45 replies to this topic

[Nanarie]

Since I'm in a long distance relationship, my parents have no idea what's going on like 9/10 of the time unless my boyfriend's at my house. But even then That aside, they like my boyfriend a fair amount, I think - but it's also because he's Asian. If he was any other race the shit would hit the fan.

[kidbit]

I didn't know so many people had racist families, kinda shocking to me to read that so many times.

[Syntax]

I didn't know so many people had racist families, kinda shocking to me to read that so many times.

I think it's largely a case of cultural differences, not skin colour. I mean, the difference between the east and west families are a lot huger than a lot of people realise. I'll probably live with my parents until I'm married, ya know, no matter how old that is and I wouldn't want to date anyone who feels that living with your parents after university is a loser thing to do.

[imcominatcha]

I didn't know so many people had racist families, kinda shocking to me to read that so many times.

As much as society tries to embrace racial/religious harmony, it's still hard for the older generation to cull the instincts they were raised up on. For instance, the last WW happened when they were kids, at their most impressionable. A lot of bad things were said and done in the name of race/religion/____ (insert foolish reason here), and they grew up harbouring all that contempt.

Least we know better than that. Case in point: as mad-ass workaholic Asians can be, that's not representative of the entire race. Just look at me.



And holy hot damn I'm not sure if this gif's gonna work. Yet another fail moment from an supposed Asian know-it-all.

[Debbie]

My parents tend to stay out of my business. They always have an opinion on it, of course - they're only human, but they tend to keep them to themselves... At the end of the day, they just want me to be happy. But when they can clearly see that I am no longer happy, that's when they tend to butt in.

Though my current partner, they think the sun shines out of his back side and it's SO annoying... Whenever we argue, it's ALWAYS me in the wrong, because he could not POSSIBLY be in the wrong

As for the whole race thing, I don't think my parents care, as long as I'm happy... I mean, their parents would never have allowed them to date someone from a different race, but my parents are fairly young themselves, and I think the fact that their parents were so strict on them has meant that they don't care so much who I date.

[onlyme]

absolutely not. i am not indian.

[ae19]

No, not really. My dad has tried to order me to stop dating a guy before but I just soundly ignored him and now they know better than to try and meddle in my personal life. Sometimes I'll ask for their honest opinions on the guys I'm dating, but what I do with those opinions are up to me. Sometimes my mom will offer her unsolicited opinions on the appearances of the guys I'm dating (we really don't seem to find the same guys attractive. That and she has a huge problem with tattoos and facial hair. )

[Jakerz]

Kind of, at the back of my mind I'm always thinking of what my parents will think about a girl, then I'll think to myself if that's reasonable, and if so I won't bring her home

But if I'm already dating a girl and they tell me they don't like her, chances are I won't break up with her

[Random]

My family hasn't said anything to me, but they wouldn't be happy if I dated outside of my race, I'm sure.
They do comment on the fact that I'm dating in college when I should be meeting new people. They also used to comment in high school that I was a man whore and they didn't approve of me speaking with so many girls.

[m33r33]

I dated an indian guy once, they were sketched out by him since they're hispanic. Then I dated a cuban guy, they really liked him, etc. They don't stop me, but they voice their opinion and it's annoying. Now I have an fwb from work but they can't know about that, they'd flip since they know him. I keep my parents in mind when deciding if i'm to date someone.

[DanDoesWork]

I'm pretty happy, and thankful that my parents especially my mother don't have a say in who I date...quite frankly my mom just want's me to be in a healthy loving relationship. That goes beyond the color of skin, social status, income status, and religion. My parents don't push me to date asian primarily either. Which I can't say the same thing for most of my Asian friends. I didn't grow up in the most conservative household especially since life was a very rocky start. So that is mainly the reason why they just want me to be happy love them <3

[imcominatcha]

Silly child, you don't realize how protected you are from some of this. I still hear hurtful things said about my daughter, I still get called a heathern, one of her friends asked was it true that she ate dog (she does not, I have). You think, that maybe a parent does not want that shit for their child, that if you have a choice between a traditional spouse and someone with vastly different culture that a parent does not what they feel is the "best" culture and values for there child?

Firstly, 'Heathen'.

Secondly, discrimination against you is unavoidable; it's up to YOU to decide if you want to join in and perpetuate the cycle. I understand how good and loving parents would want the best for their children, and a union between individuals of similar cultures might seem best to them. I am not in any way repudiating that.

HOWEVER, the point here, which you have missed (and i'm sorry that you did), is that individuals DO NOT NEED TO BE OF THE SAME RACE/RELIGION/CULTURE/SPECIES to empathise/accept/coexist. What more between a match where there is love to bind them together.

Granted, mistakes will be made. Hurt will happen. But in relationships, hurt ALWAYS happens. Ultimately, what matter most is whether that hurt is worth it.

If your kids really do bring home somebody you do not agree with (because of different cultures/beliefs etc), I really do hope you'll give it your all to make them happy. Because if you are the loving parent you claim you are, support is what your kids need. And if their relationships really do break down, I really do think they'd prefer your comfort to your ire.

If I am a 'silly child' for wanting to break the perpetual cycle of hate and discrimination, so be it. Better a 'silly child' than a grown up who has lost faith in people.

[Mishelle]

I understand where he's coming from. I've been on the other side of the coin. One of my ex's moms hated me because I was Black and wouldn't even talk to me if I came over. Its hurtful and of course I wouldn't get that kind of treatment in the house of another Black person. But eh I can handle it, but just because I can doesn't mean that everyone can or should.

[RandyX]

They don't affect my choices.
I've dated a few women and a couple men.
Currently is going well with my current boyfriend.

[summerx]

Honestly my parents just look out for me when it comes to relationships. I consider myself a good judge of character and its rare for me to want to date someone (i'm picky). my parents know i'm a good judge so they usually approve of someone on the rare occasion i bring them home

[Jiayu]

My parents are lucky if they know I'm dating someone at all.