10 replies to this topic

[Melchoire]

My uncle recently passed away, he lived in Afghanistan. We all supported his family, you know sent money and all that. But no one has yet to tell my grandma that he's dead. They weren't always on the best terms with one another and she's frail; she had a stroke last year. They're afraid the news will be too shocking for her and may decline her health. It's been almost a month but they've decided to not to tell her for a long time(maybe never, since they barely ever spoke with one another at all), and I'm really shocked that they've decided this. If I were in her shoes I'd definitely want to know.

[travis]

I don't tell my grandmother that I live with my dad...'cus she much hates him. Doesn't even know I talk to him.
Why? Because she's probably have a heart attack.

So point is, it's not wrong. It's understandable.

[Melchoire]

It's understandable but I still think she should be told.

[Andy]

I dunno, maybe it's gone too far and you can't tell her anymore. But let's face it, what happens when out of the blue she wants to contact him... I think the consequences of not telling her far outweigh the consequences of telling her. She may be old, but for older people, death is just a fact of life they are almost used to. She will understand.

[jonnykun]

the question is, would she get more upset that you waited this long before telling her or simply from hearing the news. . . well now you can never know haha best to just tell her i think

[jewmob]

lol i don't tell my grandparent's shit like tonight for example it's my grandpas birthday and my whole family is going to b there bunch of snobs any way i got my lip pierced and i know there going to flip cuz they fliped out when i streched my ear's now my family is jewish and they have high standerds lets see what happens

Edited by jewmob, 17 January 2010 - 12:32 PM.

[unworthy]

I do not really know the best answer either. If you told her she would be upset, maybe decline in health, and resent you all for not telling her in the first place. If you do not tell her she will not know anyways, she wont hate you, and she wont notice because she never thinks of him.

If there really isn't any good to come from telling her should you really? I mean. If someone know 100% that god wasn't real but thousands of people lived better lives because of their beliefs in him should someone really burst their bubble.

If nothing bad will come from you not telling her and might even be a good thing for her considering her condition If I were you I probably would not. But I understand why you feel as though you should. The problem is that doing what is "right" or "fair" might not always be the best choice and it might not be the right decision.

[Noitidart]

Aw man dude so sorry. Family ties shouldn't be cut off Especially for Muslims We aren't supposed to do that How long didn't they talk for?

[Melchoire]

Thanks for the input, I'm glad some people agree with me. But unfortunately I don't have a say in it. =/

Aw man dude so sorry. Family ties shouldn't be cut off Especially for Muslims We aren't supposed to do that How long didn't they talk for?

Quite a long time(6 months at least). It's not like they were angry with one another, they just didn't talk. He was adopted by my grandpa(he's one of his friend's sons who died during the war), so my grandma was never really close to him.

[Alexa]

I think the more you wait the worse it gets. And if it's gonna make her sick, well why tell her.

[Noitidart]

Ah adopted. That's ok that's not a cut off. I totally see. It might be best man We don't want to lose your grandma