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The Story of how I Fractured my Foot

Posted by Plunk, 09 March 2014 · 605 views

It was about a week ago when I made a ridiculously stupid decision. I stepped out of the house, bringing the dogs out to do their business, when I noticed something that made me extremely excited. I got an idea, and decided to follow through on it. The snow and ice that had been on top of the trampoline had finally melted, leaving it ready for me to do super awesome flips and shit. I brought the dogs back inside, lit up a cigarette, and headed down to the trampoline.

Climbing aboard, lit cigarette in my mouth, I noticed that three or four of the springs were missing. No big deal, I know at least two were missing last summer, so it's probably the same number missing as before. I started bouncing, trying to get myself a ridiculous distance off the trampoline, getting ready to do the first front flip of a new year. I got myself about six feet off the trampoline, about ten feet off the ground, when I looked down and noticed that there was a problem.

At the edge of the mesh, close to where the springs connected to the elastic-like fabric of the trampoline, there was a large, thin tear around the edge, and it was starting to get worse. "Well, I guess I better bend my knees to take some of this impact, slow myself down, and get the fuck off here." I thought to myself in mid-air. As I came down, I bent my knees, tightened my lips to get a better hold of my cigarette, and waited until I hit the mesh, slowed down, and could get off.

Unfortunately, that moment never came.

Apparently, I'd torn the trampoline too much, and it'd had enough. As soon as my feet touched the mesh, I plowed through it, coming down about ten feet, landing on uneven, hard-packed ice, with the outer side of my left foot hitting a chunk of ice that was a good three inches higher than the rest of the area. This chunk of ice would be what caused the fracture. Also, on the way down, I had something slap me in the side of the face, and I had absolutely no idea at the time what it could have been.

Since my knees were bent, and not ready for such an extreme impact, they buckled as my feet hit ice, and I slammed into the ground at full speed. I lay on the ground, talking to myself. Saying such phrases as, "Well, this isn't good.", "I'm gonna feel that tomorrow... hell, I feel that now.", "I think my foot might be broken. Is my foot broken? It's probably broken.", and my favorite, "I'm just going to stay here until someone gets home, then they can come down here and carry me inside." After a good ten minutes or so, I finally stood up and started walking towards the house. On my way, I noticed something shiny sitting in the snow. It was one of the springs from the outer edge of the trampoline. I looked back and realized that the trampoline was around fifteen feet away. What had hit me in the face was most likely one of those springs.

I assume my foot was/is fractured as the first day there was nothing but a small, almost black bruise over the area, but on the next day, the bruising had spread to almost the entire top of my foot. There's also a ridiculous amount of pain any time I accidentally put weight on the outside of that foot. Needless to say, when I mentioned this to my mom and sisters while asking for a ride to the hospital to get it checked out, they replied, "Aw, don't worry about it, it's probably just sprained!" (They're always doing what's best for me, like when I blacked out and they refused to take me to the hospital, instead opting to take me to get my hair cut.)

So, that's the story of how I fractured my foot, a tale of terror, action, and intrigue.

Tomorrow, I'll upload a picture of the trampoline so you guys can see just how fucked it is. I'd do it now, but it's 1:30Am, so it's a bit dark.

I pictured the whole thing in my head and chuckled and cringed at the same time. I also feel like there should have been someone recording you so you could upload it to /r/wcgw


however I feel your pain, having fractured my ankle last year and was in a walking cast for 2 months D:

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Attached pics very much related.

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I felt like my leg was swelling with pain by just reading. Landing on ice from a 10 ft drop is no bueno.

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I injured my ankle playing Basketball my senior year and it was completely black and super swollen, I couldn't walk on it for a while and doctors recommended I use crutches and sleep with it elevated on pillows but yeah.. it was just a sprain :p So even though it feels worse, yours probably is too. I laughed at the cigarette bit, tell me, was it still in your mouth when you landed? Because that would almost make up for the epic fail!

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Yeah, it was still in my mouth when I landed. I finished smoking it before I got up. XD

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^Instant respect, "I'll just finish this cigarette here before I get up, even though I think I completely busted my leg. No worries." 

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