45 replies to this topic

[Melchoire]

Don't tell her, it'll make a great novel.

[crtitcmeerca]

You should tell her how you feel about her and take this chance. You dont need to ask her to stay, the greatest love is freely given and once the ball is in her court, its up to her to continue the game or not. At least you know you've tried. If she thinks that she cant stay for love's sake, just be her friend and strengthen the bond of friendship with her instead. It may just end up, 10 years down the road, that you both may eventually move to an area where its easier to contact with one another and you may actually end up being with her. I'd rather be optimistically hopeful than pessimistically despondent. In the mean time, live your life and develop a strong bond of friendship with her.

[Ladida]

Don't. Love isn't everything, no matter what you feel right now. UofA is brilliant, there's no reason to shortchange yourself just to go running after a girl (who may not even like you and ends up thinking you're a creepy stalker). She's going to another province for university, but I'm assuming she lived in Edmonton, has her family there, and probably will return. If she thinks you want her to switch univs to be with you, she'll just think you're a selfish bastard and probably won't even want to be friends with you anymore. This isn't an age where girls keep their lips shut when it comes to telling a guy they care about how they feel. Chances are if she hasn't made it very clear in some form that she cares about you in a romantic way, she doesn't love you like that. Friendship maybe, relationship no. It's also not fair to either of you to be in a long distance relationship as a beginning of one. Who wants that? Why would anyone jump into a relationship like that unless they're truly committed to it? It's not fair to expect someone to wait for 4 years, when there wasn't an existing relationship to begin with. You only think you'll regret it now, because you haven't met another girl who's made you do cartwheels around her. There'll be other lovely girls you'll meet in the course of your degree. It'd be a shame to shut them all out, because you're hoping that things might work out with this girl (although you don't even know how well you get along as a couple, and you never get a good feel of it with long distance).

So, you get two picks:
Regret not telling a girl you love her (I still think if she loved you, you'd know. It's not easy to hide that), or
Regret shutting out another girl who loves you because you're hung up on a girl who won't be available for at least 4 years.

[ShadowLink64]

So, you get two picks:
Regret not telling a girl you love her (I still think if she loved you, you'd know. It's not easy to hide that), or
Regret shutting out another girl who loves you because you're hung up on a girl who won't be available for at least 4 years.

I agree with Ladida. As well, the regret probably won't last a lifetime since you'll meet all sorts of interesting people over the course of your degree. But... on the flip side, if you move over to Ontario, you will also experience different things than you will here. Just make sure you do what is in your best interest. At your age (and my age), one has to assume that girls can come and go just like that, especially when there's nothing serious going on to begin with. I speak from direct experience.

As a sidenote, University of Alberta is a great school for engineering (I'll be a grad student there starting in Sept). Queens I heard is also decent, but if you pay attention to rankings, funding, jobs, etc, U of A has an advantage.

[Hardy]

Rejection is easier to deal with than regret.

Rejection is temporary, but regret lasts a lifetime.

I only read one reply to this thread and it was all the was necessary.

/thread

[Narcissa]

Go up to her and say this, "I think you're one of the most gorgeous and amazing girls I'll ever meet and I'm really disappointed I only get to tell you that I like you, right before you leave."

Girls generally like sappy (especially high school girls) guys who're willing to share their feelings openly. Saying the above will lead you to one of two options;

She'll be totally dumbfounded a guy could say such an emotionally true thing to her and when she goes to Canada she won't stop thinking about you; you'll have turned the tables and she'll be the one thinking you got away. This could make things work in your favor.

She'll not reciprocate the feelings and forget about it once she starts college; no harm, no foul.

Tell her man! This is the perfect time to nut up and do it; not much will happen if she doesn't feel the same since she's leaving.

[Volition]

Thanks for the input guys, I'm gonna reach a decision tomorrow, so if a mod could make this thread disappear/locked after tomorrow that would be nice.

[wtfints]

just tell her when the time comes. dont regret. who know she might be feeling the same way too. i've seen distance relationship that works well still. its not like she not coming back anyway either

[Volition]

Since this thread hasn't disappeared yet, I'll continue asking for advice. She said "let's do something on friday" i have nothing planned. Any ideas? Nothing too elaborate, I was thinking lunch followed by...idk

[jcrdude]

Since this thread hasn't disappeared yet, I'll continue asking for advice. She said "let's do something on friday" i have nothing planned. Any ideas? Nothing too elaborate, I was thinking lunch followed by...idk

Lunch and a long walk are a good combo. Walking is a naturally relaxing activity, plus the activity is not very mentally demanding, so you get a chance to talk about shit.

Also, this is a great non-committed activity... so many other things are too cliche.

[wtfints]

Since this thread hasn't disappeared yet, I'll continue asking for advice. She said "let's do something on friday" i have nothing planned. Any ideas? Nothing too elaborate, I was thinking lunch followed by...idk

i think you stand a chance. just go with the flow.

[Volition]

yeah, i was thinking of getting lunch, then going to this park and just walking and talking to each other.

[Noitidart]

Love isn't real man. I think you need to sit down and think about yourself.
Don't forget about this, just remember it as a big mistake. To have even thought to have done anything long ago or now. Life is not about that one girl (or any girl in the future).

You have to help society man, somehow. Even a job at the local gas station is helping society.

I guess you can say you can help society by creating a family. But do you really want that? And why with her? Because she's got a juicy ass/tits to go with her tight vagina?

[Volition]

Love isn't real man. I think you need to sit down and think about yourself.
Don't forget about this, just remember it as a big mistake. To have even thought to have done anything long ago or now. Life is not about that one girl (or any girl in the future).

You have to help society man, somehow. Even a job at the local gas station is helping society.

I guess you can say you can help society by creating a family. But do you really want that? And why with her? Because she's got a juicy ass/tits to go with her tight vagina?

I'm no longer that dumb kid who judges based on looks, two years ago I would be guilty as charged, but I feel like I've grown past that (at least I hope I have). Anyways, I'm prepared to admit that love isn't real, its simply an institution, but not quite yet. Locke once stated "the highest perfection of intellectual nature lies in a careful and constant pursuit of true and solid happiness", and at this current moment this is what makes me happy, knowing this I'm prepared to acknowledge that I'm rash and impetuous for living in the moment and disregarding possible consequences. This does not necessarily mean I want to create a family with her at this point, its too early to be thinking that far ahead, education is higher up on my list of priorities. As for society, fuck society, I don't want to see any more money being poured into prisons to feed criminals and into hospitals to save the people who bring illnesses upon themselves (ie smokers).

Edited by Volition, 07 June 2011 - 08:43 PM.

[Narcissa]

Don't listen to Noit!

Go out and have a great time; if it works than it works. Be a gentleman and just be yourself. If it works out than it works out but at least you know one thing, she likes you enough to try and set something up with you so the rest is alll just compatibility.

[Noitidart]

Dang man you're quite the philosopher. I think you don't need our help. You just need to sit there and think man. You're awesome man.

[Volition]

Dang man you're quite the philosopher. I think you don't need our help. You just need to sit there and think man. You're awesome man.

What have I done to you to provoke this unnecessary sarcasm?

[Georgina]

What have I done to you to provoke this unnecessary sarcasm?

Honestly, he's not being sarcastic. He's genuinely always like that with everyone.

[Boggart]

Honestly, he's not being sarcastic. He's genuinely always like that with everyone.

Unless he mentions rape.

[Georgina]

Unless he mentions rape.

Or butt sex.

[Bazzel]

Tell her..

Dont a live a life of "what if"