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I might be declined the right to get my tubes tied... thoughts?


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#26 Guest_Kate_*

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Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:21 AM

Indeed I am. Usually I'm very fond of the NHS, waiting times aside - this is the one instance where we really fall out. It is hugely irritating that I don't like children, don't want children and can't have children but I'm forced to keep my body in this limbo state for a few more years until they're really sure it's "what I want".

 

Arguably, constant advances in medicine mean there's a slim possibility - I think the best case (and really, we're talking miracle scenario) is that I could make it to 28 weeks in which case we would have a very premature baby but one that could survive. But I don't want to put us through that, I don't want to put a baby through that and that really is a very best case scenario. More likely is that we'd lose the baby early in my second trimester. They spent 10 years telling me that it can't be done, I've come to terms with that, the Boy has always known that, we've filled our lives with other things, only for them to turn around and say "well, maybe, but only just".

 

They will pay for the abortion if I do get pregnant though, and the pill is freeeeee. So that's all nice. But given the tiny percentage chance of us managing to have a baby, it seems more sensible to just do it my way. :p

That's all entirely understandable in your instance for sure. It's a precaution not only for you physically, but emotionally as well. (The loss of a pregnancy, especially in the second trimester, can be devastating for a very long time, not to mention the complications that can arise, which I mentioned happening to my sister in law above somewhere.)

Medicare covers abortions here, but not contraception. :( 
I could possibly get coverage on my husband's military benefits but even then I'm not entirely sure that it would be full coverage and as I said before, I fail hard at taking pills. 



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    #27 luvsmyncis

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:23 AM

    Medicare covers abortions here, but not contraception. :(


    ... WHAT? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

    #28 Guest_Kate_*

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:26 AM

    ... WHAT? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

    I know.. Here you can go to an abortion clinic and you're covered, they're like "we got chu".
    But you have to pay for birth control pills, deposhot, the coil, errthang.

     



    #29 GhostMommy

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:30 AM

    Just an FYI.  My father was married at a very young age.  She died.  I was a very late in life baby although I am not the most extreme example in my extended family (My aunt was 48 when she had hers).    You have close to a quarter of a century of potential fertile years, things happen.

     

    For men to reverse their procedure it is entirely possible, relatively easy procedure.   Not so with women.



    #30 Guest_Kate_*

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:34 AM

    Just an FYI.  My father was married at a very young age.  She died.  I was a very late in life baby although I am not the most extreme example in my extended family (My aunt was 48 when she had hers).    You have close to a quarter of a century of potential fertile years, things happen.

     

    For men to reverse their procedure it is entirely possible, relatively easy procedure.   Not so with women.

    I understand that, but I'm not your father. :p I already have children and whether my husband died tomorrow or not, I will not want more. 



    #31 luvsmyncis

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:37 AM

    Just an FYI.  My father was married at a very young age.  She died.  I was a very late in life baby.


    We know, we know. :p

    #32 GhostMommy

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:40 AM

    I understand that, but I'm not your father. :p

    Well my mother is old too.



    #33 luvsmyncis

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:46 AM

    Well my mother is old too.


    No matter how you feel about tubal ligation, I think we can all agree that we don't want to think about Mibs' old mom and dad having sex under a full moon, in a desert, on a blanket handed down for generations, while a wild wolf's specter watches. So let's not think about that at all.

    #34 Guest_Kate_*

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:48 AM

    No matter how you feel about tubal ligation, I think we can all agree that we don't want to think about Mibs' old mom and dad having sex under a full moon, in a desert, on a blanket handed down for generations, while a wild wolf's specter watches. So let's not think about that at all.

    11201crying1.gif



    #35 GhostMommy

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:51 AM

    That is silly, everyone knows indians don't have sex in the dark.  

     

    No matter how you feel about tubal ligation, I think we can all agree that we don't want to think about Mibs' old mom and dad having sex under a full moon, in a desert, on a blanket handed down for generations, while a wild wolf's specter watches. So let's not think about that at all.



    #36 Boggart

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:51 AM

    I know.. Here you can go to an abortion clinic and you're covered, they're like "we got chu".
    But you have to pay for birth control pills, deposhot, the coil, errthang.

     

    Canada is the only country with nation-wide healthcare that doesn't cover pharmacare :(

     

    Another reason that often it's older for women (which many people have stated) is yes, it is a much riskier and more intricate procedure than for the men

     

    But also, the process of a vasectomy is reversible. it is NOT reversible in women. yes there is all that "ARE YOU SURE" stuff since there have been many cases where people got their tubes tied at a young age then realized they wanted children later on and begged the doctors to reverse it. Sorry, can't.

     

    And I understand that your mind is definitely made up on the matter, but when it comes to universal health care, it's often hard to make exceptions for every case.

     

    I'm also a bit biased since I never need to worry about pregnancy scares or anything like that. Just tons of HIV.



    #37 GhostMommy

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 06:59 AM

    Not all vasectomies are reversible and some tubal ligations can be reversed.  It is just the odds are really against a tubal ligation being reversed.

     

    While you may not want a another child, what if your second husband really wanted one?   If your first husband had been lost tragical to wolves?



    #38 Guest_Kate_*

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 07:01 AM

    Not all vasectomies are reversible and some tubal ligations can be reversed.  It is just the odds are really against a tubal ligation being reversed.

     

    While you may not want a another child, what if your second husband really wanted one?   If your first husband had been lost tragical to wolves?

    Too bad for him? lol I have children. Soon I will have three. I wouldn't marry someone who couldn't accept that this is it for me. 



    #39 Boggart

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 07:08 AM

    Not all vasectomies are reversible and some tubal ligations can be reversed.  It is just the odds are really against a tubal ligation being reversed.

     

    While you may not want a another child, what if your second husband really wanted one?   If your first husband had been lost tragical to wolves?

    Not all are, but if you discuss with your doctor they usually tell you go for a reversible one. And I honestly have not heard of anyone who had a successful tube ligation being reversed

     

     

    Too bad for him? lol I have children. Soon I will have three. I wouldn't marry someone who couldn't accept that this is it for me. 

    Yeah I agree. Kinda too bad. You shouldn't get married to someone without discussing it first :p



    #40 luvsmyncis

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 07:26 AM

    That is silly, everyone knows indians don't have sex in the dark.


    Hence the full moon.

    #41 Sweeney

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 07:30 AM

    ITT: A literal child expecting to be taken seriously when advising a grown woman on her reproductive future.

    Well, that or an ancient, backwards NDN pretending to be a literal child.

    #42 Kat

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 07:35 AM

    I have to agree with Dan.


    What?! Imposter prbm! :p

    Edited by Kat, 24 April 2014 - 07:35 AM.


    #43 luvsmyncis

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 07:48 AM

    What?! Imposter prbm! :p


    It was very difficult for me. I winced.

    #44 Doomsday

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 09:00 AM

    @Boggart Canada isn't the only place. Birth control isn't covered under Medicare in Australia (but funnily enough after pregnancy you can get a subsidised boob job to put those milk stretched twins back where they were before pregnancy in some cases).

    My understanding (and I'm in a hurry because I'm only on a short crib break so I'm guessing someone else has already said this but isn't the males option reversible in most cases where the female version isn't. They obviously won't know that it won't be reversible until they go to perform the procedure.

    Despite you being 100% sure you don't want kids I'm sure there have been plenty of cases where younger women have made that decision early in life and then later regretted it. Out of curiosity why do you have the need to get your tubes tied if your husband is willing I get snipped? If something happens to him and you find a new partner by this stage you will probably be of an age where you'll have been able to get the procedure done without the issues of lengthy interviews and repeated yes this is what I want.

    Edited by Doomsday, 24 April 2014 - 09:01 AM.


    #45 Guest_Kate_*

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 10:08 AM

    Out of curiosity why do you have the need to get your tubes tied if your husband is willing I get snipped? If something happens to him and you find a new partner by this stage you will probably be of an age where you'll have been able to get the procedure done without the issues of lengthy interviews and repeated yes this is what I want.

    I don't have the need to. I choose to. It was something I'd decided before he ever decided he wanted a vasectomy and it's still what I want. :p



    #46 Sweeney

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 10:12 AM

    I don't have the need to. I choose to. It was something I'd decided before he ever decided he wanted a vasectomy and it's still what I want. :p


    No, Kate. You don't understand. You don't need this procedure, so your inability to choose it is irrelevant!
    Just let the men decide what's best for your body, and for goodness sake stop thinking about things! It's dangerous!

    #47 Ali

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 10:15 AM

    No, Kate. You don't understand. You don't need this procedure, so your inability to choose it is irrelevant!
    Just let the men decide what's best for your body, and for goodness sake stop thinking about things! It's dangerous!

    Our poor girlish brains, why do we insist on trying to have thoughts and opinions?



    #48 Sweeney

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 10:23 AM

    Our poor girlish brains, why do we insist on trying to have thoughts and opinions?


    I know! Kate keeps using the word "decision" like she's capable of making such a thing.

    #49 Guest_Kate_*

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 10:24 AM

    *snickers*



    #50 Ali

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    Posted 24 April 2014 - 10:25 AM

    I know! Kate keeps using the word "decision" like she's capable of making such a thing.


    I can't hold enough thoughts in my head at once to make decisions. :( So difficult when your brain is so small.


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