33 replies to this topic

[Galadriel]

My brother is 13 and if I tell him to sit down and stop acting like a twit he sits down and stops acting like a twit. They're in middle school, not pre-school. 

 

It only takes having gone to middle school to know that sort of obedience is usually not the norm.

[Mishelle]

It only takes having gone to middle school to know that sort of obedience is usually not the norm.

 

I went to middle school and I don't remember it being rowdy or disruptive then again I went to a Performance Arts Magnet in a really nice neighborhood. 

[Frizzle]

Yes, because obviously instead of telling the boys to get it under control, you're telling a girl to not wear a T-shirt?

A teacher would be doing her best if she tried to educate the boys, not taking the shortcut of just telling the girl to stop wearing a T-shirt.

Drawing parallel to an extreme case, if there's a rape case, are you going to tell the victim that he/she should've worn less revealing clothing?

 

 

 

So you can quickly educate teenage boys with a stern word or two? I'm sure that's the case. Education is a long process over the course of decades and secondary influences such as teaching/education can only go so far, especially compared to some households people grow up in. Education is the key to winning the war, but you won't win this battle with it.

 

What's worse, being told to wear a jumper or having unwanted sexual advances from classmates?

 

Let's not make parallels to rape victims shall we? It's hugely insulting and serves no purpose. 

Back in my middle school years, sweaters gave you even BETTER boobs than tshirts.

 

 

Tell that to Ariel Winter.

 

 

 

[Cass]

Yay I'm finally home

 

This teacher is creating the perfect conditions for your sister to develop real insecurities and hangups about her own body. 

 

This is definitely my biggest issue with the whole situation, regardless of who's right or wrong or what the right approach would be. She wasn't too fond of it in the first place, but now my sister is VERY ashamed of having breasts. And unless in her adult years she decides to get a breast reduction, she'll be carrying them around for a very long time, big ones too (since everyone with a vagina in the family has at least a D-cup). This blatant feeding of her insecurities is a very bad situation and the teacher should have realized this and tried to avoid that at all costs.

 

God you lot are fucking ridiculous sometimes. Have you ever spoke to a 12 year old boy? Literally 90% of their thoughts are sex, boobs ancon women. It's hormonal.

Maybe a teacher is doing her best and suggesting something so that all three parties can learn in peace

Another reason I'm all for school uniform, letting kids pick out their clothes only leads to issues.

 

Well, obviously they have raging hormones. You can't tell the boys to just stop having sexual thoughts, we all know that's not gonna work. But wouldn't this be just exactly the right time to start teaching them how to 'deal' with those urges? I mean, it isn't appropriate at any age to act like a neanderthaler. Although a lot still behave like that

 

I do support the idea however of a uniform, I think that it'd solve a lot of bullying in general, regarding someone's personal taste. With the sidenote that if the uniform is a polo it wouldn't help much in this case, since it has almost the same fitting as a t-shirt.

 

School is a learning environment, and learning how to control yourself is definitely part of the learning process. I don't think the age of 12 is young; its already 6/7th grade, and most schools require sex-ed/HGD classes in 5th grade, so every kid should know the basics of everything, which will be enforced/expanded on in the upcoming years. If a school wants to ban tank-tops, fine, it can be argued to not be school-appropriate (for both girls and guys though), but a T-shirt is pretty unreasonable

 

I definitely think a comfortable environment and what you said about talking is needed, but that's because of how society is and it really shouldn't be. Go look at the recent Isla Vista incident. That's what happens when you let stuff like this slide for boys because it makes it okay for males to think that its not their fault, its the victim's fault.

 

This x1000 ^^^^ I wouldn't agree but I would at least understand the banning of tank-tops, but t-shirts are just ridiculous.

 

Wow, that's really stupid. e___e I don't get how sweaters are even better than t-shirts?? Like how can you punish a kid for going through puberty? It happens.  The teacher shouldn't be paying that much attention to a little girl's boobs anyway are you SERIOUS

 

I may have chosen bad wording (since English isn't my mother tongue I occasionally use the wrong words). I just meant loose clothing like hoodies (I guess?) and sport vests and baggy sweaters.

 

Lastly, I don't make the calls in this situation since I'm just her sister. All I can do is rage from the sideline and give my mom a piece of my mind and try to be supportive for my sister. I went shopping with her and bought her some cute tunics that don't show her breasts and so she doesn't have to look dorky in stupid baggy sweaters she doesn't feel comfortable wearing. 'Forcing'/telling her to ignore the teacher and just keep on wearing t-shirts would probably be a bad thing to do, I think the tunics are a good compromise.

 

Spoiler

It looks SO good on her. It's longer for her though (she's a shorty). You don't see any breasts in it

 

I don't think my mom would approach the media though. She's more of the type to say "Well you can stick your opinion up your ass, my daughter dresses however the fuck she wants"

 

@cassiopeiic, thank you for understanding. I never want to make you feel like I don't take your feelings seriously or offend you. =)

Nah, you have very decent supported arguments. And I'm pretty hard to offend (do NOT consider that a challenge )

Edited by cassiopeiic, 27 May 2014 - 01:59 PM.

[Frizzle]

 

 

Well, obviously they have raging hormones. You can't tell the boys to just stop having sexual thoughts, we all know that's not gonna work. But wouldn't this be just exactly the right time to start teaching them how to 'deal' with those urges? I mean, it isn't appropriate at any age to act like a neanderthaler. Although a lot still behave like that

 

 

 

It's not an either or situation. Both can be done.

[luvsmyncis]

What's worse, being told to wear a jumper or having unwanted sexual advances from classmates?

Unwanted sexual advances is worse.

I've learned to always wear long sleeves and pants, even though I live in Texas. I never brush my hair which I tend to keep very short and I don't wear makeup, especially not lipstick! Not with these lips, no sir. Despite all that, some people still seem to find me lovely, so I compensate for that with a shitty, sarcastic attitude. I try to keep a posture that reads, "Eat shit and die". Unwanted sexual advances happen, but much less frequently now that I have become the ultimate gremlin.

[Mandie]

Teacher should have told her to start duct taping her dirty pillows down. Shame on her for distracting the class!

[DasBear]

@cassiopeiic, I'm not a person to unnecessarily argue. especially over the internet. I'm old and I feel twice my age from being sick - so the energy is not there. I have to reserve it for when my daughter comes back from nursery, lol. I really do hope they resolve the issue. 

[Fawkes]

I have a little sister aged 12. She's in her last year of primary school. The women in our family are all big-breasted and early developing. My little sis just started developing her breasts and they're already showing.

 

Now, her teacher has forbid her to wear T-shirts - she may only wear sweaters - because the boys are getting excited in class.

 

I don't want to sound like a rageing tumblr feminist, but

 

WHATTHEFUCK? Are you kidding me?? Punishing the girl for growing breasts, rather than teaching boys what's appropriate and whatnot?

I mean, we're talking t-shirts here. She isn't flaunting her breasts (in fact she absolutely hates them, and the teacher aint helping), she isnt showing cleavage or wearing super short mini skirts (which a lot of her friends do). I just cant believe how that teacher would do something like that.

 

I thought I lived in the netherlands, not in saudi arabia

 

Get her a training bra, that would probably solve the problem... and it shouldn't be a problem with the teacher for her to wear t-shirts.  That's ridiculous!

It's worse than sexism. It is misogyny. This is sickening. A female teacher making a young girl ashamed of her body. Definitely make a big deal about this. It's unacceptable.
Like another poster said, you should threaten to report it to a news agency. And if they don't address the situation, then DEFINITELY go to a news agency. They deserve to be publicly humiliated.

 

This is why people don't take many activists too seriously, they go a bit crazy and handle things very sporadically.  I suggest the OP do what a lot of others are saying and talk to the principal or the teacher about it - In a calm manner like an adult.  Not to mention get the kid a training bra since she is starting to develop.