4 replies to this topic

[Emily]

 

View the original thread for rules and prizes. 

 

Entry 1

Spoiler

She walks in the night, down a desolate alley. There is but one light flickering, making it seem like she was in a horror movie approaching that final moment of her life. She begins to walk faster to clear the alley, turns the corner in a hurry, and suddenly stops. With barely any light aiding her vision, she sees an ominous figure, still as death, outside of the old mannequin warehouse doors. She hears some commotion inside the warehouse, and Reeeeeooooooowwwww! She jumps and almost falls while stumbling around the cats that ran between and around her feet. She uses the wall to catch herself. She takes a few deep breaths and keeps walking. She passes the doors and realizes the ominous figure disappeared. She thought it was a mannequin, but now that it has vanished, she looks puzzled. Confused and slightly scared she wonders what she seen? She decides not to dwell any further and to get home as fast as she can. As she is walking, something behind her catches her attention. She turns to look; still walking. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees the ominous figure once again. Her heart starts racing. Is someone following her? She walks faster. After a minute, she turns to looks back again. Still, the ominous figure is behind her as if to be following her. She starts picking up speed and periodically looking back, still seeing the ominous figure behind her. She begins to run, her heart beating thru her chest. As she approaches the corner of the street, she looks behind her once again, still running. She no longer sees the ominous figure. Wheels squeal…….. Crash…….. Thud! Her body hits the street, lying flat on her back. All she can see is the street light flickering above her. Eventually, the light flickers out. But it doesn’t. Her body lies lifeless in the middle of the now desolate road as the car drives off in a hurry. Her body remains untouched until the crack of dawn when the next car approaches the intersection where she lay. Moments later, sirens fill the air. As the ambulance picks her limp body off the street and into a body bag, her spirit exits her body. As her spirit realizes what happened, she senses a touch on her being. She looks to see her family standing around her. With a smile, she hears the little girl say, “Welcome home momma! We’ve been waiting for you!”

 

Entry 2

Spoiler

She thought it was a 
mannequin of the Donald
But it was not yuge

 

Entry 3

Spoiler

"Eliza"

 

    Urbex is an urban phenomenon, to say the least. Encouraging young people to wander into dilapidated buildings is perhaps one of the most interesting forms of natural selection to be observed in our vast and inhospitable world. Defunct department stores, moldy meat factories, and insect-infested hotels make up the landscape of decaying buildings of the great city of Baltimore. Perhaps that is why Poe laid his head and soul to rest here. The macabre attracts many.

 

    Eliza was one of these such explorers. Her Pennsylvania driver's license bearing her name was found alone in a desolate corner of town. She, however, was elsewhere.

 

    When she stepped into the husk of a building, she gasped, her lungs writhing at the cloud of dust she encountered. Over her porcelain-smooth face she pulled a respirator. Mesothelioma is no joke. Her marvelous creamy legs slid against one another as she moved across the floor. Her camera pointed upwards, she trod through the abandoned racks and registers of the crusty remains of the store. In one corner she stopped, and positioned her camera to capture pipes exposed by the crumbling ceiling. Dust crumbled down onto her mask. She was sweating. Her undergarments and the sweet scoops of vanilla inside were visible through the outline of her damp, white shirt. Her shorts were riding up. How uncomfortable for her. But, she had polaroids to take. 

 

    She began dragging the mannequins. Posing them for some sort of postmodern expression. Eliza began to grow queasy. Although she did not quite know why. She finally pulled the last mannequin into place and angled her camera. Adjusted the lighting. Then, the illusion began to crumble. 

 

    The largest mannequin's hand dropped to the floor. A curse fell from her ruby lips and she removed her mask. How rude. She picked up the hand, and with growing fear, noticed a clacking sound inside. She thought it sounded like pencils in a cup. Stiffly, she poured the contents into her hand. 

 

    Some yellow-ivory twigs fell into her hand. Her shriek pierced the thick silence in the building.

The remainder of the arm clattered out from the hollow space in the mannequin. She thought it was just a mannequin.

In her terror, she pushed one of the others to the floor. It cracked, and an ancient and sickly sweet smell spritzed her face. No longer did she make any sound. She fell to her knees and the floor fell with her. 

 

    She was practically in my lap. Quickly, yet gently, I clamped my hand across her sweet mouth and put my other arm around her waist. Her back to me, she was so overtaken with fear and shock, I almost felt bad for her. I breathed gently against her neck while she tried to struggle. My proboscis-like fangs flicked into position. Something strange in me awakened, something I do not wish to explain. I licked her tender neck and pressed my nose against the back of her ear.

 

    I apologized. "Sorry, my dearest."

 

    Then, I sunk my teeth into her throat. She tried to scream as I drained her of her life force.

 

    It was a grotesque thing to do to such a beautiful young woman.

    I had to do it, though. I was ravenous. 

    She became the most beautiful sculpture. I can admire her in my study every day.

 

    The feast she gave me kept me thriving for a long time. It isn't often that one has a dinner so regretful, yet so tasty.

 

Entry 4

Spoiler

She thought it was a mannequin lying in a ditch.
However, the bloodied mannequin was her best friend Mitch.

 

 

 

[jcrdude]

Awesomesauce! Great submissions. My inner editor was hunting for typos to make easy DQs, but y'all had to make me make actual decisions.

 

Here's my breakdown (spoilered if you haven't voted yet and don't want my input to cloud your judgement):

 

Spoiler

2 - Solid use of the word yuge. Could have been a little zingier, but it's hard to make a haiku when you've already been handed almost 50% of the syllables. Valiant effort, but maybe a limerick would have given you some room to play?

 

4 - Two sentence mystery. Rhyme for bonus points, but you're up against two short thrillers, so it's hard to place my vote here.

 

1 - I could've used a couple paragraph breaks to split up the action a bit, but a solid buildup of action with a jolt at the climax. Resolution raised quite a few questions that I hadn't had until the resolution, though. I think this story could have been either trimmed to end at the climax or fleshed further. Bonus points for good kitties.

 

3 - This is the most fleshed out story, but it leaves just enough ambiguity on the horror elements to help them stick in the imagination better. Loses a point because I got confused with the sweet scoops of vanilla. Gains the point back because I had to go back and focus on the breasts for a moment because I got confused. Gains another point for pandering to the home crowd (I'm Baltimore adjacent). I think the last bonus point gets awarded for creative use of narration. Finding the narrator at the end added new shades as I was skimming back through the story. Maintaining third person throughout left me a fun bonus nugget to chase down after the obvious ones. You're getting my vote

[Ladida]

Holy shit, reading this in the middle of the night was not a good idea. Good job for freaking me out, guys! I'll come back when the sun is out and things aren't as scary.

 

But the Donald one made me laugh. Yuge hahahaha.

[Emily]

Vote!

[Emily]

11 votes? Come on ya lazy butts.