Abbles

PG 13 joke...it's an old joke, but the only one I can ever remember

There are two guys who go camping far in the woods.  While they're out there, one of them decides to wander off to go to the bathroom and is bitten by a snake on the butt.

The guys panic as it's a poisonous snake.  Worried about his bitten buddy, the other guy calls 9-11 to get him help.  Finding out that they are nowhere near help, the 9-11 operator gives him advice to keep him alive until help gets there.  "You'll need to cut where he was bitten and suck out the venom to keep him alive until help gets there." she says.

The bitten guy asks his friend, "What did she say?"

"I'm sorry, man, she said you're going to die."

No idea if anyone is as into audiobooks as me, but I'll give this thread a try.  I have an incredibly monotonous job so I listen to audiobooks all day.  I prefer Audible because of its ease of use.  I have close to 200 books in my collection so far.

I tend to enjoy the fantasy genre and lately I've been listening to the whole "living-inside-a-game" subgenre nicknamed LitRPG.

Some of my favorites from my collection:

Harry Potter - I have all of these by Jim Dale

Artemis Fowl - Not as good as HP, but man it's still pretty good YA fantasy.  It's about a young egotistic genius who pokes his nose into the world of creatures like faerie etc. 

Hell's Super - This series actually made me laugh, it's pretty funny but depends on your sense of humor I guess.  It's about the guy in hell who is superintendent (fixes everything that breaks in hell).  His assistant is Orson Welles, and it features a well rounded cast of characters.

In the living-inside-a-game genre:

Survival Quest - a man is arrested under false charges and sentenced to hard labor inside the virtual reality mine of a video game.

Play to Live - a man dying of cancer decides to go "perma", which is to say he downloads his soul into a game similar to Runescape or WoW.  Great series though slows down toward the end.

Off to Be The Wizard - a man discovers the world he's living in is all just a computer simulation meaning it can be altered by access to a specific file he accidentally found.

Superhero adventure:

Don't Tell My Parents I'm a SuperVillain - a young girl is the daughter of two retired superheroes and is just coming into her powers.  Due to no fault of her own, she becomes a supervillain...and find she enjoys it, and what's more is good at it.

The Rules of Supervillainy - a guy decides to become a supervillain when his brother dies due to a hero.  He finds he is not very good at it (at first).  Hilarity ensues.

End of the World

The Hunger Games - Enjoyed the first book, the last two sucked.

Divergent - Enjoyed the first book, need to finish the series.

The Maze Runner - Same as The Hunger Games, good first book but horrible ending

And btw, there is a really good free book though it's rather short:  It's called The Dispatcher.  In the near future, people can't die by murder, only through suicide and natural causes.  If you're murdered, you simply reappear as you were several hours before in your bed at home. 

For example, if you are undergoing a risky surgery, and it seems you are about to die, a dispatcher will murder you so you appear in your bed rather than dying a final death through a doctor's carelessness, etc.