2 replies to this topic

[McAwesome]

So this thread shall consist of all the jokes you people find funny. Let me start with some of my own:

The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”


Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” said a boy to a girl.


“Well, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.



“No.” replied the boy.



“I’m the principal’s daughter.” said the girl.



“And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.



“No,” she replied.


“Thank goodness!” said the boy with a sign of relief.

Edited by McAwesome, 10 July 2012 - 03:32 AM.

[HappyAccident]

derp

Impossible to Please

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.


There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Edited by HappyAccident, 10 July 2012 - 04:57 AM.