71 replies to this topic

[Coops]

I feel. When I worked at a call center, I bought eggs out of a vending machine and I got food poisoning.

Omg, eggs from a vending machine? That's a thing?

[Rogue]

Omg, eggs from a vending machine? That's a thing?

 

That's what I thought then I was like....... America!

[Coops]

Yeah they were hard boiled. there was also hot wings and sandwiches and muffins and stuff.

 

there WAS a full on cafeteria but the food was really expensive

Dang. I mean, I've seen sandwiches, Hot Pockets and burritos in ferry vending machines and in air port vending machines, but never eggs.

[Padme]

just read a thread on reddit about 'what secret do you know that could destroy another persons life' or something like that.

Majority of the comments and threads are about people cheating on their spouse and never telling them or they know someone who did.

 

TRUST NO ONE.

[Frizzle]

Irony

[Romy]

Irony

I'm dying.

 

 

 

On another note, you guys have an insane amount of insecurities between you.

Talk to someone.

[FelisNoctua]

If so, how did you feel? Did they found out? Did you say? Did they forgive?

 

Would you forgive an infidelity?

 

I cheated once when I was 17 and I felt like shit right away, I didn't tell them I cheated but I broke up a week later. I have been cheated on twice, though, and I found out the first time because of mutual friends and the second time because I was already suspecting something as off and they finally confessed. I feel like I deserve it, Karma comes back around! 

 

TLDL: For me, It depends on the relationship: why did infidelity occur? Is something missing that can be fixed, was it a horrible mistake (drunkenness) or a pattern of disrespect?

What do you feel like you deserve, though? I'm missing that part. You, want to cheat on them to get back at them? If that's the case, the relationship is soured and I recommend moving on. If both times you've been cheated on are one relationship that you're still in, yes, move on.

 

About mine:

Spoiler

1. The first time I was cheated on, high school, BF was away at band camp and made out with someone else. I wasn't super invested in the relationship (we weren't even sexual), and I didnr care. Relationship lasted nearly another 6 months.

2. The second time, the relationship itself was abusive, and he used cheating on me as mental abuse. My favorite was when we had sex on the couch, then he proceeded to tell me he'd had another woman in that same spot while I was at work. He used colorful language to describe it. The entire nature of the cheating made it unforgivable.

(Possible trigger warning)

Spoiler

"I f*d you on her stain"

3. I'm currently married (no, not to that guy), and am older and have friend with varying alternative relationships (one friend just 'married' her third husband. They're all very happy.) If my husband cheated on me I'd probably be more hurt that I wasn't invited to participate. I'd want us to talk about what he's lacking in the relationship and work towards making him sexually gratified. So, probably forgivable.

 

In the reverse, I required one HS bf to be satisfied that I would also have a GF. I decided this wasn't cheating. When DRAMA caused me to break up withher publicly, I continued to see her (cheating). I'm nor sorry for it. I chose the wrong one in that situation, and for who I was at the time, asking me to choose him over her was an attempt to own my sex.

 

I cheated on my then fiance (now husband) in a situation I do now regret. I'd just come out of the abusive relationship and was about to move across country to live with my probably-too-soon fiance. A wonderful older man had a thing for me, and I set up a date. He couldn't perform, but because I went there specifically TO cheat, it was cheating. I regret the intent and can't really justify it any way besides self-destruction, which I was prone to for years (in other ways) until counseling.

 

Cheating is a symptom that something is wrong, either with the cheater or the relationship. If it's wrong in the cheater it probably can't be fixed and they should be left, and hopefully they get help or grow up. If it's with the relationship, maybe it can be fixed, but it takes respect and work from both sides.

Philosophical question for all: Would you be ok with your SO rubbing tacos with another girl? Would you be more or less ok with it if they let you watch? 

From the other side, they tend NOT to be ok with it, even after saying they would be.

Also, if he wanted a male partner I couldn't be sexual party to, that would be more difficult to deal with, but I'd learn to. I love him for him, and if that's a part of him I can work with it. If that other dude moves in, they're splitting the chores though. One husband is messy enough.

I'll say this: In my opinion, cheating is not the worst thing that can happen to you in a relationship. Usually it is a myriad of other issues that pile on top of your partner playing 'hide the pickle' with someone else. People just focus on the ugly physicality of it because it's easy to. People ignore or play down the neglect, dishonesty, lack of communication, complacency, laziness, etc.

 

Exactly this.

Edited by FelisNoctua, 29 April 2016 - 08:46 AM.

[Tammy]

I've never cheated on anyone, the opportunity has never really presented itself but I don't think I would be capable of it if it did. I have been cheated on twice though, one was a long term bf who cheated on me with his co-worker, she was in an open relationship with her spouse. He became very obsessed with open relationships and threesomes for a while (that should have been a red flag) and then he ended up telling me about the cheating in order to end the relationship. The second was a guy I was with for about 6 months and he turned out to have another girlfriend the entire time we were together, I found out because a friend of mine also knows her and she connected the dots and told us both.

Edited by tammyisbored, 14 May 2016 - 12:33 PM.

[NapisaurusRex]

I don't really have the urge to talk about either of those things in detail, but I think the moment I fell in love with my current bf was on a long road trip. I looked at him and went "I ran out of things to read on my facebook. Can I use yours?" and he went sure, no problem, and started rattling off login info before deciding it'd be easier to just switch phones for a while.

[Jozie]

I have cheated on my ex, emotionally. He cheated on me physically. Forgiveness was not required since I was the one who walked away! However, if I would have stayed, I don't think he could have forgiven me, even though I could forgive him.

 

If my current S/O cheats on me physically, I can easily forgive that. What I cannot forgive, is emotional cheating. That calls for a break up! Or if physical cheating leads to an STD. Then no, I would not forgive him and I would leave in a heart beat!

[phoenix13]

I have never been cheated on nor have I cheated on anyone before. But I must say, I have thought about it but I always have held myself back from it.

[Sirius]

No to both. It's a shitty thing to do and I've seen the fallout from it with various friends

[wikkles]

My girlfriend of about a year and a half broke up with me about two weeks ago. Less than a few days after the break-up, she started dating another man.

 

Did she cheat on me? I don't know. Do I care to find out? Not at all, that would tear me apart.

 

Oddly, I still very much want her to be in my life. I feel like I need 100 cc's of some fucking self respect or something.

[Tidus]

Does a kiss count as cheating? A drunk kiss lol

 

I've deffo been cheated on tho

[auraldesign]

Unfortunately, yes. My first boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend (at the time). Obviously, I removed both of them from my life immediately. Self respect is important. 

[Cass]

I've never cheated. I've been cheated on countless of times. All of my exes cheated on me.

 

I used to think very black and white about cheating. I HATE cheating and cheaters, and I was completely unforgiving. Over the years though, as I was more cheated on and as I made friends with people who cheated in the past I've been learning the other side of the story. I got a better understanding of why people cheat and got to realize those people aren't the villains I made them out to be. I will still never ever cheat, since it has hurt me so much in the past and I would never wish that upon my partners, but I understand cheaters now a lot better. I see how shit it made them feel. Heck, I even stopped hating my exes for cheating on me.

[saudia]

I've been cheated on once. Forgave him though. The first time I found out, I felt so sick. It created a lot of trust issues.

[w35l3y]

If so, how did you feel? Did they found out? Did you say? Did they forgive?

I haven't cheated on anybody.

 

Would you forgive an infidelity?

I wouldn't! I would prefer to discuss about what is wrong. If there weren't a positive discussion, then separation would be good for both.

[Dexternaut]

An ex-girlfriend cheated on me because she thought I was the one cheating on a realtionship (Where all I was doing was talking to other female friends about the everyday stuff), and then she got cheated on by the guy that she initially cheated me on. It got more and more hilarious over time.

 

I've never cheated, I don't get why would I find someone I want to spend so much with to just cheat on them.