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What if I bred a hybrid of a Pegasus and a Unicorn? A... Pegacorn, and then proceeded to fly to everyone's houses and leave you with the feeling of jealousy and contempt, because you lack a Pegacorn?
How about I write your name in pretty pink letters on a billboard, underneath proposing my eternal undying love for you?
Will it be enough if I created a time machine, went into the future, kidnapped your future children, went back in time, ransomed it to your current self, then the future me from the future will come back in time, with that same machine, and kidnap the ransomed child from the current you, to ransom back to the future you? So I get double the nominations for Advanced Membership?
Would it be enough if I wrote you a story, where you are the emperor of the universe, and every measly lifeform are your lowly subjects? What if in this story I made you 6 foot 4? Chiseled, rugged, and handsome, yet sensitive, caring with a strong moral compass, allowing you to be the hero in all ways. Obviously, it's be a terrible story since the protagonist is perfect, and nobody likes a perfect protagonist, but you would like it wouldn't you? It would stroke your ego very vigorously, wouldn't it?
Maybe I could make you a sandwich? The best one you've ever tasted? It would have fourteen layers of bacon, and when you take a bite out of you, your heart would immediately explode. Maybe then you could write in your will that I inherit your account? That's a viable alternative is it not? If I get no nominations, will I at least get a hand-me-down?
Okay, I'm clearly insane.
P.S. Do you like clown costumes? I have this crazy good idea involving clown costumes, a waterfowl, and a plastic sword.
P.P.S. I am a little bit, tiny bit, inebriated in the time of writing this, I have enough inhibition left to know what I've typed above is probably considered a hate crime in most states of America (even though I don't live in America). I also think I probably posted this on the wrong subforum.
