Guppy Guppies Guppie

Adventures in Malnutrition

Sun, 22 Feb 2015 06:17:00 +0000

I believe it was @Jess who mentioned a gluten-free diet relieving previously life-long symptoms which my girlfriend suffers from, which reminded me that my girlfriend and her mother (and various other blood relatives) have an allergy to wheat.

So I thought, what if they don't have a wheat allergy? WHAT IF IT WAS THE GLUTEN ALL ALONG?!?!

It's a lot cheaper to just not eat gluten than to go to a doctor and get tested, so I suggested to my girlfriend that we go gluten free for a couple weeks to test my theory. She fell for my evil plan, and agreed to go gluten free, so long as I was the cook (I'm the cook anyway).

So I made soups and stir fry and cooked fish and chicken. I gave her whatever she wanted, so long as it was gluten-free. After all, we wanted to test for gluten, not the other potentially harmful elements of her diet.

...the thing is, I was only taking gluten out.

I forgot to replace the bread and crackers with rice and corn alternatives.

It wasn't until almost a week in that she was nearly crying while explaining how hungry she was. I had accidentally put her on the Atkin's Diet...which is to say, first-world starvation.

There was much remorse, and also potatoes. And also rice. And also corn.

Yesterday was the 14th day of our field study, and it turns out that just cutting gluten out fixed all of her digestive problems (except permanent physical damage already done).

TL;DR Don't starve your girlfriend while trying to do experiments on her.

Hot Wheels

Sun, 01 Feb 2015 22:33:00 +0000

My dad and I were at the grocery store a town over and decided it was time to get an umbrella each, since ours have been MIA for a while and it was raining.

On our drive home, I noticed a sort of smoky smell, almost like smouldering plastic. No sooner had I mentioned this to my father, the brake light came on.

Of course, he immediately tried to brake, and of course it didn't work. Not even a little bit. The parking brake didn't even slow us down. He was trying to pull onto the side of the road at this point, but the thick, noxious smoke billowing in through the vents made it pretty difficult to do so.

We managed to coast to a stop without hitting anything or being hit by anyone, which is pretty impressive considering the extensive road construction and lane slaloming around orange barrels.

My only regret is that I didn't think to snap a picture while the flames were dancing

It was a good thing we bought those umbrellas, because we stood in the rain for quite a while while the front half of the car burst into rather impressive flames.

Spoiler

Star Wars!?

Thu, 29 Jan 2015 06:19:00 +0000

My girlfriend is running a Star Wars tabletop campaign, and I've agreed to handle combat, which means a whole lot of combing through books for beast and bad-guy (actually good-guy considering the party is full of Sith and Mandalorian Mercs) stats. I've also been brushing up on lore so they don't run into a race that isn't spacefaring yet, etc..

I've also been taking pics and altering them for use as character images.

Spoiler

I've finally got the basic patterns and measurements down for the Jedi Starfire and Sith Raven costumes I'm making! No, I'm not going to post our measurements.

This weekend I think I'll be making the journey home to my parents', where I will probably request the loan of my mother's secondary sewing machine and other sewing paraphernalia.

I've come to the conclusion that Star Wars is slowly consuming my life. Not sure if want?

Oops

Thu, 22 Jan 2015 04:28:00 +0000

Apparently I got the beginner blog award before I began a blog. I am obviously a charlatan and a fraud.

I'm not sure if I'm a dirty pig or just feeling sheepish, but I do know I'm as edible as I am cute.