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I'm so done with bars

Posted by Mishelle, 04 November 2012 · 1120 views

I live in a small city right next to the biggest marine base on the west coast. That is also the only city where you can find bars, and this doesn't bode well with me. Every time I try to go to Oceanside to go their bars some shit goes down because it seems no one there knows how to get drunk without acting a hot mess. It's also the only place one can catch a train to leave the city. I had to come here to LA on Friday so after work I made plans with my friend Willie to go drinking at one of the bars there before my train comes. In my mind I felt that since we were going during the day, it will be better and there will be less alcoholics ruining people's nights.

I was wrong.

We're not even in the city 10 minutes before we encounter some BS, Willie is quite feminine so people just look at the way he walks and make comments about his sexuality. We're passing one bar to get to our bar and this neanderthal practically falls out of the bar, looks at us and goes "DAMN EVEN THAT GUY LOOKS HOT. I WANNA FUCK BOTH YALL, HEY EVERYONE! I'M GOING TO FUCK THAT GUY RIGHT THERE!" We try to ignore him because he's just drunk, stupid and not funny.We go to the liquor store to get some vodka to pregame because we still have time before happy hour starts. We walk down this alley into a secluded corner that smells like pee to pour our 99 Bananas into our bottles of apple juice. Which tastes amazing, you guys should try it sometime. So we're leaving the alley and walking and we pass this couple and the guy like looks as us and then grabs his girlfriend really tight. Idk if it's because he didn't want to catch Willie's gay or because I was obviously going to pull a gun out of my bright pink rolly backpack, Willie was going to pull a gun out of his off the shoulder Donald Duck sweater and we were going to rob them on the spot. Cuz we were totally planning to do that. We finally get to the Cantina and we take full advantage of happy hour. Then it's time to leave and I have to go hop on my train. I'm bag lady and I have my rolly suitcase and my giant hobo bag and I'm trying to dig through my bag to find my train tickets and I have Willie pull my suitcase. We're walking and from far away we hear faint yelling "faggot! faggot! hey faggot!" I flip them off because that's just obnoxious and they call me a bitch, of course. After we try to ignore them. But they still keep going. I turn around to just get a look who these assholes are and they're far away behind us and they're just standing on the corner yelling obscenities. At this point I realize, ok we've got some mini cholo gangster wannabes over here. They're far away but I can still tell I'm about the same height as both these guys and Willie and I could totally take them. Sadly, I have a train to catch so me and Willie just start screaming shit back at them because we're drunk and bold.

Me: YOU BITCHES ARE 12!
Willie: FAGGOT IS MY MIDDLE NAME, COME AT US WHEN YOUR BALLS DROP!

As you can see, we're super witty drunk people. But of course they keep calling me a bitch, and him a faggot, and staying firmly put on their corners. They're probably on parole or something and just want to look hard. Thirsty ass children. It's times like this that makes me wish I had a gun and lived in Nymh's town because these people really needed a killin.

Anyway, I make it on my train and I spend the rest of my train ride sitting next to this marine who blasted nothing but dubstep and Nicki Minaj from his iPod. I had to finish my drink on the train to deal with that crazyness.



idonotexist
Nov 04 2012 01:05 PM
Hmm, this story seems to echo a lot of crap I dealt with and still deal with on a daily basis and I'm not "feminine" at all. (Not masculine by any means either)
I've realized most morons who shout shit like that are all talk.
I've stood my ground every time someone has tried to come at me thinking because I'm a "faggot" that I'd tremble with fear and run.

Nonsense like this just rolls off my shoulder now, which is kind of sad when you think about it.
Even more interesting is that my city recently elected it's first openly gay mayor a few years ago. xD
It's a liberal city in the conservative bible belt south. Strange paradox really...
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Yeah I think effected me more than it effected Willie which made me sad that he was so used to it. Our area is very conservative but at the same time people keep their racism and homophobia more subtle with their "we don't need welfare queens here, let's protect family" bumper sticker bullshit. So it's kind of an initial shock when people are so in your face about it, but not all that surprising considering the fundies who live here.
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Whoa, wait. Apple juice and 99 bananas? Someone needs to make this kid pop out cause I wanna try it.
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It is heavenly, and it gets you fucked up
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Come to Cali
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Initial comment: Didn't know you live near SD.

<resumes reading of entire blog post>
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