You are going to need to state your premise more clearly.
It seems as though you arguing that by using terms like strait, gay, bi and trans, we, and I include the population at large as you have, are somehow feeding in to the negative stereotypes applied by minority voices. And that is starting to sound like victim shaming.
Try telling a black person that calling another black man 'negro' is the reason that the police shoot first and ask questions later.
I won't even get in to the origins of the word negro, and how it was reclaimed by black folk after it was used as a tool of oppression. Fag is making a comeback in much the same way for the LBGT community.
Nah, that wasn't my premise. I am not talking sexual orientation, I am talking gender identity. I heard an LGBTQI pannel, and a this person was saying "I always fit in with the girls in my family more, I would like being in the kitchen rather than watching football." I was thinking, so watching football=being a man? Cooking=being a woman? When did we go back to the 1950s?