Community Status Updates

Turns out our new boss is Canadian. That explains why he's so polite.

I told this dude in the club that my song was on so he needed to move out the way cuz I was about to get buck. He didn't move. He got hit in the face.

My friends son is hilarious "I'm wanna put tampons in my purse"

I find that "men taking up too much space on the train by sitting with their legs open" tumblr to be hilariously ridiculous but I'm on the train right now and this dude has his legs spread so wide he's all up in my space and his leg is touching mine for no freaking reason. I'm about to accidentally step on his foot.

I can't with bitches these days

The guy who did my pedicure definitely had a foot fetish but he did such a good job

People who talk while other people are giving presentations are the worst.

I told my grandma i dont want to go to church, she said it must be because im possessed by a demon. Today is gonna be long day.

"What's the matter you look sad?" "Are you ok" omg I'm not sad I'm high my coworkers are so annoying.

Hungover. Mad. And all I want is McDonalds hash browns.

"Dont come for me unless I send for you" - Socrates

Smokey likes to steal my favorite skirt and drag it around the house. When I wanted to put it on this morning I found it inside Eevees food bowl then when I took it off it disappeared and I found it in the kitchen. #catladyproblems

We're getting a new kitty :)

It's so hard to find good names that arent taken these days

http://tinychat.com/neocodex