This is the story of my Friday, February 3, 2006. I will never be the same...
It all started when I received a phone call from my friend Eddie. It went a little something like this:
Eddie: "Mason! You gotta come out with us, we're goin' to a party."
Me: "Uh... When?"
Eddie: "Right now, come to my house and we'll all go."
Me: "All..?"
Eddie: "Umm, me, Bill, John, Josh, and EH."
Now, this is when I figured out I had a very important decision to make. Do I stay home and avoid a night that is almost sure to end badly, or do I go anyway? Well, of course I pick the latter.
I arrive at the party at about 10:30. There are at least 50 people, half of them are already drunk. I thought that was pretty cool, so I grabbed a beer and sat down, waiting for my friends.
An hour and a six-pack later, my phone rings. It's Eddie, in the most serious voice ever:
E: "Mason, where are you?"
Me: "I'm at the CENSOREDin' party, where the hell are you?"
E: "We need your help, we can't find EH."
Great.
Me: "What... the hell. Why not, and where the hell are you?"
E: "We're in town, he just stole some one's CENSOREDin' car dude. You need to get down here now."
Me: "What!? What the hell are you talking about!? He stole a CENSOREDin' car?"
E: "Yeah, dude. He's kinda high on coke right now, come help us find him."
Surely they were messing with me, right? So I pull up, and there they all are, minus EH. Sure enough, he's nowhere to be seen. Yeah, that's just what I need.
We drive around for an hour looking for him, until we find the car he stole. There he is, passed out, and in the passenger seat is a keg seatbelted in. Nice...
So, we take him back to the party before somebody notices their car is missing, and we put him upstairs in the bedroom so he can sleep. We went down, had some more drinks, and after a while we were all completely trashed. You know what we decided we wanted to do then? The same thing any other person would want to do when they get drunk.
We went to Krogers.
It was about 2 AM, and they stay open 24 hours. I learned a very important lesson that night:
Shoplifting is much easier when you're too drunk to care.
We left 4 cases of beer richer, so we were happy.
This is where I blacked out. I woke up in the morning in a closet. I guess I vomited all over the closest that night, so I got the hell out of there before they found out it was me.
EH never was caught for stealing that car, and I ended up having a good time after all. One of the rare times I tell a tale of my drunken debaucheries that ends on a good note.
I'll never forgot that night.
