doubt) that someone 100% solves this puzzle before then, I'll update this thread and make some cheap congratulations note.
6. I will not post the answers, regardless if someone solves this puzzle or not.
Mysterious BD Set Worth at least 100m NP*
*Contains 2 Constant Weapons, 2 Shields, a 100% Freezer, a 100% Damage Blocker, a Full Healer, and a Bomb.
Exact battle set is hidden to protect winner.
16 April 2017 - 08:01 PM
I am curious.
How do you relax without drugs and electronics? When I say no drugs, I mean you can't use the things you find in a drug store like pills and syrups, but you can still get the pharmacological effects from the natural sources of those drugs. For example: using certain willow bark to experience the effects of aspirin. When I say no electronics, I mean the electronics cannot be the source of your enjoyment and pleasure. For example, you can use a table lamp to read a hard copy book, but you cannot use a tablet, phone, or computer to read an electronic copy of that book or watch videos.
So, how do you do it?
20 March 2017 - 12:41 PM
I'm just curious.
If you weren't years into investing in a certain lifestyle (like motherhood, military, secret agent, etc.) or profession either by being in school for it or practicing, what other life path would you be pursuing at the moment?
I ask this because I've reached a point where I've done so much already and wonder about the what-if's in my life. Not that I regret where I am right now, but it may be cathartic to fantasize a different life that would have been.
If I wasn't already in the thing I was already doing, I would have been a writer for television. I idolize and fear Tina Fey and her comedic genius (and to a smaller extend, Amy Poehler) and wondered how fun it would be to be a writer in that industry in terms of being gratified and proud that what you have created has an audience and makes other people's lives better. Not to mention the different life I would be living like living from paycheck to paycheck while struggling to find the next gig. I understand that that vision is a big leap from where I am right now, but if I spent all my time building that dream, I may have ended up somewhere higher and in a place where I would have never dreamed of. I started thinking about this because my colleague forwarded me information about the Sesame Street Writer's Room fellowship and although it doesn't fit my schedule, I can't help but think: what if?
What would you be now if you didn't already choose your life's path?
14 March 2017 - 07:22 AM
I'm snowed in. I have no work to do. I'm playing Pokemon Yellow on the 3DS while listening to some podcasts. Let's do this.
In celebration of Pi Day, I am handing out slices of Humble Pie. What is a Humble Pie, you ask? Take a hint. You can figure out that much out, right? My God, this is why I hate people--you're all so needy and have to have everything handed to you without any hard work on your part. Ugh. If I must, they're like my past unfortunes where I
assume your gender bring to light one or more of things that you may or may not need to consider to work on for the sake of self-betterment and to help you on your path to self-actualization in a tactful and supportive manner. It comes from a place of love and has zero calories.
I'll also tell you what your type of pie is. Isn't that spiffy? Here is a nearly blank template of what is to be expected:
- I'll post the slices of humble pie in this thread. I forgot to mention. They're free like shame and humiliation.
- These slices are 100% true unless when they are not true but not when they are not unerringly true.
- I try to be a humble baker, but it is very hard to deny that I am actually psychic and shit. Like you don't even know. But since I'm a nice person, I'll avoid specific nouns are to avoid any clues leading your real life identity. You are so lucky I am such a nice person.
- I just came back from the grocery store and bought a fresh selection of the most racist, sexist, genderist, sexualist, ageist, etcetera, etcertera ingredients ready to be shoved down into your throat. I don't care about your allergies.
- Each slice is at least 50 words because having anything less will--on one hand, will relieve you of any strain from reading anything above your academic capabilities, but on the other hand, um... some of you need a larger hint than others and I don't want to deny you this learning experience.
- Yeah, I lied about the personalized slice deal. I don’t really give a fuck about you to actually delve into your life and make a proper assessment. I wouldn't waste my psychic powers on you. You know what? I'll stop the nice act and just be blunt from now on. Instead, I’ll just be throwing out a slice that will maybe hit the right mark because you are all such basic bitches and you don't need to have ESPN to know what's wrong with you. I know your type. You go on tumblr to see a post showing what a certain zodiac would do in a situation and be like “OHEMGEE, THAT IS ME” even though the post clearly says “You are fully aware of themselves and are living their fullest potential” for that specific sign. People like you are worse than barbed wire shoehorns.
- Give me time to give you your slice. An exact estimate is: whenever I feel like it. I go by a strict process when delivering slices. First I heavily cringe at the people who actually want slices. Like what’s your deal? Do you not have enough self-worth to know that you are worthy of love and the presence of the people around you that you hold dear and everything that you have always wanted cannot be bought or won through the same methods that historically always leave you miserable? Laughable. Secondly, I begrudgingly rush at the last second to push these out. It takes a certain level of expertise and finesse to do these.
- I like money. Not the currency or concept of money, but the power I have with money. With that in mind, give me money for no other reason but to partake in the act of giving specifically to me, money.
- You can ask for as many slices as you want, but that begs the question: are you a masochist for public humiliation? You should be an American politician.
- There are other rules and shit you should know, but why does it matter?
- I can elaborate on my slices. Believe me, I can, but the question is if I'm willing to. I prefer to associate with you as least as possible. But money, oh boy, I can spend eternity with it. Catch my drift? No? I guess not. I shouldn't expect too much out of anyone.
- TO ENTER:
Copy and past the thingy in the boxy thingy below into your post and post that post, postingly.Figure out how to turn the following url into an image and post it. I thought the last method works, but it doesn't. I didn't think the world would disappointment me anymore than it could. And no, I didn't copy this list of rules from the unfortunates page, completely.