19 replies to this topic

[{//Asia]

Okay, so I have this friend. I met him last year at Soccer tryouts, but that doesn't. He and one of his friends became my best friends, so yay; and all was good for a while. But after Evan, the friend, moved away my buddy fell into deep depression. And in July of this year, Lance, the soccer player, was hospitalized for the first time for drug abuse. Crystal Meth. Anyways, he got released after a few weeks, and has been sent to rehab/rehospitalization twice more since then. And he just screwed himself over by doing it again.

I dunno what to do . I mean, I care about him more than most anyone else in the world. But...help >_<. I've already had a friend die of an overdose, and I don't want to lose Lance either. He wrote me a letter saying he knew he was being stupid, blah blah blah. But...I have no idea how to respond to it.

Help?

[foogie]

there's not much you can do but give him support. it's good he realizes that what he's doing is bad, but it's up to him to make it right... just help him try to work things out, support him, talk to him, let him know you're worried about him. let him know you want to help him; whether this means going with him to rehab sessions or anything. no one likes to be alone for these things.

[414de7fe6]

Support, yes. But kind, caring, nurturing support? Fuck no.

Let him know he's abusing something that could very well kill him or damage his intellectual capacity later on in life. Let him know he's an absolute idiot for doing so, and keep on reminding him that. Crack witty puns and/or tease him about it. Eventually, he'll come to loathe either you or the drug, and if it's either, then you win. A, because he's no longer your problem, or B, where he quits the drug entirely and goes cold-turkey with the willpower to keep it that way.

You can't reinforce someone else's willpower with your own. What they want to do is what they want to do. You can severely disagree the actions he does and make him completely aware of the fact, or you can shower him with situational love and attention (ie, pity) which will make him continue the drug more for that conditional love all over again.

[Christopher Robin]

I say tough love... tell him you'll cut off contact if he doesn't stop being stupid... Or just have him move in with you? So you can keep an eye on him?

[Regental]

You can't make someone quit. It's entirely up to them, period.

[Bão]

You can't make someone quit. It's entirely up to them, period.

But you can help them go through the process of going through this tough time. Just keep givin' the love. If he realizes that his friends and family are there to support him 100% on his decision of a drug-free life, he may attempt to work harder. Have you tried contacting Evan?

[Regental]

Sure you can help, but are you entirely sure this person wants to quit? If he does, sure help him every stop along the way, which I agree is the best thing since CM is a horrible drug. But if he doesn't want to quit, there's no point in helping him.

[414de7fe6]

But you can help them go through the process of going through this tough time. Just keep givin' the love. If he realizes that his friends and family are there to support him 100% on his decision of a drug-free life, he may attempt to work harder. Have you tried contacting Evan?

No, he won't. He clearly knows already his family and friends care, he's been through rehab once. Now he's being an asshole and doing it again for the conditional love, if you don't give it to him this time, he'll stop in his tracks.

[Regental]

How do you know he's doing it for the attention? You don't this person or the case involved.

[414de7fe6]

Basic human psychology, and common sense.

If you read up about the psychological effects of methamphetamine, then it'll become significantly clearer. And besides, humans are so predictable. Drug abusers are already selfish enough as is, why give them the benefit of the doubt?

[hoju]

I agree with Euphoria.

And if your friend wants to keep on going let him, then he'll see his wrongs and regret it.

Actually, you should tell him that, keep going and he'll regret it, he might say something like, "I know" or "I don't care"
Or something of similar context, but just let him do that

Another thing I'm curious about, why did he get so depressed, as you've said, after that friend left?

Edit: There's no need to worry about a person like that who doesn't want to be bothered and is stubborn, and I say this because I'm stubborn myself

Edited by hoju, 09 December 2006 - 06:30 AM.

[Regental]

Many people are addicted to drugs Euphoria, you cannot deny that. Sometimes it just is that hard to kick the habit, many people go in and out of rehab all the time.

[hoju]

Many people are addicted to drugs Euphoria, you cannot deny that. Sometimes it just is that hard to kick the habit, many people go in and out of rehab all the time.

But do you really think he's 'only' doing it because he's hooked on it?

[Regental]

Well I don't know the case at hand, so I don't know this individually personally, but it sounds like he is addicted to this drug, or he could possibly just enjoy it. I wouldn't say he was doing it for the sake of it or because of peer pressure.

[hoju]

Well from the way you were talking before, you were talking as if he was only doing this because of an addiction.

[414de7fe6]

Regardless, he made a stupid choice and should live out the consequences of it. If the consequence is being shunned from society and losing friends/family, then so be it.

I have no pity for those who abuse drugs which are there to help.

[Greenstranger]

Basic human psychology, and common sense.

If you read up about the psychological effects of methamphetamine, then it'll become significantly clearer. And besides, humans are so predictable. Drug abusers are already selfish enough as is, why give them the benefit of the doubt?

Euphoria is right.
I'm a soon to be psychology PHD
It's basic human instinct to want to stop something if it's making you feel worse, so you have to make his addiction seem painful.
Every time he takes crystal meth, he feels relief. So you have to not let him have freedom. Keeping him in a safe place and not letting him leave will
prevent him from doing it, though it will be painful for him.

[pyke]

No, he won't. He clearly knows already his family and friends care, he's been through rehab once. Now he's being an asshole and doing it again for the conditional love, if you don't give it to him this time, he'll stop in his tracks.

Or just spin out of control and end up killing himself with the drugs...

Whatever. Show your support the option on going drug free, but don't become his crutch.

[{//Asia]

Hummm, thanks for the advice guys :]
I've been giving him the tough love thing for the past week and a half, and it seems to be helping a little =//. He's a strange guy, Lance is. I dunno if he is doing it for attention or not, but it doesn't seem like that -shrug-. No one gave him any attention last time either, so I dunno. He already got shunned out by his friends, his mom kicked him out and his best friend moved away, so -shrugs-.

[Regental]

Seems like he's using it for confidence boosting or pain relief. Either way, there are more constructive ways of going about your life and improving it.