Don't throw the secret back in her face. I know the exact feeling, and I know the exact moment. From my own experience I can tell you many thing. I can tell you that she needs someone to pull her out of it. I've never let a situation just go its course and it end up good. Usually it ends up in a giant mess and I lose that person forever, despite wishing that I never did. What I can tell you is that when you have the talk, you have to be 100% honest, and 120% gentle. You have to show it from your point of view, while always praising them or making them feel better. Otherwise they see it as you attacking them. Tell them how you feel, but try and not bring up anything negative, except that you want them to get help.
She has to accept what is happening long before she can get any help. You have to be the person who pushes her to the point where she agrees that its time to talk to a professional and get help. I've gone to plenty of meetings with another person as support, because I brought them out of their shell, made them feel safe and normal, and then coaxed them sharing it with other people whom she knows that they can trust. The key is to let her know that there is nothing to be afraid of, and that she doesn't have to hide from her past, because shes a great person.
I'll give it all a try. She needs to be made aware of my concern in either case. I've been in a similar spot to hers, and all jokes of herpes aside, it's a downright dangerous place to be.
Dear A:
You need to stop trying to run. Every since your past, you have been trying to run from what has happened from you, and you keep thinking if you go somewhere else, you will feel better, safer, and more at home. Yet each time you run, you find nothing but the same emptiness that you always find, and so you run again, and again.
You will never ever find happiness if you keep running like this. Seattle, michigan, another country. They will always make you feel different, because you refuse to accept what has happened, and who you really are. You continue to try and force yourself to be different, when you naturally are different, and as such you are never yourself.
Everything bad thats happened to your recently has been your own fault. It pains me to say that, but it truly is your stupid decisions on who to trust, and to be so trusting of them. It took forever to get through the trust barrier, and yet you tend to let in the worst people in easily, and then are supprised when you get hurt. I've tried telling you that they are bad people, but all you do is get mad at me, and then apologize after they hurt you. At this point it feels like you want to get hurt, because its the only thing you've known.
Its time to stop running, and its time to stop lying to yourself. Its time to be who you are, and who you want to be, instead of this person deep inside of a shell, who only stick her head out to get it stepped on. You have to be okay with who you are, far before you can be okay with anyone else. Until you reach that point, you will jump from person to person, each time you will get hurt, and I will be forced to pick you up, because I can't stand to see you hurt.
You are hurting others with your actions. You think that your parents are punishing you because you got the house robbed. They are punishing you because you trusted people you should not have. There should never be a moment when someone asks you "who do you think robbed you?" and the answer is your latest boyfriend. They gave you a curfew, and installed an alarm system, because they are afraid your next action will hurt you worse then all of the times before. I know this because I share their pain every time you come to me because you screwed up.
Wow. I've never known anyone like this, I don't think, so I'm afraid I have no advice. How old is this person? Where is she now, in relation to you?
