73 replies to this topic

[Boggart]

Can someone please explain to me the idea of cheating. To me, it's the most idiotic thing on the planet. Why the fuck would anyone cheat on another person but still want to be in a relationship with them? I don't mean like, a girl hates the relationship she's in and sees someone else before ending the current relationship. While it's a sleazy thing to do, whatever, to each their own. I'm talking about those who are in a relationship, actively cheat on their significant other with one or more people, with no intention of ending it.

The reason I bring this up is because my friend, who I honestly thought was a genuinely nice guy, cheated on his partner with an ex. He claims it's a "one-time thing" yet al the events occured over one night, i.e. texting, hanging out, dinner, cheating all in one day. So I doubt it won't happen again. I have lost so much respect for him. Like wtf. If anyone cheated on me I would end it. I have more pride than to stick around with someone who's a cheater. Fuck that.

Also what's with people who take people back who've cheated on them like 5+ times? This is all assuming that no one has kids. Is your self-esteem so low that you need someone in your life that badly? Someone who treats you like you're nothing? People suck

/rant

[Maloo]

I don't get cheating either.
Neither do I get those kinds of couples that if one partner cheats, the other does the same and they're even.This is just the sickest thing.

[onlyme]

I guess the main reason for cheating in a long time relationship is the appeal of something new, something different. An adventure. Most people I talked to, who cheated on their long time partners, enjoyed it while they did it, then felt miserable. In my opinion cheating isn't THAT bad. I mean, I think it's possible to really love someone you know, you trust and you are with for ages and you wanna be with forever, but however get attracked to someone else, someone you possibly don'tt know well and who just attracts you. In my opinion things only get really bad, if the person who cheats get other feelings than just attraction to the new person.

[Sunset]

I don't get it either honestly. But someone once told me its nothing to do with the cheating really its about the "rush" of possibility of getting caught but not. Your friend probably had a few old feelings come back with that girl and messed up by following them and realized shes an ex for a reason. No excuse for him though I think its stupid. Happily in a relationship for over 7 years and i don't understand the point regardless.

[Boggart]

I don't get cheating either.
Neither do I get those kinds of couples that if one partner cheats, the other does the same and they're even.This is just the sickest thing.

Haha yeah me neither I guess sometimes the couple really do want to stay together, but one person can't truly forgive the other person. But of course on TV they just end up not cheating and the other realizes how hard it is etc etc etc cliche

I guess the main reason for cheating in a long time relationship is the appeal of something new, something different. An adventure. Most people I talked to, who cheated on their long time partners, enjoyed it while they did it, then felt miserable. In my opinion cheating isn't THAT bad. I mean, I think it's possible to really love someone you know, you trust and you are with for ages and you wanna be with forever, but however get attracked to someone else, someone you possibly don'tt know well and who just attracts you. In my opinion things only get really bad, if the person who cheats get other feelings than just attraction to the new person.

I guess that makes sense. But in my opinion, if I had someone who meant that much for me and something like cheating would potentially end it, I would never do anything that would jeopardize it. Not only because I don't want to hurt them, but it would mean me not having that person in my life. Especially for sex. Sex should be such a low priority

I don't get it either honestly. But someone once told me its nothing to do with the cheating really its about the "rush" of possibility of getting caught but not. Your friend probably had a few old feelings come back with that girl and messed up by following them and realized shes an ex for a reason. No excuse for him though I think its stupid. Happily in a relationship for over 7 years and i don't understand the point regardless.

Well I don't think he'll be telling them, so whatever. I guess we'll see what happens.All I know he's an asshat.

[Sweeney]

Welcome to people are stupid and ruled by their libido.

[Blackout]

I don't get cheating either.
Neither do I get those kinds of couples that if one partner cheats, the other does the same and they're even.This is just the sickest thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlZydtG3xqI&feature=player_embedded#at=42

Edited by Blackout, 28 August 2011 - 09:34 AM.

[Boggart]

The fucked up thing is that everything was going so well. It's not like he even wanted out. He just decided cheating would be a great idea! Probably cause they're out of town. For a week. No sex for a week?! hell to the no.

[Maloo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlZydtG3xqI&feature=player_embedded#at=42

I like this one much better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPZmPaHme0&ob=av3e

[ArticTheTiger]

"We were young, and she was willing." -Albert Einstein.

[luvsmyncis]

Unfortunately, some people don't stop to think, especially if they're drunk or feeling frisky. Sometimes it even makes people feel more empowered to cheat. Gives them confidence, like they've accomplished something amazing. Look at me, I got laid even though my wife is out of town. But the truth is, cheating is easy. It's easy to care only about your own instant gratification, or jump into bed with every person you're attracted to. The hard thing is to practice self control and not give in to the wild impulses of human nature.

I don't think that cheating is necessarily an unforgivable offense. People are stupid and make mistakes. I have a friend who is 'the other woman', and although a lot of the blame falls on the man who is cheating on his girlfriend, my friend knows what she is doing is wrong, but keeps doing it. I am disappointed in her, but I'm not sitting on a high horse pointing to a picture of Jesus and telling her she's going to hell for being a whore. If I disowned everyone in my life who I feel does stupid shit and makes dumb choices, I'd be alone in a cave somewhere without any of the people in my life who I treasure.

[Sweeney]

alone in a cave somewhere without any of the people in my life who I treasure.

Doesn't sound so bad.

[Boggart]

Unfortunately, some people don't stop to think, especially if they're drunk or feeling frisky. Sometimes it even makes people feel more empowered to cheat. Gives them confidence, like they've accomplished something amazing. Look at me, I got laid even though my wife is out of town. But the truth is, cheating is easy. It's easy to care only about your own instant gratification, or jump into bed with every person you're attracted to. The hard thing is to practice self control and not give in to the wild impulses of human nature.

I don't think that cheating is necessarily an unforgivable offense. People are stupid and make mistakes. I have a friend who is 'the other woman', and although a lot of the blame falls on the man who is cheating on his girlfriend, my friend knows what she is doing is wrong, but keeps doing it. I am disappointed in her, but I'm not sitting on a high horse pointing to a picture of Jesus and telling her she's going to hell for being a whore. If I disowned everyone in my life who I feel does stupid shit and makes dumb choices, I'd be alone in a cave somewhere without any of the people in my life who I treasure.

Well for my friend I think it's low self-esteem; it seems anyone who will approach him with romantic interests he'll become infatuated with them. If said person is, say, out of town, his self-esteem will become very low and thus he's most vulnerable. And I wouldn't really say cheating is easy; I doubt that cheating just "happens" like people say. It takes a certain willing mind-set as well as some sort of initiation by one person or another. They taught me in elementary to "just say no" (to drugs).

And while I honestly lost respect for him, I'm not going to shun him or anything. but people who are willing to/do cheat aren't exactly the type of people with the same moral standards as I have.

Also, I wonder why people who cheat with another are willing to date that person; i.e. if you're the other man/woman. Clearly they're willling to cheat since they're cheating on someone with you right now, so who says the same won't be done to you by the same person?

[Chloee]

I don't get why people cheat on others either. My opinion is really biased, since my dad cheated on my mum, after being married for 10+ years, so I've really lost any respect for him, since he then married the other person..but I also really doubt that it just 'happens', when they're drunk or anything like that, since from what I know that went on, he covered it up very well and thought it out.


I also don't get why people would be willing to go out with people that cheat on others, or give them a second chance when they do, as if they've done it once, it'll probably be a habit that's hard to break free from.

Edited by Chloee, 28 August 2011 - 12:31 PM.

[iargue]

I honestly don't understand the concept of cheating, but entirely because when I am with someone, I loose all feelings for anyone else. I tend to be attracted to just them, and everyone else becomes kind of bland to me.

I do understand how tempting it is to cheat though. Say your GF/Wife is away, and you are at a party, and there is an attractive girl that's trying to sleep with you. If no one at the party knows you, or knows your gf, then you think, "Hell, I can get laid tonight and she wouldn't even know". Sadly most people do not think beyond what they want at that point in time. A relationship is far more valuable in your life then sex will ever be (15-30 minutes ish of pleasure vs happiness day in and day out).

[Boggart]

I don't get why people cheat on others either. My opinion is really biased, since my dad cheated on my mum, after being married for 10+ years, so I've really lost any respect for him, since he then married the other person..but I also really doubt that it just 'happens', when they're drunk or anything like that, since from what I know that went on, he covered it up very well and thought it out.


I also don't get why people would be willing to go out with people that cheat on others, or give them a second chance when they do, as if they've done it once, it'll probably be a habit that's hard to break free from.

Well if it was in fact a one time thing, like they just hooked up with a random stranger after too much alcohol and they admitted straight up, maybe the situation would change. Probably not for me because drunken acts are sober thoughts.

I honestly don't understand the concept of cheating, but entirely because when I am with someone, I loose all feelings for anyone else. I tend to be attracted to just them, and everyone else becomes kind of bland to me.

I do understand how tempting it is to cheat though. Say your GF/Wife is away, and you are at a party, and there is an attractive girl that's trying to sleep with you. If no one at the party knows you, or knows your gf, then you think, "Hell, I can get laid tonight and she wouldn't even know". Sadly most people do not think beyond what they want at that point in time. A relationship is far more valuable in your life then sex will ever be (15-30 minutes ish of pleasure vs happiness day in and day out).

Yeah I'm the same way; when I have feelings for someone, everyone else seems to become unappealing. The same for people in a relaitonship; they are off the market and thus my feelings for them don't exist.

Pssh, I don't care about getting laid. Sure it's fun but there is just so much more in life than sex. And I joke that food is better than sex, but sex is just so... trivial to me that I probably wouldn't care if I never had sex again. Assuming I could somehow have Boggart spawnlings with my DNA o.o

[Shampoo]

for men, cheating can be used as a way to regain status within the relationship by reminding a girl that you have other options

[Boggart]

for men, cheating can be used as a way to regain status within the relationship by reminding a girl that you have other options

Well if that's the case, that can also be said for females o.o

[Shampoo]

Well if that's the case, that can also be said for females o.o

no, it's not at all the same. unless something has changed in society while I wasn't looking, promiscuity in females decreases their value.

[iargue]

Yeah I'm the same way; when I have feelings for someone, everyone else seems to become unappealing. The same for people in a relaitonship; they are off the market and thus my feelings for them don't exist.

Pssh, I don't care about getting laid. Sure it's fun but there is just so much more in life than sex. And I joke that food is better than sex, but sex is just so... trivial to me that I probably wouldn't care if I never had sex again. Assuming I could somehow have Boggart spawnlings with my DNA o.o

You really need to get laid by someone better I think . Sex is absolutely wonderful, though to me its a lot better when your in love with the person, but even if your not, it still feels absolutely amazing.

Spoiler

And no, I'm not offering. Sorry

Well if that's the case, that can also be said for females o.o

Men and Females think very very differently

A female sees it as shes not good enough, and will try to better herself so she can be worthy of the man. (Not all of them of course) If incorrect thinking, but there is nothing that can be done about it.

[Mithra]

For men, getting lots of girls is looked highly upon. For women, getting lots of men makes them sluts. It's kind of... .
On the topic of cheating itself, sometimes people get...bored with a relationship? I guess. My take on relationships is, it's to get to know a person a lot more personally than you normally would. And once you know everything then it's just... what now? Some people just don't have the courage to fully break up with a partner when they meet someone new, but they just can't help wanting to know more about another person. Kind of from experience , but I got my head on straight and I moved past that.

[ilovepolkadots]

1. low self esteem
2. an overwhelming need for attention
3. they are no longer interested in the other person and cannot be an adult enough to tell them

[Ellipses]

Well, I feel like after you've been with someone for a while, you just start taking that person for granted.You can still love that person very much and still get a bit tired of them. As a result, you kind of want something new in your life.

Of course, there are some common situations that makes cheating happen. Like, the couple just got into a fight and one person is presented with the opportunity. Or sometimes, we're with people who we don't completely adore and our sense of attachment to the person isn't quite so strong.

All in all, there shouldn't ever be a justification to cheating. I think there are times when someone can be genuinely sorry and regretful ,but even if the relationship survives, I feel like the burden of this would be too much most of the time.

[Boggart]

You really need to get laid by someone better I think . Sex is absolutely wonderful, though to me its a lot better when your in love with the person, but even if your not, it still feels absolutely amazing.

Spoiler

And no, I'm not offering. Sorry

It doesn't matter how good the sex is; the fact is sex will stop eventually and you will be spending a lot more time not having sex than having sex. It's stupid to throw something good away for something stupid.

And I'd reject the offer anyway, thxthobai.

My take on relationships is, it's to get to know a person a lot more personally than you normally would. And once you know everything then it's just... what now? Some people just don't have the courage to fully break up with a partner when they meet someone new, but they just can't help wanting to know more about another person. Kind of from experience , but I got my head on straight and I moved past that.

Well if you don't really care about that other person then I whatever, do what you want. but I more so meant the people who cheat on the other person actively and are miraculously surprised when the other person is angry or something.

1. low self esteem
2. an overwhelming need for attention
3. they are no longer interested in the other person and cannot be an adult enough to tell them

Hi!

If you want attention, get a puppy. Don't have sex with it though.

Well, I feel like after you've been with someone for a while, you just start taking that person for granted.You can still love that person very much and still get a bit tired of them. As a result, you kind of want something new in your life.

Of course, there are some common situations that makes cheating happen. Like, the couple just got into a fight and one person is presented with the opportunity. Or sometimes, we're with people who we don't completely adore and our sense of attachment to the person isn't quite so strong.

All in all, there shouldn't ever be a justification to cheating. I think there are times when someone can be genuinely sorry and regretful ,but even if the relationship survives, I feel like the burden of this would be too much most of the time.

If someone cheats it'll almost always be over the head of the relationship forever. Used in fights years down the road ("you cheated on me and I took you back!" or w/e) or eventually leaked out or used as blackmail from a former friend. It's just so much shit that can go down. I mean like, if it was for something different like a lifetime supply of money or life changing then fine. But just for sex? And in my friend's case it's very regular too...

I hate people again

[artificial]

I don't necessarily think cheating is all that bad. Like someone previously said, love and lust are two different things. It's entirely possible to be in love with someone utterly and completely, while also being physically attracted to someone else. While I personally have never cheated (nor have I been in a position to cheat for a while ), I wouldn't be too upset if it happened, as long as they came forward.

Mind you, I've never felt that strongly towards a girl, so someone emotionally invested in a relationship would probably see it otherwise.