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Black barbie up all night having fun I like to party just like the White ones
Posted by Mishelle,
27 October 2012
·
763 views
I've pieced together the events of last night. First here's what I remember.
We get to the party and it's in the middle of fucking nowhere. I had to walk across gravel and rocks in my expensive stilettos to get to the party. So I'm already not happy. I'm dressed as Nicki, obvi. My friend Adi is a French maid. Willie is Beyonce and Brandon is a Tequila boy. Brandon offers to pour our shots the entire night, something I take full advantage of. I start off with 2 shots of tequila.
Then we have to go and take pictures. They have this fog machine that's working way too fucking well and I can't even see shit. And they have this big hairy spider that drops from the ceiling at random and freaks everyone out. At first I was kind of uncomfortable since the party seemed a bit cliquey. All the people who knew each other were just sitting in circles talking but I got over that and got the party started.
Adrianna, the girl who threw the party. Had her boyfriend giving crazy ass truck rides around the property. I opted out because I heard the last time they did that shit the truck almost flipped over. Plus I wanted to keep my wig on my head. So while my friends were getting the truck ride I started playing fetch with this OCD dog and talking to Adrianna, and taking more tequila shots. I swear that dog was fucking efficient. Every time I would throw the ball she'd have it back in like 4 seconds and if you didn't throw it she would just nudge it closer and closer to your feet and give you puppy dog eyes. So finally I decide I'm gonna give this dog the time of her fucking life, so I launch the ball super far away. She brings it back, so I'm like, ok this time I'm gonna throw it a bit further and I throw the damn ball so hard I lose balance in my heels and I fall. But it's ok, I'm not hurt so I just take that as a cue that I need to get the fuck out of those heels and I switch to black flats.
By the time I get back my friends are done with the truck ride and they want more shots, but tequila boy doesn't pour tequila, he pours us all 151. Oh shit. One of our co-worders, well ex-coworkers because she quit recently was there and we just don't like her because she says stupid shit. For example, me and Tequila boy are chilling by the drinks and he talks about how this is the first party he's been to where the music has been good. I'm like "yeah I was so excited when I walked in and Black Sabbath was playing. Melissa jumps in and says "you know Black Sabbath?" and I'm like "yeahhh" and she goes "Oh I'm sorry I'm just surprised when Black people know good music."
.....ok bitch. Me and Brandon side eye her and make our way back to the kitchen.
Once we get back to the kitchen we have to keep trying to stop this Chinese exchange student Freya from drinking because she has to drive home. She keeps talking about how in China drinks have more alcohol content and I'm trying to tell her "bitch this is AMURKA, if they catch you driving drunk you're going to be fucked." So I steal her drink and I drink it. So me, tequila boy, willie, adi, adrianna and freya are sitting at the kitchen table because it's cold as hell outside and Freya starts up a game of spin the bottle. Adrianna opts out because ~she has a boyfriend~ even though there's only one straight boy at the table. Adi opts out, just because. So it's just us four and for some damn reason the bottle keeps landing on me. Everyone wants a piece of Nicki. Then they peer pressure me into giving Tequila boy a Nicki-esque lapdance and I do and fucking Adrianna tapes it. I'm not happy with my shenanigans being filmed. Tequila boy slaps my ass and tries to hit on me, I tell him he aint ready for this jelly and I go get a beer.
Finally Beyonce has had too much and passes out at the kitchen table. So of course we all take pictures posing around passed out Beyonce. We move the queen to the couch and we continue partying. Tequila boy drags me to the beer pong table and makes me be his partner even though I've stated over and over that I suck at this fucking game, he's trying to get me wasted and he's not getting in my dress. Of course the other team who just got to the party and is sober kicks our asses. Queen Beyonce wakes up and wants to go home so we all get back in the car. After I got into the car I blacked out.
I remember waking up to throw up but I don't remember where. Willie told me Tequila boy gave me his sombrero to throw up in. How sweet. I still don't know how I lost my wig and one shoe but Willie woke up and told me that he has them in his room. Tequila boy walked me to my door and I just remember ripping all my clothes off, throwing all my jewelry on the floor and passing out in the bed.
It was a good night. I'll post more pictures when I get them.
Here's one of me in full make up.
We get to the party and it's in the middle of fucking nowhere. I had to walk across gravel and rocks in my expensive stilettos to get to the party. So I'm already not happy. I'm dressed as Nicki, obvi. My friend Adi is a French maid. Willie is Beyonce and Brandon is a Tequila boy. Brandon offers to pour our shots the entire night, something I take full advantage of. I start off with 2 shots of tequila.
Then we have to go and take pictures. They have this fog machine that's working way too fucking well and I can't even see shit. And they have this big hairy spider that drops from the ceiling at random and freaks everyone out. At first I was kind of uncomfortable since the party seemed a bit cliquey. All the people who knew each other were just sitting in circles talking but I got over that and got the party started.
Adrianna, the girl who threw the party. Had her boyfriend giving crazy ass truck rides around the property. I opted out because I heard the last time they did that shit the truck almost flipped over. Plus I wanted to keep my wig on my head. So while my friends were getting the truck ride I started playing fetch with this OCD dog and talking to Adrianna, and taking more tequila shots. I swear that dog was fucking efficient. Every time I would throw the ball she'd have it back in like 4 seconds and if you didn't throw it she would just nudge it closer and closer to your feet and give you puppy dog eyes. So finally I decide I'm gonna give this dog the time of her fucking life, so I launch the ball super far away. She brings it back, so I'm like, ok this time I'm gonna throw it a bit further and I throw the damn ball so hard I lose balance in my heels and I fall. But it's ok, I'm not hurt so I just take that as a cue that I need to get the fuck out of those heels and I switch to black flats.
By the time I get back my friends are done with the truck ride and they want more shots, but tequila boy doesn't pour tequila, he pours us all 151. Oh shit. One of our co-worders, well ex-coworkers because she quit recently was there and we just don't like her because she says stupid shit. For example, me and Tequila boy are chilling by the drinks and he talks about how this is the first party he's been to where the music has been good. I'm like "yeah I was so excited when I walked in and Black Sabbath was playing. Melissa jumps in and says "you know Black Sabbath?" and I'm like "yeahhh" and she goes "Oh I'm sorry I'm just surprised when Black people know good music."
.....ok bitch. Me and Brandon side eye her and make our way back to the kitchen.
Once we get back to the kitchen we have to keep trying to stop this Chinese exchange student Freya from drinking because she has to drive home. She keeps talking about how in China drinks have more alcohol content and I'm trying to tell her "bitch this is AMURKA, if they catch you driving drunk you're going to be fucked." So I steal her drink and I drink it. So me, tequila boy, willie, adi, adrianna and freya are sitting at the kitchen table because it's cold as hell outside and Freya starts up a game of spin the bottle. Adrianna opts out because ~she has a boyfriend~ even though there's only one straight boy at the table. Adi opts out, just because. So it's just us four and for some damn reason the bottle keeps landing on me. Everyone wants a piece of Nicki. Then they peer pressure me into giving Tequila boy a Nicki-esque lapdance and I do and fucking Adrianna tapes it. I'm not happy with my shenanigans being filmed. Tequila boy slaps my ass and tries to hit on me, I tell him he aint ready for this jelly and I go get a beer.
Finally Beyonce has had too much and passes out at the kitchen table. So of course we all take pictures posing around passed out Beyonce. We move the queen to the couch and we continue partying. Tequila boy drags me to the beer pong table and makes me be his partner even though I've stated over and over that I suck at this fucking game, he's trying to get me wasted and he's not getting in my dress. Of course the other team who just got to the party and is sober kicks our asses. Queen Beyonce wakes up and wants to go home so we all get back in the car. After I got into the car I blacked out.
I remember waking up to throw up but I don't remember where. Willie told me Tequila boy gave me his sombrero to throw up in. How sweet. I still don't know how I lost my wig and one shoe but Willie woke up and told me that he has them in his room. Tequila boy walked me to my door and I just remember ripping all my clothes off, throwing all my jewelry on the floor and passing out in the bed.
It was a good night. I'll post more pictures when I get them.
Here's one of me in full make up.
