46 replies to this topic

[iargue]

http://www.3news.co....90/Default.aspx

Police in Wellington are investigating the sudden death of a man at Reading Cinemas.
The 23-year-old’s body was found by a staff member at the Courtenay Place theatre, shortly before 8.30pm last night. It is believed he had been watching Twilight: Eclipse.
A cause of death has not yet been identified.
A scene examination is being carried out and a post-mortem will be done on Tuesday morning, according to Detective Senior Sergeant Scott Miller.
Police are still trying to locate the man’s next of kin. He is understood to be a Wellington resident.
The theatre where the man was found will remain closed until the scene examination has been completed

[luvsmyncis]

And three days later, he's a vampire.

[devil669988]

Finally someone dies from the boring movie eclipse

[Boggart]

"finally"? It's been out for like, 5 days

[Noitidart]

What do you mean? Did the previous twilight movies claim lives too? How?

[Warriors]

Put a stake in his heart! Died of boredom most likely.

[Noitidart]

I think there was a ton more hype for new moon then for eclipse. And didnt new moon come out within the last year? That was a super fast sequel.

[WakaWaka]

just wait..there will be 2 more movies.
well actually 1, but it will be split in half.

[luvsmyncis]

just wait..there will be 2 more movies.
well actually 1, but it will be split in half.

Just like Bella's uterus.

[ArticTheTiger]

Just like Bella's uterus.

is there a sex tape of her?

[luvsmyncis]

is there a sex tape of her?

No, she gives birth to a beautiful little baby.



What kind of sex tapes show a woman's uterus?

[ArticTheTiger]

No, she gives birth to a beautiful little baby.



What kind of sex tapes show a woman's uterus?

The awesome kind.

[kittycat]

Died of intense orgasms from Taylor Lautner's body after masturbating in the washroom.

Edited by kittycat, 08 July 2010 - 10:30 AM.

[picole]

Put a stake in his heart! Died of boredom most likely.

boredom or so melas of the film, that the characters are telling "I love you", "want to be with you forever," aff, even the sick

[outsidedream86]

I can't wait for the next movie after I read this review. It's best review ever for the Breaking Dawn book [Warning: spoilers if you actually care]

Breaking Dawn opens with Bella Swan, the lacteal heroine of the series, finally getting married to Edward Cullen, the mopey vampire hero. They go off to honeymoon on Isle Esme, a Brazilian island the Cullen clan owns (this is already ridiculous beyond belief. Imagine a vampire going snorkeling; it basically happens in this book), and Edward is afraid to fuck his new bride. The reason: he's super strong and she's just a human - Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex type of situation here. But Bella wears him down and Edward throws it in her - and knocks her the fuck out, leaving her badly bruised.

Let's go over that again: Edward fucks Bella into unconsciousness. This alone should have you running to Fandango to pre-order your tickets, but it only gets better.

Despite being knocked out cold by his sexual style (and having the headboard destroyed), Bella goes back to Edward for seconds. This time he knocks her up. Yes, an undead vampire apparently has enough viable sperm to impregnate a human woman while fucking her off the coast of Rio de Janero. Stephenie Meyer, you fabulous idiot!

The baby in Bella's belly starts growing incredibly fast. And it starts hurting Bella, as each kick it gives has the super strength of a vampire behind it. As it grows, Bella gets sicker, and then the good stuff starts. The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella's ribs and then severs her spine. Are you imagining Kristen Stewart wearing a fake pregnancy belly and pretending to have been suddenly crippled by her own fetus? Because I am and it's making me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Oh wait, I missed something. Edward is completely freaked out about the baby, fearing it will kill Bella. He tries to convince her to get an abortion (but seriously, how could she? Vampires are tough to kill even in this shitty series), and goes so far as asking Native American wolfboy Jacob to impregnate his wife so that she can have the baby she desperately wants. I'm dizzy with how ridiculous this is, and we're just getting started.

Eventually the baby starts to get born and Bella is dying. The baby has telepathy, by the way, so everybody can read its thoughts while it's in the womb, and it turns out to have an essentially adult mind. Like Alia in Dune; I would accuse Stephenie Meyer of ripping this off, but anyone who thinks that Meyer might have read Frank Herbert has never been within spitting distance of Twilight. The woman is a moron.
In a moment that demands to be shown on the silver screen, Edward gives Bella an emergency C-section with his fucking teeth. It's like something out of XTro, for the love of God. It's so horrible it's brilliant, and this scene alone is why I remain firm in declaring that David Cronenberg must direct Breaking Dawn. This is surely his movie.

Once the baby is out, Bella gets vamped by Edward, as she's about to die at any moment. Then comes the most astonishing turn of events in 21st century literature, and possibly in the entire history of awful fiction aimed at tweens: Jacob the werewolf, who has been madly in love with Bella, sees the new baby girl and immediately imprints on her. What this means, in layman's terms, is that he falls in love with the baby.

I want to pull this out on its own: Jacob falls in love with a baby.

The book makes no bones about this; while Jacob doesn't want to fuck the baby right off the bat, he can't stand to be away from it and visits everyday. His love has been transferred from Bella to the baby (who has the tongue shattering name Renesmee), and because of the science behind imprinting he'll love her forever. So one day he's going to stick his wolf dick in this girl that he see as a bloody newborn. Romance is not dead, it's just being abused by insane Mormon writers.

Edited by outsidedream86, 10 July 2010 - 05:49 PM.

[Adina]

Everyone is such an Eclipse hater.
I enjoyed that movie. -_-

[iargue]

Everyone is such an Eclipse hater.
I enjoyed that movie. -_-

Now, I have to know.

Did you enjoy the movie because

a)It was so closely related to the books
b)The social interactions were so epically believeable
c)The best action scenes live eva
d)The actors are sooooo hot
e)You're braindead, or retarded?

[Adina]

Now, I have to know.

Did you enjoy the movie because

a)It was so closely related to the books
b)The social interactions were so epically believeable
c)The best action scenes live eva
d)The actors are sooooo hot
e)You're braindead, or retarded?

I was entertained.

Read the books, and I wanted to put pictures to words.
That's all.

[luvsmyncis]

I was entertained.

Read the books, and I wanted to put pictures to words.
That's all.

LOL at your Rpatzz avatar. I used to use a picture from that same shoot as mine. 




I should bring it back, it's so dreamy.

[Adina]

LOL at your Rpatzz avatar. I used to use a picture from that same shoot as mine.




I should bring it back, it's so dreamy.

Pfff, I'm irritated.
I liked him before all this Twilight crap.
Ever since Harry Potter. <3

Plus, I got mad love for his awesome sex hair.

[Redemptionist]

LMAO probably killed himself from being forced to watch it.

[Nonygirl]

I can't wait for the next movie after I read this review. It's best review ever for the Breaking Dawn book [Warning: spoilers if you actually care]

I think they're going to pussy out and not actually show that in the movie. It'll probably have a happy scene where they have the baby and that's all.

Kirsten Stewart is not a good enough actor to pull off such a scene, but they still should hahaha.

[fruityone]

*Twitch* I'm ashamed of my fellow NZers, I really am.

[Greatgenes]

I think they're going to pussy out and not actually show that in the movie. It'll probably have a happy scene where they have the baby and that's all.

Kirsten Stewart is not a good enough actor to pull off such a scene

yeah i think so too, i read the books and i have seen the movies i like both but i do not think kirsten stewart was a good choice to play bella, not to mention her acting seems to lack ...alot....altho i cant say robert pattison did much better.

[MiladyM]

I was entertained.

Read the books, and I wanted to put pictures to words.
That's all.

I learned its best not to relate the books too much to the movie. Its two totally different things, and mostly makes the movie/series bad. I did "enjoy" the movie, but that was pure for the eyecandy really.

Edited by Milady, 19 July 2010 - 05:14 AM.