PG 13 joke...it's an old joke, but the only one I can ever remember
There are two guys who go camping far in the woods. While they're out there, one of them decides to wander off to go to the bathroom and is bitten by a snake on the butt.
The guys panic as it's a poisonous snake. Worried about his bitten buddy, the other guy calls 9-11 to get him help. Finding out that they are nowhere near help, the 9-11 operator gives him advice to keep him alive until help gets there. "You'll need to cut where he was bitten and suck out the venom to keep him alive until help gets there." she says.
The bitten guy asks his friend, "What did she say?"
"I'm sorry, man, she said you're going to die."