18 replies to this topic

[travis]

Our assignment was to write about the topic that most needed to be understood to better understand the lives of teenagers. Out class voted on peer pressure and self esteem, two great ideas to focus on. Our instructor told us to pick and write on one or the other , but I was unable to choose. I decided to write on both of them because they are inseparably connected. Out self esteem, or lack thereof, causes us to listen to the deceitful whispers of peer pressure. In turn we let this peer pressure also mold the perception of how we see our self. In the never ending search for acceptance, this unhealthy relationship between peer pressure and self esteem brings many doubts and trials to teens.

Everyone needs to have friends. Often times we mistake who our true allies are. We feel the need to search for acceptance, rather than accepting who we really are. We won't listen to our hearts telling us that we are unique and special. Instead we see movies and magazines that tell us that we aren't good enough. They try to convince us that we are inferior. We believe them.

We cannot be blamed for comparing ourselves to others. We were raised in a society that taught us to think this way. Our first days of kindergarten embedded in us a sense of inadequacy. We didn't have the coolest backpack, couldn't count to one hundred, and worst of all we had t ride the bus to school. Over the years the class system grew and the "popular" people rose above the rest, and most others tried to be like them. We desperately want to be accepted. Peer pressure takes advantage of our desire for acceptance by enticing us to cheat, lie,shoplift, drink, smoke, have sex, or whatever other activities help others to supposedly like us better. We need to learn to accept others for who they are, but more importantly we need to accept ourselves. We can't always compare ourselves to the jock, cheerleader, or 4.0 genius. We need t bring our inner abilities and talents out into the open and not be afraid to share them. Maybe our heroes should be the small nerdy kid (Billy) on the track team. Unlike the popular football players who date the cheerleaders and go to parties every weekend, Billy usually keeps to himself. He isn't on track to impress others, he just likes to run and it makes him feel good others poke fun cause he is slow, but Billy doesn't mind coming in last every race, minutes behind the leaders. He always tries his hardest and that is good enough for him. He has learned that acceptance is something that comes from within, and self esteem originates from nowhere else but oneself. The ironic thing about Billy is that even without all the money, popularity, girls and social life, he has the greatest self esteem of all.


Dallin Henrie, 2002.


Discuss.

[Jakerz]

Nicely said, I agree with every word there Shame other people didn't think like that. I know a lot of really nice girls that a lot of guys would be interested in, but they're not because the girl thinks she needs to dress or look a certain way just because of other people/media, changes her personality.

Good topic to choose.

[travis]

+plz know I DIDN'T write this. The author is cited.

[sonic]

+plz know I DIDN'T write this. The author is cited.

Honestly travis, anyone who knows you would know you didn't write that.
Just kidding pookiebear

[Lemonblood]

Our assignment was to write about the topic that most needed to be understood to better understand the lives of teenagers. Out class voted on peer pressure and self esteem, two great ideas to focus on.

God knows how much I disagree.

[Just Another User]

Many people blame peer pressure for mistakes they've made in the past, like smoking, or doing drugs etc. The fact is quite often it's just used as a scape goat, as the majority of the people doing this knew what they were getting into making friends with those kinds of people in the first place and so had obviously accepted the high likelyhood they would get into it themselves. If i thought smoking was cool then i'd go and take it up and possibly become friends with the people i thought were cool, they didn't pressure me into it as i could quite easily have thought smoking isn't cool and gone and done something else. People have their own minds and claiming they were peer pressured into something is often just an excuse.

Moving on to self esteem, not everyone is equal, not everyone is particularly bright or talented or good looking so the idea to say that we need to drop these comparisons and realise we are special in ourselves is ludicrous. People are good at different things, some people are good at multiple things and some people just arn't as good as people at things. The ones that are good get paid the most and they get the most interesting opportunities wheras the people that don't get worse jobs and less opportunities. This doesn't mean you can't be happy or you can't like yourself, it's not your fault if you naturally suck at something, it's about the effort that you put in and being pleased with yourself when you make progress. Comparing yourself to others can help you improve by focusing on someone you aspire to and working your way up there. Self esteem is something you have to build yourself, ignoring what people trying to put you down say and realising these people are infact more desperate than you are, they rely on others to feel good about themselves!

In conclusion, you are yourself, not what someone else thinks you are and no matter what people say if you are happy with yourself then you will be happy in the things that you do and that my friends is a whole lot more than some people can say they are!

Remember, it's better to be hated for who you are than loved for someone that you are not.

Edited by Just Another User, 28 August 2008 - 07:46 AM.

[Sida]

I think the issue of self esteem is largly down to the fact that we pay more attention to what we can't do than what we can. If there's something we're good at, and have been for a long time, that tends to become part of our life. We know we can do it, and won't think too hard on the subject. However when we see someone who does something we wished we could do, we pay much more attention to it as it's not something we see quite as often.

For example someone who is good at programming will probably know they are atleast decent. Chances are they've done it for a while and are just used to the fact. Yet seeing someone draw something amazing would probably bring on thoughts such as "I wish I could draw like that, why can't I draw well " and this thought overpowers the things they're good, especially as people generally don't sit thinking "I am awesome at programming" everyday of their lives. This may not seem like much, but when you consider this happening everyday with an unlimited amount of things, even probably without us knowing, the effect can become much stronger.

[Amagius]

How did centuries of civilization not succumb to comparing themselves to others? I suppose my point is that throughout each type of stratification, like class, feudalism, etc., comparison has been the tool with which we come to understand our self. I wish I knew what made our generation different on issues of self esteem and such, or if there even is one, but I don't think that making comparisons are avoidable or the true problem.

The ones that are good get paid the most and they get the most interesting opportunities wheras the people that don't get worse jobs and less opportunities. This doesn't mean you can't be happy or you can't like yourself, it's not your fault if you naturally suck at something, it's about the effort that you put in and being pleased with yourself when you make progress. Comparing yourself to others can help you improve by focusing on someone you aspire to and working your way up there.

So, we as a society, are a meritocracy? Do you REALLY believe that?

[Just Another User]

So, we as a society, are a meritocracy? Do you REALLY believe that?

That is the basis off which our society functions. Obviously there are many anomalies, such as people born into riches and corrupt members of organisations but all in all if you're born at the bottom you can work your way to the top in a totally honest manor off your own back.

[Sida]

That is the basis off which our society functions. Obviously there are many anomalies, such as people born into riches and corrupt members of organisations but all in all if you're born at the bottom you can work your way to the top in a totally honest manor off your own back.

Homeless people can't get jobs because they have no address

[Just Another User]

Homeless people can't get jobs because they have no address

Dude, they sell big issue

[Frizzle]

What I find funny is that many people value hard-work and so forth, but many people turn to and makes x5 as much as anyone with a 9-5 job and because of the society we live in, these values that we worked so hard for have slowly been diminished until that we have "celebrities" that contribute nothing to society fucking over what, decades? Yet the hard working slaves of society, usually end up with nothing. Although to be fair, this situation has been over used through history, from kings and Queens, to dictators and rulers.

[sonic]

Ok I guess I could give a real response.

I was listening to a country song, and I don't remember the title or who sings it but it was talking about how when they grew up not everyone made the football team, there wasn't self esteem building classes, and not everyone had a ton of friends in high school, they had lead paint on their toys but for the most part everyone turned out alright.

Kinda makes me sick that society is a soft as it is. Throws off all of that natural selection stuff.
We need bullies and Beautiful people (like me )
And we need ugly fatsos like Travis.
It is what makes gravity work. If no one stole anyones lunch money then we would all float away cause no gravity.

Plus like Kat Williams said "How can I fuck up your self-esteem? Its called esteem of your mother fucking self simple bitch! How can I affect how you feel about you!"

[travis]

...-sigh-
was that really necessary josh?

[sonic]

...-sigh-
was that really necessary josh?

Is the running of the bulls necessary?
Is p0rn necessary?
I ask you sir, are YOU necassary

[Frizzle]

Results 1 - 10 of about 578,000 for sonic is a retard. (0.31 seconds)

Yes.

[Amagius]

That is the basis off which our society functions. Obviously there are many anomalies, such as people born into riches and corrupt members of organisations but all in all if you're born at the bottom you can work your way to the top in a totally honest manor off your own back.

More naive American ideology than truth.

How does one define hard work? For the millions of people in the middle class, working over forty hours is not seldom. Do you suppose that the top fifth of income groups, who happen to carry around fifty percent of total income each year, work erratically longer hours? Do those who happen to exist in this top fifth income group provide more for the functionality our society, really? These business men, at most, are just as important as our trash collectors who keep our cities clean, yet the trash collectors average around $50,000 nationally. Do these businessmen who exist in the top fifth income group happen to be more intelligent? I have no statistic to prove how stupid businessmen are, but they are rich because they exploit and capitalize upon people--not because they work harder or provide more for society.

Social darwinism is engrained in the American value system, but does that make it real? There is no doubt of class mobility, but to what degree? Does that small margin truly toe the line with our concept of merit? I don't think so.

[sonic]

Results 1 - 10 of about 578,000 for sonic is a retard. (0.31 seconds)

Yes.

Results 1 - 10 of about 1,290 for Frizzle sucks balls. (0.37 seconds)

[Frizzle]

I win on both counts.