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How long do I have to wait?


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#1 Rambo

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Posted 12 July 2009 - 09:34 AM

Seriously? As many of you know me and the partner split up about 7-8 weeks ago.

My feelings for him are still as real as they were when I was with him, and I miss him a lot. It's really starting to affect me lately health wise and it's getting to the stage where I am constantly opening my phone and looking at the picture of him.

Love is never an easy thing to give up, I guess :(

Sorry, I just needed to vent. I needed to get it out of my head and here was the only solution.

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    #2 ShadowLink64

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 01:53 PM

    I don't know. I tend to stay away from this relationship bullshit completely now because it eventually ruins people's lives, and makes them miserable and bitter. :D Also, the only ones I can trust these days are my best friends. <_<

    Not to mention, I don't feeling like caring for someone else.

    (Guess I didn't help, lol.)

    #3 Rambo

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 01:55 PM

    Like I said, it was somewhere to vent so I wasn't expecting help.

    But yes, relationships do tend to ruin peoples lives. This one has hurt mine and has affected my health a little too.

    #4 Hydrogen

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 01:56 PM

    I don't know. I tend to stay away from this relationship bullshit completely now because it eventually ruins people's lives, and makes them miserable and bitter. :D Also, the only ones I can trust these days are my best friends. <_<

    Not to mention, I don't feeling like caring for someone else.

    (Guess I didn't help, lol.)

    A relationship is a really soothing thing to be a part of. You just have to find the right person. Don't be afraid to love :p.

    #5 Rambo

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 01:58 PM

    A relationship is a really soothing thing to be a part of. You just have to find the right person. Don't be afraid to love :p .


    Well I thought I would've been with my partner for a little longer than the 5 months it lasted. Although to be fair, in our relation there was another guy who he was with for three years and I can understand why he wants to be single after he broke up with him a week before me.

    #6 ShadowLink64

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 03:20 PM

    A relationship is a really soothing thing to be a part of. You just have to find the right person. Don't be afraid to love :p .

    I find living by myself to be quite soothing, thank you very much. :D

    Well I thought I would've been with my partner for a little longer than the 5 months it lasted. Although to be fair, in our relation there was another guy who he was with for three years and I can understand why he wants to be single after he broke up with him a week before me.


    It's tough. Sometimes I don't understand other people. But wait, he was also seeing another guy at the same time? O_o

    #7 jcrdude

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 03:28 PM

    I find living by myself to be quite soothing, thank you very much. :D


    I feel you on this one, actually. I loved every second of freedom that I had available to me. When I lived on my own, it was nice to do what I wanted, when I wanted.

    Ended up being "not much" often due to depression, but it was nice.


    ****

    Now on topic: My friend was hung up on a girl after she dumped him for years. He's only gotten over her in the past year or so. He "moved on" in the sense of getting into other relationships, but every time he saw her or talked to her, he would remind her of how much he still loved her. It took almost two years of not seeing her plus being in another relationship to finally get over it.

    There's no set time for how long it will take to ACTUALLY take to get over a relationship, but if you keep plugging away, eventually time should heal the wound.

    I hate to say it, but in all honesty, the best way I've seen to get over someone is to cut ties... at least for a while. After time does her job, there may be lingering feelings, but the majority of them should end up being directed elsewhere.

    Hope I helped, even if it was a little bit.

    #8 NinjaHax

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 03:39 PM

    :( Don't worry there are more fish in the sea, as they say. ;)
    :) Just remember its a part of the game of life, which means you win some and you lose some if you catch my drift. :p
    :whistling: I had a girlfriend for about 6 years and I had to break up with her because she was with like 4 other guys. :(
    :( I know it hurts, but remember just keep on moving forward and never look back. :)

    #9 kuwaz

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 03:55 PM

    Like I said, it was somewhere to vent so I wasn't expecting help.

    But yes, relationships do tend to ruin peoples lives. This one has hurt mine and has affected my health a little too.


    Um... wassup? Interesting signature.

    :( Don't worry there are more fish in the sea, as they say. ;)
    :) Just remember its a part of the game of life, which means you win some and you lose some if you catch my drift. :p
    :whistling: I had a girlfriend for about 6 years and I had to break up with her because she was with like 4 other guys. :(
    :( I know it hurts, but remember just keep on moving forward and never look back. :)


    Six years? How old are you? Four guys? How old is she? O_o

    Edited by channel_49, 12 July 2009 - 03:56 PM.


    #10 AltoSaotome

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 07:09 PM

    Hey there, cheer up! Things like these happen to good people. It may hurt now, and may still hurt tomorrow or maybe next week but knowing that you can love someone to that extent is nothing great accomplishment for yourself. I'm sure that the next guy that comes down the road will be fortunate to have you! For now, dust yourself off, and take your time to get over this person. You'll be okay! Don't succumb to the pain. Life is full of painful experiences, but you'll need to learn how to come back from these pains in order for one's self to truly enjoy life. You'll be fine! It's normal for a heartbroken person to do things like look at a previous loves pictures and reminisce. It's part of your recovery process. Things like getting over a previous love isn't easy. Just take things slow and let time take it's course! You'll be fine! Don't let other people say otherwise! You'll be fine! ^_^

    Oh, excuse me. "nothing BUT a great accomplishment for yourself" That's for the second sentence up there ^_^

    #11 pyke

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 07:37 PM

    There isn't an expiration date on this stuff. Keep your head up and best of luck with it all.

    #12 Vegas

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 08:29 PM

    I don't think theres a cookie cut advice. Everyone deals with it differently.

    My advice is to just try and accept it. Definitely easier said than done ofcourse.
    Stuff that should majorly help-
    DELETE OR THROWAWAY stuff that hold sentimental value of that person.
    i.e. text messeges, gifts, delete off msn.

    from experience.

    #13 Jake

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 08:44 PM

    Hurray for 16 year old party love. Anyways sorry things didn't work out, I never am active on here so I wouldn't really know, but I never knew you were gay aswell. Ditch relationships and look for a quick rebound?

    #14 NinjaHax

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 09:05 PM

    Um... wassup? Interesting signature.



    Six years? How old are you? Four guys? How old is she? O_o


    I was with her since 4th grade lol, I used to call her everyday. But it seemed that she was always hid something. I've kept the promise that we made 'til she told me she was with four other guys already. We've made a promise not to see anyone else that time, and after that I kind of drifted apart from everyone else. I met better friends during a couple of days later and it made me a little better. I know I am a little too forgiving, too soft, also trying to commit suicide five times wasn't really smart because of all the crap that happened in the past and that had to happen lol.

    we are both 16 she turns 16 at august 8 I think, we're great friends now lol.

    Edited by NinjaHax, 12 July 2009 - 09:07 PM.


    #15 CubexD

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 09:20 PM

    I guess I'll tell you a secret. Something that will make you feel better every time, all the time...you ready...?

    Spoiler


    PLZ DUN TELL ANYONE DA SECRETZOR!

    #16 Jake

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 09:32 PM

    I was with her since 4th grade lol, I used to call her everyday. But it seemed that she was always hid something. I've kept the promise that we made 'til she told me she was with four other guys already. We've made a promise not to see anyone else that time, and after that I kind of drifted apart from everyone else. I met better friends during a couple of days later and it made me a little better. I know I am a little too forgiving, too soft, also trying to commit suicide five times wasn't really smart because of all the crap that happened in the past and that had to happen lol.

    we are both 16 she turns 16 at august 8 I think, we're great friends now lol.


    Posted Image


    EDIT:

    I guess I'll tell you a secret. Something that will make you feel better every time, all the time...you ready...?

    Spoiler


    PLZ DUN TELL ANYONE DA SECRETZOR!


    You got it all wrong, that's how you get your mean alcoholics. Drinking is to have fun, not to wash all of your sad problems away.

    Edited by Jake, 12 July 2009 - 09:41 PM.


    #17 kuwaz

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    Posted 12 July 2009 - 10:47 PM

    I was with her since 4th grade lol, I used to call her everyday. But it seemed that she was always hid something. I've kept the promise that we made 'til she told me she was with four other guys already. We've made a promise not to see anyone else that time, and after that I kind of drifted apart from everyone else. I met better friends during a couple of days later and it made me a little better. I know I am a little too forgiving, too soft, also trying to commit suicide five times wasn't really smart because of all the crap that happened in the past and that had to happen lol.

    we are both 16 she turns 16 at august 8 I think, we're great friends now lol.


    Okay, that's almost weird being a relationship since the 4th grade... a lot of
    pretty for such a young age O_o. Well, if shes been with four other guys
    behind your back, then you're way too soft my friend. In other news... probably
    best to dump that, I mean... 4 guys before the age of 16 doesn't sound
    too appealing if you ask me :o, seeing you're asian also >.>

    #18 Rambo

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    Posted 13 July 2009 - 08:20 AM

    I find living by myself to be quite soothing, thank you very much. :D



    It's tough. Sometimes I don't understand other people. But wait, he was also seeing another guy at the same time? O_o


    Yep, he was with another guy for 3 years.. However their relationship was dwindling and we started off as friends but then things progressed.

    I feel you on this one, actually. I loved every second of freedom that I had available to me. When I lived on my own, it was nice to do what I wanted, when I wanted.

    Ended up being "not much" often due to depression, but it was nice.


    ****

    Now on topic: My friend was hung up on a girl after she dumped him for years. He's only gotten over her in the past year or so. He "moved on" in the sense of getting into other relationships, but every time he saw her or talked to her, he would remind her of how much he still loved her. It took almost two years of not seeing her plus being in another relationship to finally get over it.

    There's no set time for how long it will take to ACTUALLY take to get over a relationship, but if you keep plugging away, eventually time should heal the wound.

    I hate to say it, but in all honesty, the best way I've seen to get over someone is to cut ties... at least for a while. After time does her job, there may be lingering feelings, but the majority of them should end up being directed elsewhere.

    Hope I helped, even if it was a little bit.


    We haven't met up with each other since he split up with me. Okay, we've texted, but not to the extent we use to. He always use to end his texts with 'Jx' then when we did text it was just 'J' however, last week he started ending them with 'Jx' again and thus I was getting confused.

    I still love him and I still want to be with him, but how long does he want to be single for till he wants a boyfriend.. and will he want to come back to me? Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he had feelings for me, yet he just wants to be single...


    Hey there, cheer up! Things like these happen to good people. It may hurt now, and may still hurt tomorrow or maybe next week but knowing that you can love someone to that extent is nothing great accomplishment for yourself. I'm sure that the next guy that comes down the road will be fortunate to have you! For now, dust yourself off, and take your time to get over this person. You'll be okay! Don't succumb to the pain. Life is full of painful experiences, but you'll need to learn how to come back from these pains in order for one's self to truly enjoy life. You'll be fine! It's normal for a heartbroken person to do things like look at a previous loves pictures and reminisce. It's part of your recovery process. Things like getting over a previous love isn't easy. Just take things slow and let time take it's course! You'll be fine! Don't let other people say otherwise! You'll be fine! ^_^

    Oh, excuse me. "nothing BUT a great accomplishment for yourself" That's for the second sentence up there ^_^


    I'm taking my time, considerably. I've thrown myself into my job full-time now just to keep myself busy so I don't think about him, however on the evenings/before I go to bed the thoughts come to me and I miss him terribly. Especially on the nights, as we use to spend a considerable amount of time together on the night (due to each others working hours).

    There isn't an expiration date on this stuff. Keep your head up and best of luck with it all.


    Thanks Brandon.

    I don't think theres a cookie cut advice. Everyone deals with it differently.

    My advice is to just try and accept it. Definitely easier said than done ofcourse.
    Stuff that should majorly help-
    DELETE OR THROWAWAY stuff that hold sentimental value of that person.
    i.e. text messeges, gifts, delete off msn.

    from experience.


    I don't really want to cut ties with him. Also, it's pretty hard to forget somethings: Warwick Castle (the advert is on television at the moment), camping, pubs, dinners, cinema etc. Everything I normally do reminds me of him, so its quite hard to cut off things when I can't.

    Hurray for 16 year old party love. Anyways sorry things didn't work out, I never am active on here so I wouldn't really know, but I never knew you were gay aswell. Ditch relationships and look for a quick rebound?


    I am 20. No comment on the rebounds.

    I guess I'll tell you a secret. Something that will make you feel better every time, all the time...you ready...?

    Spoiler


    PLZ DUN TELL ANYONE DA SECRETZOR!


    Already on it, although it doesn't really help.

    Um... wassup? Interesting signature.


    Not liking my signature? :(

    #19 NinjaHax

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    Posted 13 July 2009 - 04:58 PM

    Okay, that's almost weird being a relationship since the 4th grade... a lot of
    pretty for such a young age O_o . Well, if shes been with four other guys
    behind your back, then you're way too soft my friend. In other news... probably
    best to dump that, I mean... 4 guys before the age of 16 doesn't sound
    too appealing if you ask me :o , seeing you're asian also >.>


    I know I am too forgiving, but hearing the sadness of her voice and telling the truth about it, she was very sincere about breaking a promise that we made each other. There was nothing else to tell her but, "It's ok, there's nothing else a person can do right? I've kept my promise 'til the end of our relationship, it doesn't really matter anyway." Before I hung up she was crying.

    It really hurt since that was the one that kind of hurt me a lot. My past didn't matter before that and when that happened I realized that my entire life was fucked up already. I tried to end it five different times but it wasn't successful, so I decided to lock my heart to stop someone from hurting me any longer and walk this path alone.

    Edited by NinjaHax, 13 July 2009 - 05:01 PM.


    #20 Vegas

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    Posted 13 July 2009 - 06:15 PM

    Well some things can be worked out, some can't.

    This unemotionally unstable girl I went out with in the past year(think I made a thread, the 2 timing one) has been constantly on and off with him. Every couple of weeks she'll have a meltdown and be crying and shit cuz he'll break up with her then eventually hook back up again cuz she can't let go. Everyone who knows them knows that type of relationship is a shamble....

    many fish in the sea. i didn't think i'd get over my last one even though I was the douche, but i think i did.

    gotta pick your poison, letting go and also not getting over it are both shitty to go through.

    #21 Bryan

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    Posted 14 July 2009 - 12:01 AM

    I know I am too forgiving, but hearing the sadness of her voice and telling the truth about it, she was very sincere about breaking a promise that we made each other. There was nothing else to tell her but, "It's ok, there's nothing else a person can do right? I've kept my promise 'til the end of our relationship, it doesn't really matter anyway." Before I hung up she was crying.

    It really hurt since that was the one that kind of hurt me a lot. My past didn't matter before that and when that happened I realized that my entire life was fucked up already. I tried to end it five different times but it wasn't successful, so I decided to lock my heart to stop someone from hurting me any longer and walk this path alone.

    Really now? You need to be happy. You're a young kid. Quit complaining about how hard life is and quit saying you tried to end it. It's stupid. If you want to kill yourself there's many ways to do it. You'd think you'd learn from your first mistake. But five fucking times? At your age? Seriously you need to get some help kid.

    @Ian: The last girl I was with, I was 'her first'. We broke up because she 'wanted to be single'. We started seeing each other again 3 months later. I broke it off because it wasn't how it used to be. I then got over her (took a couple months) and am now seeing the most amazing person ever. Turns out, she is still in love with me. Only I'm not.

    Time will work out the problems, just don't fret about it too much.

    #22 Rambo

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    Posted 14 July 2009 - 01:01 AM

    Really now? You need to be happy. You're a young kid. Quit complaining about how hard life is and quit saying you tried to end it. It's stupid. If you want to kill yourself there's many ways to do it. You'd think you'd learn from your first mistake. But five fucking times? At your age? Seriously you need to get some help kid.

    @Ian: The last girl I was with, I was 'her first'. We broke up because she 'wanted to be single'. We started seeing each other again 3 months later. I broke it off because it wasn't how it used to be. I then got over her (took a couple months) and am now seeing the most amazing person ever. Turns out, she is still in love with me. Only I'm not.

    Time will work out the problems, just don't fret about it too much.


    Thanks Bryan. I'll have to just keep myself preoccupied and keep these thoughts are away. Good thing I am learning Python then I guess.

    #23 ShadowLink64

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    Posted 14 July 2009 - 01:24 AM

    Thanks Bryan. I'll have to just keep myself preoccupied and keep these thoughts are away. Good thing I am learning Python then I guess.


    Yeah. :D When Hydro gets things set up, then we can show you how to go about making projects and stuff. :D

    #24 nox

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    Posted 15 July 2009 - 05:34 PM

    Delete his picture and remove his contact info from your phone

    #25 shamwow

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    Posted 16 July 2009 - 10:03 AM

    You could just be friends with him and hang out with him to forget about your breakup. Even if you guys are technically not in a relationship, that doesn't mean that you two can't have fun together and see each other. Invite him to the movies, go to dinner with him. He will soon realize what a great partner you were and tell you why he wants to be single. or if you're not interested, reject his offer and leave him WANTING MOREZ!!1!

    btw, "Can we talk?" and things that remind him about the past are not a good way to go. So are awkward silences..


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