Rants of a twenty something Okie.

I made a block that I might not be potentially ashamed to share with my peers in the future...
Oh, what's neocodex?....

I hope offense is taken by that...

But

https://secularfuzz.wordpress.com/


Is my blog.

I will be updating from there from here on out.
Thanks for your support here.

So, here comes another rant.

I work in law enforcement... and in a society where we don't make mental health a priority in heath care, we are going to see a lot of mentally ill people cycling through the criminal justice system. Mental health needs to be a priority, and the stigma surrounding those words needs to die. If people are ashamed to admit they have an illness, they are not likely to seek help for it.

I live in Oklahoma. We used to have homes, for lack of a more precise term, where people who had issues functioning independently, due to mental capacity or incapability, could live. People were put there by the state, voluntarily, or by friends or loved ones. Habitual criminal offenders with mental disorders were given a place to stay to keep them off the street and out of lifestyles that they would be taken advantage of in.
Due to budget issues, these places are no more. Funding for mental health programs have dried up. There are relatively few places in the state that provide shelter or counseling for the mentally ill for free or little cost. Those places are severely under staffed and in severe lack of resources. For example, a city of 550,000 people has a mental health screening and intake with only 20 beds available at any given time.
When the state shut down these facilities, there was no after care for those in their care. Unless a family member has the financial resources to get a private firm to care for their loved one, they were simply put on the street. There was a guise of a rehabilitation program, but it was a joke. A heavy number of those who benefited from the states programs found themselves homeless, wandering the streets, soliciting food and money from strangers, getting into trouble.
For example, I live and work in the downtown area of a large city... Almost all of the free/low cost services, such as the Salvation Army, Day Center for the Homeless, John 3:16 Mission, and several state funded social services, are located downtown. So naturally, there is a visible homeless population in downtown... There is a gas station chain that has taken the act of putting orders on the homeless for trespassing. They have documentation on these individuals that they do no make purchases, but they sleep in the bathrooms and solicit other paying patrons... One said homeless woman has been arrested at least 20 times in my two career in law enforcement for trespassing at ONE of these gas stations, and mind you, there is one on nearly every block. Each time she is booked in, she is released by a special program for the mentally ill... she doesn't pay fines, doesn't show up for court, gets a warrant... So next time she trespasses, she goes to jail on that and a warrant... It stacks. These charges never amount to a felony, just a series of misdemeanors and court costs, which being mentally ill and homeless, she will never pay.

This example is a clear problem with our system. We are treating mental illness like a crime in our culture. These people need help. They go to places that are warm to sleep. That is common sense. They go to places with heavy traffic to ask for help. This is also common sense. By putting those with mental illness into a jail setting, we are not coming close to addressing their needs, but merely providing them with a new set of problems that they are not mentally equipped to deal with.

Another huge problem I see with mental health and criminal activity - those individuals with severe mental disorders such as manic depressive, paranoid, schizophrenics - can not be housed with other inmates in an open, general population setting. The criminal justice system was not developed to treat mental illness, so often these mental disorders go without being diagnosed or they are untreated. In the event severe mental issues are detected in the criminal justice system, these individuals are usually isolated from contact with other offenders, and have minimal contact with staff... Common sense and history tells us that isolation and solitary confinement only exacerbates mental illness... These individuals become worse, causing more issues with staff, and usually get charges added on to their simple trespass, such as assault on an officer...
Simple charges turn into felonies because jails are not equipped and trained to handle the influx of mentally ill individuals being funnel through their doors.

It seems to me that my state could do a lot more to reduce the number of mentally ill individuals in jail and prison.
Some counties have a mental health court that puts those with mental illness on a different scale than those without - but this doesn't solve a problem, it just deals with the consequence of a problem with alternative measures. These people still remain mentally ill and untreated, and often times are released back into the same communities the offend in...
It usually seen that if these offenders can get some stability and a schedule for their medication - the can become productive members of society - we see this in jails where mentally unstable individuals are put on a time clock of medication administered by the jail - and slowly, their mental issues become less prominent...

The largest provider of mental health services in Oklahoma is the Department of Corrections - does no one else see the problem there?
If we could find a way to assist the mentally ill before they are incarcerated, I think we could most certainly prevent it.
We need more community based programs to help identify the need, and more funding towards mental health housing and rehabilitation in order to prevent these illnesses from consuming more lives...

I don't have the answers, yet again, but these are things I spend my time thinking about.
It is all a stream of consciousness ramble...

Being a female in law enforcement, a male dominated field, I find myself facing challenges. I don't think they are the challenges one would expect. I haven't been passed by for awards, promotions, or assignments because I am a female. I make the same, and a little more than some of my coworkers. I am given the same opportunities as the guys, and I am greatly appreciative of this.
This issues I face are more cultural and societal than they are professional.
A lot of cops are very work oriented people - we spend long hours at work, molding our career, and building our future. We get married to the job... We see our coworkers more than our families.

So, being that the ratio of female to male employees in my organization is likely 1:20, I find myself surrounded by men daily. Of the women that work with me, once you rule out those who are not into men, those who are married, or those with 5 children, I am one of a few young, single women here. I get a lot of attention. I am not saying it isn't nice to be flirted with, but these men get ridiculous. Several of them are married and in relationships. They think because they have a badge and a gun that they are stud muffins. I don't get it. I don't act different in my personal life because of my career. I don't walk into the club and walk up to a couple and tell the guy is dancing with me whether she likes it or not, but that is the mentality some of these guys have.

I don't understand it. It usually doesn't bother me. I brush it off, haha, whatever guys... but when I am trying to do my job and be taken seriously, but I keep getting called "honey," "sweetie," "darlin'," & "sugar," - it enrages me. It is one thing for someone's grandma to call me those things, but when my peers, who should respect my position and authority are calling me those names, it feels degrading.

I am not one to label myself with "feminist" because I don't think any human right, or dignified request should be labeled as a term like that. I don't know if that makes sense... Kind of like I am not a "gay rights" activist, or a pro-choice proponent... I believe we all deserve respect and the right to live our lives on our terms, pending you don't infringe on the life of another living being...

I digressed again - but basically - I want to punch them in the face when they use these pet names for me.
What set me off on this rant is this:

Coworker sends out mass text: I need someone to cover X shift at X location.
I reply: What date is the shift.
Coworker: Later today. Who is this?
Me: *my name* I will take the shift.
Coworker: Thank you so much sweetie
Me: You're welcome (even though you called me fucking sweetie!)
Coworker: Anything I can do for you let me know ....

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Seriously... this guy has a girlfriend and 4 kids.
Some might say, oh he is just being nice or maybe he doesn't understand emoticons.
He was being overly nice and he knows what he was saying with that.

I won't ever be the girl that can't cut it with the boys, so I never report this stuff, but at the very least, when this stuff continues - which it always does - it is harassment.

If I say "hey man, don't wink at me like that" or "stop being flirty" - it gets ugly or confrontational.

I don't know that I want advice on this, but I really wanted to rant about it.

Thank you for listening.

Consider the idea that medication dependent children will grow up to be drug dependent adults.

Personally, I think with the passing of the Affordable Care Act, some positive changes were made.
Children can stay on their parents' insurance plans into their twenties now, versus moving out and being unprotected in the event of illness or injury - this is a step in the right direction...but what happens when they reach that point where they are no longer covered by the ACA - and they are working to pay the bills, and they get sick... Well, they should have purchased insurance, you say. It is the law now... Still, some young people can not afford to rent their own place, let alone have the "luxury" of health insurance. Young adults, without children, working, but still without insurance - it is a common scenario and it puts them in a very bad place... if they are sick or injured, it puts their entire future on the line. Even with insurance, if these individuals miss work due to an illness, there is no mandated sick leave for them. They can lose everything simply for being sick. That doesn't sound right... There needs to be some major discussion about the kinds of reforms we need on this subject.

But I digress.. back to the issue of medicated children.

We live in a culture full of parents that seek medication as an easy out for things that can be handled through natural practices. Often times parents let the media, gaming devices, or technology babysit their children to avoid the difficulties of the interactions.
For example - I know so many diagnosed & medicated ADHD that need no medication when they are engaged in things they enjoy like video games, shopping, leisure reading, journaling, even building computers, yet when they are to do something they do not want to do, like school work, they "can't sit still" and need their (insert medication here). Regarding the diagnosis and treatment of personality and behavioral disorders in children - If he doesn't do his homework, it is ADD. If he doesn't do his homework and says it is because he can't focus on it, it is ADHD. Either way, there is a medication for it.
Perhaps if there was nothing else to focus on, this wouldn't be an issue. Maybe if the internet was disconnected while he typed his paper, or his cell phone was in the other room, or maybe if there was a punishment for not completing assignments... I see parents that do not even explore those options, but simply head to the pharmacist and get him a pill to help him focus.
Some people have legitimate issues with attention deficit and medicine may be their only hope, and I am not shaming those people or degrading them. I have personally suffered from personality/behavioral issues myself, and I relate to the issue on that level.
It is just, I see so many parents jump on the "drug your kid" band wagon rather than seek counseling, therapies, or proper disciplines for behavioral issues. It is creating a culture, more so a generation, of medication dependent children that will grow into medication (drug) dependent adults.
If the message is to medicate yourself to be more focused, more productive, and to succeed...what happens when these medications are no longer covered under mom and dad's insurance and the once child is now left to find an alternative to that feeling...or they began to seek another kind of fix...

It might seem like a bizarre thought process to those who do not spend a lot of time around medicated adults, high adults, or addict adults... but we, me and those in my line of work, are seeing this trend. It is a side effect of the medication trend in parenting...

I just got off work and this was on my mind. It isn't as organized or as concise as I would like it to be, but I just wanted to get it out.

So, being as this is my first blog post... I will post some background...

I grew up very poor, on welfare, with a single mom, one of 3 kids, moved around alot, raped, molested, mentally abused, drugs in the home, criminal activity, filthy houses, roaches, dog feces covering the floor, no heat in winter....
I had about 2 friends all through high school, never went on one date, never had a boyfriend, no prom, went through a depression, attempted suicide, transferred schools, graduated.
After high school, in 2007, I moved 100 miles away from home as soon as I could.
I had a condo, a new car, enrolled in school, working making about 65k a year, and a blossoming social life. I was seeing a guy with marriage potential. In 2008, I fell down stairs, ruptured several discs, dislocated my pelvis, tore three muscles...
I lost everything, guy I was dating said it was too much, dropped out of school, and moved back home, to the same conditions as my child hood.
In the year or so of my injury, I was completely isolated from society minus the internet. I became very introverted, and insecure about my future. I had no friends, my family sincerely believed I was a pill addict and there was nothing wrong with me up until the day I met with a neurosurgeon. I had no one to talk to, nothing to do, and was left alone, unable to walk. I thought a lot about life during that time.
In November of 2009, I finally had a surgery to repair the damages in my back. I was released to work in the spring of 2010.
In 2011, I moved back to Tulsa, enrolled in college, was working, started paying off my debt. I lived alone, and did things alone.
This is when I realized that no one will make it better but me. No one was there for me during the worst times if my life. God laid it in no one's heart to check on me, to see if I needed anything, or even pay back the money they owed me. No one cared about what happened to me, except for me.
This is when I realized I was an atheist. I cultivated my political and religious beliefs during this time. I read a lot and did a lot of community service type things, exposing myself to a variety of sociological situations.
Between then and now, I paid off all my debt, got a college degree, began a career, bought a car, got my dream dog, got promoted, and bought a house. I did all of this on my own with no financial support and very little moral support from anyone.
So here I find myself an atheist, progressive, political minded, opinionated cop in Oklahoma.
Many of the social groups I find my self in for one of my life aspects, completely clashes with the other.
I find myself being too liberal to be a cop, to conservative to be an atheist, and overall too everything to be in a functioning romantic relationship.

There are a few revolving themes that are used as insults towards me when things don't go how others plan in my life...
1. I am too proud of my opinions. I do not let others change my mind.
2. I do not apologize when I offend others' beliefs.
3. As an atheist, I will be unlikely to find people that share my beliefs as a cop as well.
4. As a cop, I'll never see the good in people.
5. I expect people to be like I am when it comes to humanity and service to others.
6. I hold people more accountable than they hold themselves.
7. I am unafraid to state my opinion even if it's offensive or not if the majority and I'll willfully alienate myself defending what I believe.
I see some of these things as potentially bad, but I don't feel like I'm a bad person.
I'm 26... no kids, never married... and at the end if every dating excursion, there is a conversation about what is wrong... these things usually come full circle. I'm beginning to think it is me, not them.
I never want to be the girl that puts her whole world in the hands of another, and I feel like my strong will has put off a lot of people... I'm independent to a fault, I would say. I don't know how to back down.
I'm not sure what kind of input I'm seeking, but I mostly am going to start blogging so I can vent. This is much cheaper than therapy and more convenient for my schedule.

All comments are welcome. No negativity.