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Coops

Member Since 03 Feb 2012
Offline Last Active Yesterday, 11:53 AM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: September Private Applications Open

14 September 2018 - 12:03 PM

Apply guys! 


In Topic: Tell me something bad that happened to you today.

12 August 2018 - 09:11 AM

My doctor was supposed to get back to me about stopping the new med he put me on because it's fucking me up and he still hasn't gotten back to me. :| 


In Topic: Would you have a kid with your friend?

10 August 2018 - 04:54 PM

I actually totally agree - different people bring different things to the table. Where one parental figure might fall short, another can step in and offer what is lacking. I also had a pretty ‘nuclear’ as you like to say childhood .. maybe that just makes us more open minded.

My friend has had people tell her that the child will be confused by being raised by a group of people, rather than just two .. I think that’s why she’s hesitating.

Yeah! That's why I think it could be functionally superior to the traditional two parent type household. I think more perspectives in how to handle situations are better that's why I generally ask my friends for help when I'm faced with difficult situations. And I don't think child-rearing should be any different. I mean we already do it right? We ask more knowledgeable parents (we as in humans) when our kids are sick, when our kids are doing bad things, etc. This is just making that assistance more immediate and involves people loving our kids. Also, pooling social/economic resources will mean kids are better provided for.

I think it can be confusing for sure, but so can two parent households, and that shit generally comes from poor communication. So as long as she's a solid communicator, I'm sure it'll be okay, however it works out. I don't blame her for hesitating honestly. I mean - people are judgy and shitty and she will probably get flack for it if she makes the plunge.

But yeah I think you're right. Our unique situations growing up probably impacted our ability to accept a different type of family dynamic. All I can say is if I ever have a kid, I sure as shit do not want my family dynamic to be remotely similar to what I had growing up. I was abused, neglected and my parents were so dysfunctional. I have minimal contact with my mom now, I can never go home, and I disowned my dad. When I did that, nearly all my extended family disowned me, despite all knowing he was physically and emotionally abusive lol. Like they've all literally just said things like "well that's just how he is" and accepted it. They would talk about how he did horrible things to me and say they understood, but when it came down to it, they'd rather accept him as abusive trash than force him to face consequences for beating the shit out of me as a kid. I didn't even ask them to choose me or him, just expected them to respect my choice, but they didn't and called me heartless because "family means everything", etc. Anyways, I'm sure I can do better than that at the end of the day.

This has been your overly personal Coops anecdote lmao.


In Topic: Would you have a kid with your friend?

10 August 2018 - 12:15 PM

I feel like a bunch of hippies living on a farm will still encounter all the issues you mentioned. Children need (a) central authority figure(s). A commune just sounds like a way to avoid being directly responsible for your offspring.
 
 
 
This is a pretty bad idea. Like Keil said, a "friendship" isn't nearly a strong enough bond to consider raising a kid with someone. 
A committed relationship is the best base for raising a child.
(Not to say that single parents can't do it, I just don't think that it's the best way to raise a kid. Kudos to those men and women that make it work.)


Nowhere did I say people in a village situation wouldn't be responsible for their kid, and assuming that's what I meant is silly. I fail to see how communally raising kids doesn't include authority figures, but ok.

@cara yeah I agree the concept has some cultural implications but I truly don't mean it in a weird cult way. I just think there is a lot more stability and support when more people are involved in child-rearing, like families that are multigenerational in one home, the kids tend to do better because they have more than just mom and dad to offer social, emotional, mental and physical support you know? I agree that there are potential problems with communally raising a kid, but it's like that with all families. And I think it's cool your friend wants to try something different! She should go for it. Honestly, my family was nuclear, and it was garbage and none of my close friends had positive nuclear family environments. I think so much of it is cultural.

In Topic: [Voting] Photographica #17: Sky

09 August 2018 - 12:12 PM

Great job everyone who entered! These are really nice. I think #1 is my favorite.