Posted 18 February 2007 - 07:04 PM
Dignity. Well before this post you did. Look, no offence but your life is pretty crappy, but I don't feel empthaty for you, not because I'm a cold heartless bastard, but because I can't feel it for you, it's an emotion that I'm pretty much devoid except for extreme cases.
That luckily gives me a clearer view on the bigger situation, unlike most people who's thoughts are clouded by emotion. Your family life is pretty messed up, but family isn't everything. Thinking about it, if my Dad told me today that he wasn't my real father, I wouldn't care because he is my Dad, someone who took care of me and loves me. What I'm trying to say is, just because your biological family has some warped views on you, doesn't mean you can't find people who will truely love you. They are out there, and if you can't be bothered to find them, tough titties.
Sure, you have mental illnesses, so what? So do I, probably about as bad or even worse then yours, clinically despressed, showing socoipathic tendencies, Polar this and Polar, I've heard all before, even had to go to therapy, and it does cause my life tremndous amounts of stress and pain, but I get through, because I never give up because I'm not a quitter.
People aren't going to like you on this forum straight away, that's life, work on it, devlop some social skills and give yourself time, you'll pull through and make some decent friends. I don't have any close friends on this site, just people I like talk to, same way as I am in real life. It's about how much effort you put in to get these friends that really counts, have you PMed anyone, started any topics about intresting things, added people on MSN, participated in GFX, programming or contests that much? You just gotta be more active.
As for the drugs, I've got no sympthay for you, it was your choice to start, your choice to finish it. If you can't give them up, there's help for you, helplines, websites, therapy, rehab and so on. If you don't take any of them choices, you WILL die of drugs in one shape or form, trust me on that. And no-one will care because you had the chance, just didn't take it. On another note, MDMA isn't that addictive, try smoking and giving up hard, that's alot more addictive and harder to quit then cocaine hydrochloride.
Good luck if this is a legit post, but that's all I can offer. Advice and someone to talk to when I'm not busy with other things.