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Political Party Picker!
#1
Posted 30 September 2012 - 10:00 AM
#2
Posted 30 September 2012 - 10:05 AM

UVM STUDENT
You, my friend, are chill. You're open, and understanding, and you believe in LOVE more than anything. War is fascism, man. It's fucked. Washington is fucked, there's no two ways around it. At least, like, there's Obama, you know? Progress is being made, but like, you believe that there is a future version of America – a potential cosmic timeline – where we drop the bullshit, and open our arms to our fellow man, and just live, man. If only we could all just let each other live, right? You also smoke pot. A lot of it.
Do I win something?
#3
Posted 30 September 2012 - 10:09 AM

Bro out and hear some crazy stories.
This.
Edited by HappyAccident, 30 September 2012 - 10:10 AM.
#4
Posted 30 September 2012 - 10:23 AM

BLEEDING HEART SOCIALIST
But we know what you really are. You’re a Communist. Or a Socialist. Or both. You believe in BIG GOVERNMENT and CIVILLIBERTIES and the DEMOCRATIC PARTY. You walk around talking about universal healthcare, the public school system, and taxation like these are NORMAL THINGS and not all parts of your socialist agenda. So go ahead, vote for Obama. Call yourself a Democrat. Because we can see right through you, right into your Communist, er, Socialist bleeding heart.
I'm not surprised at this.
#5
Posted 30 September 2012 - 10:26 AM
Hoooooooly shit. Uh oh. It's your way or the highway, for real, though. If you had it your way, America would be the way you want it, no if's, and's, or but's. You're just about ready to take to the streets, and not for the people – for yourself. You're about as right-wing as they get, so anyone who disagrees with you (I'm looking at you, almost everyone else) better be on the lookout, because you're coming for them. If it ain't in your Amurrica, it don't belong nowhere. And you mean that. Easy, Adolf.
#6
Posted 30 September 2012 - 10:30 AM

Casual Bruce Springsteen Fan
You're politically active enough. You're definitely a Democrat, but not in a crazy way. You recycle when it's convenient. You voted for Obama, and will again this year – if you can make it to the polls. It'll work itself out, right? War is bad, gay people are good, yadda yadda yadda. You like Bruce, you like REM, and they went on that big tour for John Kerry back in 04. Good enough for you. Politics is a little too heady. You just vote for the people with heart. You buy whatever CD is being sold at Starbucks, and you aren't quite sure what Obamacare is. You're a "liberal."
Well that was a waste of time for something even more inaccurate than I'd anticipated.
#7
Posted 30 September 2012 - 11:28 AM

BLEEDING HEART SOCIALIST
But we know what you really are. You’re a Communist. Or a Socialist. Or both. You believe in BIG GOVERNMENT and CIVILLIBERTIES and the DEMOCRATIC PARTY. You walk around talking about universal healthcare, the public school system, and taxation like these are NORMAL THINGS and not all parts of your socialist agenda. So go ahead, vote for Obama. Call yourself a Democrat. Because we can see right through you, right into your Communist, er, Socialist bleeding heart.
#8
Posted 30 September 2012 - 11:42 AM

WEIRD LIBERTARIAN
You are so left wing that you're right wing. Which is crazy, right? That shouldn't be able to happen. Well guess what, you're that. You made that happen. You're one political degree away from forcing the universe to collapse in on itself because nothing makes sense anymore. Neither the Democrats nor the GOP floats your boat. It's all just one big mess. You should really just pile into a spaceship with your fellow Libertarian nutjobs and fly to a planet where Ron Paul is your ruler, and you can follow his weird non-law laws for ever and ever and do all kinds of drugs legally and let houses burn to the ground because you have no fire department. That's what that is, right? Take a hike, you weird neocon hippie.
That was unexpected.
Edited by Ivysaur, 30 September 2012 - 11:42 AM.
#9 Guest_Kate_*
Posted 30 September 2012 - 12:16 PM

UVM STUDENT
You, my friend, are chill. You're open, and understanding, and you believe in LOVE more than anything. War is fascism, man. It's fucked. Washington is fucked, there's no two ways around it. At least, like, there's Obama, you know? Progress is being made, but like, you believe that there is a future version of America – a potential cosmic timeline – where we drop the bullshit, and open our arms to our fellow man, and just live, man. If only we could all just let each other live, right? You also smoke pot. A lot of it.
#10
Posted 30 September 2012 - 12:19 PM
BLEEDING HEART SOCIALIST
But we know what you really are. You’re a Communist. Or a Socialist. Or both. You believe in BIG GOVERNMENT and CIVILLIBERTIES and the DEMOCRATIC PARTY. You walk around talking about universal healthcare, the public school system, and taxation like these are NORMAL THINGS and not all parts of your socialist agenda. So go ahead, vote for Obama. Call yourself a Democrat. Because we can see right through you, right into your Communist, er, Socialist bleeding heart.
I'm not surprised at this.
^this
#11
Posted 30 September 2012 - 12:53 PM

Weird Libertarian
You are so left wing that you're right wing. Which is crazy, right? That shouldn't be able to happen. Well guess what, you're that. You made that happen. You're one political degree away from forcing the universe to collapse in on itself because nothing makes sense anymore. Neither the Democrats nor the GOP floats your boat. It's all just one big mess. You should really just pile into a spaceship with your fellow Libertarian nutjobs and fly to a planet where Ron Paul is your ruler, and you can follow his weird non-law laws for ever and ever and do all kinds of drugs legally and let houses burn to the ground because you have no fire department. That's what that is, right? Take a hike, you weird neocon hippie.
Uhh... Ok!!
#12
Posted 30 September 2012 - 12:53 PM

STRAIGHT UP NAZI
Hoooooooly shit. Uh oh. It's your way or the highway, for real, though. If you had it your way, America would be the way you want it, no if's, and's, or but's. You're just about ready to take to the streets, and not for the people – for yourself. You're about as right-wing as they get, so anyone who disagrees with you (I'm looking at you, almost everyone else) better be on the lookout, because you're coming for them. If it ain't in your Amurrica, it don't belong nowhere. And you mean that. Easy, Adolf.
To be fair, there weren't any in-betweens on the answers. I'm surprised everyone didn't end up at some extreme.
Edited by Napiform, 30 September 2012 - 12:54 PM.
#13
Posted 30 September 2012 - 01:00 PM

WEIRD LIBERTARIAN
You are so left wing that you're right wing. Which is crazy, right? That shouldn't be able to happen. Well guess what, you're that. You made that happen. You're one political degree away from forcing the universe to collapse in on itself because nothing makes sense anymore. Neither the Democrats nor the GOP floats your boat. It's all just one big mess. You should really just pile into a spaceship with your fellow Libertarian nutjobs and fly to a planet where Ron Paul is your ruler, and you can follow his weird non-law laws for ever and ever and do all kinds of drugs legally and let houses burn to the ground because you have no fire department. That's what that is, right? Take a hike, you weird neocon hippie.
Edited by Glow, 30 September 2012 - 01:00 PM.
#14
Posted 30 September 2012 - 01:44 PM

STRAIGHT UP NAZI
Hoooooooly shit. Uh oh. It's your way or the highway, for real, though. If you had it your way, America would be the way you want it, no if's, and's, or but's. You're just about ready to take to the streets, and not for the people – for yourself. You're about as right-wing as they get, so anyone who disagrees with you (I'm looking at you, almost everyone else) better be on the lookout, because you're coming for them. If it ain't in your Amurrica, it don't belong nowhere. And you mean that. Easy, Adolf.
#15
Posted 30 September 2012 - 03:50 PM

BLEEDING HEART SOCIALIST
But we know what you really are. You’re a Communist. Or a Socialist. Or both. You believe in BIG GOVERNMENT and CIVILLIBERTIES and the DEMOCRATIC PARTY. You walk around talking about universal healthcare, the public school system, and taxation like these are NORMAL THINGS and not all parts of your socialist agenda. So go ahead, vote for Obama. Call yourself a Democrat. Because we can see right through you, right into your Communist, er, Socialist bleeding heart.
#16
Posted 30 September 2012 - 03:58 PM

Casual Bruce Springsteen Fan
You're politically active enough. You're definitely a Democrat, but not in a crazy way. You recycle when it's convenient. You voted for Obama, and will again this year – if you can make it to the polls. It'll work itself out, right? War is bad, gay people are good, yadda yadda yadda. You like Bruce, you like REM, and they went on that big tour for John Kerry back in 04. Good enough for you. Politics is a little too heady. You just vote for the people with heart. You buy whatever CD is being sold at Starbucks, and you aren't quite sure what Obamacare is. You're a "liberal."
#17
Posted 03 October 2012 - 04:07 AM

Some of the questions I didn't have answers for, but I had to pick one. Like, I hate both Ted Nugent AND Michael Moore.
#18
Posted 06 October 2012 - 10:26 PM

Boring Ol' Moderate
Oooooh great. Look at you. Mr./Ms. Reasonable. You like everything in moderation, including your politics. You're sooooo considerate of each side. You recognize the merit in opposing points of view. You're friends with both conservatives and liberals, and you know what, it's just annoying. You seem to actually have a decent grasp on world events, and are able to temper your animalistic urges to hate or kill. You think war can be justified, but isn't by any means always the answer. You think abortion is morally questionable, but can definitely be necessary. You're smart, and goddamn it, you're a buzzkill.

Teenager Who Just Learned About Politics
You frequently find yourself saying, "LOOK, MOM AND DAD. YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND." Because like… there is so much injustice in the world, and how can anyone STAND for it?! Do people have any idea how IMMORAL the death penalty is? How DUMB the war in IRAQ is?! Like… you just read about all the bullshit George W. Bush did, and it’s just… disgusting. Why can’t people just get along? Why can’t people give Obama a chance? You just wish people were SANE and understood the way the world works, like YOU do. You’re super, super liberal. And you get politics. …Wait, sorry, what is a Pell Grant? Is that like Medicare?

Pansy Conservative
Uggh MAN THE FUCK UP. You call yourself conservative, but you're totally liberal in many – if not most – ways. You buy organic foods. You weirdly care about the environment. You tell your friends you watch "Two and a Half Men," but you actually watch "Modern Family." You think that everyone deserves to be happy, and other such nonsense. You’re barely acceptable as a Republican. Just because you think that Saddam Hussein sucked and that abortion is kind of weird doesn’t make you a conservative. Buy some Toby Keith albums, pick an oppressed group to hate, and get a hold of yourself.

Wannabe Tea Partier
You watch a lot of Fox News. You've read Ayn Rand. You feel like you've got a pretty good grasp on what socialism is. You're angry, but you're not exactly sure why. You "want your country back." OK, how? You're not quite sure, but you know that's what you want. You go to marches and yell even though you can't really hear what's being said on the loudspeaker. You wanted to like Santorum, but you were actually rooting for Romney deep down all along. You're kind of a poser, and you know what? That's OK. Because this is America, even if it's not QUITE the one you want.

Neocon Creep
Now, according to you, America can be fixed. It's simple: just put everything in the free market. America is the beacon of the world, and you are prepared to do what it takes to demonstrate that. Go into other peoples countries to make sure they institute a functional democracy? Sure. Suppress any rebellious counterculture activity in any you can? Right on. Sounds great! The bad news? You're super boring at parties, and you're just kind of a bummer in general. You wear a lot of bow ties. You've got a weird laugh. Awkward.
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