17 replies to this topic

[usfrules]

And the topic should be guys'
So I've only had 3 serious boyfriends..I'm very picky and I'm about ready to head into my 4th relationship with an AWESOME guy...just awesome..like honestly makes me say fuck all the other guy (yes eff even the camaro guy!)
Well I want to know, I've talked to some guys just casually and I was wondering: why do guys talk about sex when they just meet a girl that they're attracted to like a week into meeting her? Sometimes I'll even meet a guy off facebook sometimes and it's OBVIOUS he's looking for pussy because he'll text me everyday and when it hits that week he starts to get sexual even if we're not in a relationship and it makes me feel uncomfrtable. Do guys do this just to feel it out or something? I'm just wondering..how do guys usually approach trying to get a girlfriend VS trying to get in somebody's pants. Am I just being a prude =/
i feel like a prude:
Me: "It's -insert very unique name here"
Him: "You like saying it don't you.."

Him: "-insert my name- I wish you were here"
Me: "Haha I guess so? Why do you ask is it some sexual reference or something"
Him: "nah, I'm past that stage But I still have som vigorous youngun moments. I am just curious on what you have to offer"
My translation: I'm sooo fuuckin horny. I just want a hot girl in my bed on a Wednesday night god why must you take so much effort to be with..are you a slut or not?
The other guy:
"I feel like I am on the verge of meeting someone that is going to alter my life. It is a strange sensation.I have only felt this a couple of times before in my life. Both times I have felt it I was right about the event changing things. This week can't go by fast enough anymore for me. I want it to be Saturday so I can be with you and having fun with our dinner/movie/ice cream/hang out plans. The night is going to be so perfect. "
OMG I feel i just feel awesome....god..I feel so lucky!

The guy who I'm choosing is SOOO nice. he writes me a really long message to my email every night and is just a sweetie. He's the best out of them..a little shy but oh so awesome!

Edited by usfrules, 04 May 2011 - 10:22 PM.

[iargue]

In all honesty. 99.999% of all guys consider sex at most times.

As it was put in the Big Bang Theory, the only guys not looking to have sex, are those that just had sex. While some guys are willing to wait, or value other things more importantly, they still have sex on their mind. Any time a guy does something for you, that is a high chance that at least 1% of his mind is on sex. Its a huge motivator for most guys, even if they are in an active relationship, or if they are not, sex is something that they will consider at all times.

Now, some guys are only ever interested in sex, and if you make them wait, then they go away, others are interested in both sex, and spending time with you, and are willing to wait longer periods of time before they have sex with you. The biggest difference is if he tries to have sex with you, or if he just talks about it. If he just jokes about it, then he is probably just flirting, but if he has proposed sex on several occasions, or brings up sex from unrelated subjects, I would be a little bit worried.

[Charmender]

men = sex
that is all

[WharfRat]

And the topic should be guys'
So I've only had 3 serious boyfriends..I'm very picky and I'm about ready to head into my 4th relationship with an AWESOME guy...just awesome..like honestly makes me say fuck all the other guy (yes eff even the camaro guy!)
Well I want to know, I've talked to some guys just casually and I was wondering: why do guys talk about sex when they just meet a girl that they're attracted to like a week into meeting her? Sometimes I'll even meet a guy off facebook sometimes and it's OBVIOUS he's looking for pussy because he'll text me everyday and when it hits that week he starts to get sexual even if we're not in a relationship and it makes me feel uncomfrtable. Do guys do this just to feel it out or something? I'm just wondering..how do guys usually approach trying to get a girlfriend VS trying to get in somebody's pants. Am I just being a prude =/

haha... I wouldn't say you are being a prude. If you are uncomfortable with the topic of sex at that point in your relationship, it simply isn't time yet.

As far as looking for a relationship vs. looking for pussy? (Prepare for a controversial statement that clearly doesn't fit every male even though I'm going to stereotype and speak as if I represent a full knowledge of the workings of every males mind. )

I think that all guys (Age 26 and under anyways) are ONLY looking for pussy (Bottom line, anyways.) Some are very upfront about their desires and make it known at the earliest time that they feel that it won't be too uncomfortable to bring it up. (For some, this period is 5 minutes, for others, a period of weeks or months.) Some guys know that all they want is pussy and they go for the bottom line, while others think that the only way to have sex or enjoyable/meaningful/blahblahblah sex is while in a relationship so they approach the sex game from that angle. I think that if sex was removed completely from the table permanently, you wouldn't find very many men in relationships (within the age parameter I defined above.)

Lost my train of thought but let me address your question a bit better. I think that you are correct that guys do start talking about sex after a certain point to get some indication as to the level of commitment, time, and effort they are going to have to put in to get in your pants. Determining if a guy just wants in your pants or if he wants to be in a relationship is really going to vary fairly widely from one guy to the next. Personally, I would look to see if the guy genuinely seems to enjoy spending time with you or if it appears to be an angle.

Lost that train of thought again... Sorry... it's late here. Although I doubt I was of much help, I hope maybe I helped some... I will likely go through this thread again tomorrow and post a more cohesive thought on the matter.

P.s. I've been in a relationship off and on with the same woman for 7 years now so I may not be the best male to solicit advice from on this issue, but I do like to think that I understand the courting process fairly well.

Best of luck in your new relationship!
Cody

(the two above posted while I was writing this.)

P.s. Holy shit. I think me and iargue just agreed about the intentions of men pursuing relationships. This has to be a first.

The guy who I'm choosing is SOOO nice. he writes me a really long message to my email every night and is just a sweetie. He's the best out of them..a little shy but oh so awesome!

A sign of great and quite possibly genuine effort! That sounds good! You may have found a nice guy.

[semore]

To be honest, every guy is different. Of course every guy you meet is going to want to have sex at some point unless they're gay... but not every guy is after ONLY sex. You just gotta be completely honest bro. Me personally, that's all I ask for out of a female. I'm a straight forward person and I make that clear with every girl I ever get with. No secrets no fronts no deception no bullshit. If you don't want to fuck a guy right away then make him wait, tell him str8 up that you like him and you would fuck him but you just want to wait cuz you're not a whore. If he don't wait then he just wana fuck. I mean, if you make him wait forever and a day and he leaves you that's just your fault, but you know what I mean, putting it off for a reasonable amount of time is no big deal and he should be able to wait. I make girls wait, sometimes just to tease, and sometimes because I really like her and I find that if you have sex too early the relationship can burn out too soon or whatever.

But basically, you did kind of hit it on the head, just because we bring it up in a text message doesn't mean we're demanding it... we're feeling it out. Seeing what type of chic you are. If we bring it up and you seem down, then yea let's make it happen. But if you don't seem down asap it doesn't mean AT ALL that I don't wanna talk to you anymore. might even respect you more.

Just be real bruh bruh you'll be aiight!

[Darkthrone]

Maybe he's just making sure he doesn't get thrown in the friend zone, letting you know that he's into you that way is a good way to stay out of that dreaded place. If I'm getting into a girl I make sure she knows that I'm into her that way asap.

[ilovepolkadots]

why do guys talk about sex when they just meet a girl that they're attracted to like a week into meeting her?

instead of trying to go for general understanding try replacing that phrase with "when they just meet ME"
i probably has something to do with the way you act, carry yourself, talk, etc.

guys will treat you how you want to be treated in most circumstances

are you a slut or not?

[Lallard]

men = sex
that is all

Helping an old lady cross the street = sex motivated.
---


For younger college dudes (generalizing), sex will be the one motivator (but not necessarily the only thing, mind you) they want to get close to a girl the instant they meet her. But of course what makes some guys better than the other would be the ability to suppress their perverted thoughts and actually think about what would be considered a more "respectable" way to treat a girl.

[iomega]

It could be a number of things.
Most of my male friends are under the impression that girls dont want sex as much as we do, so they figure that if they don't ask for it they wont get it.
That being said, most of my male friends are sex-obsessed virgins so I'm really not that surprised. "You have to be in it to win it."

And like Dots said, it depends on how you carry yourself and the gossip surrounding you.
If a guy knows that you put out, then they really don't have much to lose by asking...

Or it could be that that's just what they expect. Maybe their last Girl(s) didn't have a problem with it, so it sorta become a norm to them...

[usfrules]

Yep, I'm a WHORE. Oh my goodness..I give off Whore vibes..no really I'm not talking about anybody that I've met in real life yet though. I've met some people online and I haven't said anything sexual or suggestive and it's like BAM all of a sudden they want to test the waters. So no, I don't think it has anything to do with me =/ and it's not every guy I guess I was exaggerating for more effect

[Xwee]

I'm not a guy, but from my observation most men Value three things more than anything else in the world, Food, Sex, and Entertainment/Sleep (depending on lazy-level)

However there are SOME that value love, work, and enjoyment as well..

If a guy is obviously horny, or is consistantly play flirting or talking about doing dirty things with you, all they what is to get between your legs once.. aka "Hump and Dump"
If a guy doesn't talk about it, but has roaming fingers, then they are wanting to score simply to say they got in.
If a guy doesn't talk about it, has hesitant roaming fingers, then they care, but still want to have some fun.
If a guy doesn't talk about it, doesn't do anything sexual (this includes kisses) towards you, they are most likely gay and haven't realized it yet XD.

[Eyams]

In all honesty. 99.999% of all guys consider sex at most times.

As it was put in the Big Bang Theory, the only guys not looking to have sex, are those that just had sex. While some guys are willing to wait, or value other things more importantly, they still have sex on their mind. Any time a guy does something for you, that is a high chance that at least 1% of his mind is on sex. Its a huge motivator for most guys, even if they are in an active relationship, or if they are not, sex is something that they will consider at all times.

Now, some guys are only ever interested in sex, and if you make them wait, then they go away, others are interested in both sex, and spending time with you, and are willing to wait longer periods of time before they have sex with you. The biggest difference is if he tries to have sex with you, or if he just talks about it. If he just jokes about it, then he is probably just flirting, but if he has proposed sex on several occasions, or brings up sex from unrelated subjects, I would be a little bit worried.

so true

[simplicity155]

I'm not a guy, but from my observation most men Value three things more than anything else in the world, Food, Sex, and Entertainment/Sleep (depending on lazy-level)

However there are SOME that value love, work, and enjoyment as well..

If a guy is obviously horny, or is consistantly play flirting or talking about doing dirty things with you, all they what is to get between your legs once.. aka "Hump and Dump"
If a guy doesn't talk about it, but has roaming fingers, then they are wanting to score simply to say they got in.
If a guy doesn't talk about it, has hesitant roaming fingers, then they care, but still want to have some fun.
If a guy doesn't talk about it, doesn't do anything sexual (this includes kisses) towards you, they are most likely gay and haven't realized it yet XD.

lol =.= how come most of the options seem to somewhat make the male gender look bad.

[Jake]

men = sex
that is all

I don't see why there is all of these paragraphs in here.

tl;dr we want sex.

If he is talking to you about sex before you even meet eachother... firstly wtf are you hooking up with people off of FB for? But regardless they are testing you out to see how slutty you are.

[luvsmyncis]

The guy who I'm choosing is SOOO nice. he writes me a really long message to my email every night and is just a sweetie. He's the best out of them..a little shy but oh so awesome!

He probably collects human hair.

[Noitidart]

You put way too much thought into this. Just put out before 1 wk. Problem solved.

[fxckyouguys]

You put way too much thought into this.

Honestly, exactly this. You are over thinking it. Common sense always helps me with this problem.

(I've only ever had one girl friend. I feel more comfortable around boys...and as a result, I tend to think like one. This is basically a compilation of what i've heard a million and one guys say over and over again, so my opinion should be as good as any of theirs.)

1. Don't place too much emphasis on sex. Everyone thinks about sex, it's human. (Even if a guy, OR A GIRL, is not telling you about these feelings, even in the beginning of a relationship they are STILL THERE. - Just use your own thoughts as a reference.) It's a part of the adult world. If you're attractive, it's GOING to come up in conversation, nice guy or not. The bottom line: It's just sex.

2. Don't make assumptions. The reality of the situation is a few weeks or even a few months is NOT enough time to get to know someone, and most assumptions early in a relationship usually are bull and a result of over-analyzing the situation.


There is no guide for situations like this. I can't tell you "If he does this, then he WILL do this." My advice is to just.... keep seeing him if you like him, don't keep seeing him if you don't. That's it.
Hope this helps.

Edited by oreo12, 07 May 2011 - 12:10 AM.

[simplicity155]

You put way too much thought into this. Just put out before 1 wk. Problem solved.

oh if this was hte case the world would be much more simple =p

back to the op though like others have stated by overthinking it you are making it inot more of an issue than it is