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Hey all. So for those of you who don't know me, I'm Boggart and I was a very active member in the past.
This is basically an update as to what I've been up to in this past year, and presently.
So as most of you know, I was in my first serious relationship back in March 2012. It was a really good relationship for awhile that took up most of my time because we spent 6-7 days a week together and lived super close to each other so any and all spare time was spent together. Being my first relationship, I didn't see the crazy amount of problems we had. Things were great in March and April, and it slowly began to decline as of May 2012.
In August of 2012, I basically realized that I was working at a dead-end job. I was there for 3 years and I was making the same wage as someone who I was training and I was the best worker there by far. I had all the knowledge and basically, the responsibilities of supervisor who makes $18 an hour but I got paid crap. When I talked to my boss and asked for a well-deserved raise, he basically said "if I give you a raise, then I have to give everyone a raise. Sorry unions LOL". I quit shortly after that and found a shitty job working at Perkins as a bus-boy. Making even less, with people who I was unfamiliar with at a job that was even more degrading.
In September, I returned to the choir where my (now) ex and I met. The people in the choir were fucked up and basically didn't give a shit about me and believe me, I tried being friendly and making friends. No matter what I did, no one seemed to like me and getting along with everyone is my thing. I basically got depressed every time I went to choir rehearsal because I just felt so unwelcome and unwanted.
In October, my ex cheated on me and we broke up. It was really out of the blue and slapped me across the face. It was so dramatic on both sides with him begging for me back and saying he'll kill himself if I don't forgive him and me just constantly crying because he betrayed me. People in the choir took his side even though he cheated on me. He still texted me everyday alternating between wanting me back and saying he wanted to see other people. He started dating someone two weeks after he cheated within the same choir (not telling him that he cheated on me when he broke up).
In November, I started becoming way closer with people from musical theatre in two months than I did with my choir after a year and a half. Compounded with my ex just constantly sending me awful, awful hurtful texts, I decided to leave my choir even though I love music. My job at Perkins was super shitty, and I hated working. I basically hated everything. My sister, my confidant, went to South Africa to volunteer and I was so alone. I'm not out to my parents for my own safety, so I couldn't even talk to them. I had to pretend nothing was going on even though I just wanted to talk to them about it.
In December was finals. I did pretty poorly on my finals due to my emotional state. But my friend and I drove to another province so he could propose to his girlfriend who was there for (3 weeks of) school. That was a highlight. But otherwise, I basically became depressed. Genuinely depressed. I had no motivation for life anymore. The last few months showed me that the main mantra of how I was raised "if you try hard enough, you will succeed", was bullshit. It wasn't true with my choir (friends), work, relationships, or school. I just felt "what's the point of doing anything when doing nothing is so much easier?". I became self-destructive.
In January, I met my other ex whose name is Shaun. He really helped me realize that I was in an extremely toxic relationship with my other ex and that I was, in fact, worth something. Around the same time I got a job as a waiter at a sushi restaurant which had GREAT tips. I became closer with my musical theatre friends and I was spending more time with my other friends because I was the best-man at my friend's wedding so I got to hang out with them way more than last semester. My one friend, Janaiya, was really supportive even though I was super depressed and mostly just horrible company during this entire time. I'm not exaggerating when I say she potentially saved my life because I was on such a destructive path and she made sure I didn't do anything I would regret.
In March, Shaun and I broke up. I had to end things because he had his own issues, and I wasn't strong enough to deal with them when I was going through my own problems. I still feel like a dick for doing it because he was a super sweet guy who would never hurt me unlike my last ex, but the timing was just all wrong. I wasn't able to listen to him talk about his problems when I was still recovering from my own depression. I cried a lot when we broke up, but I knew it was the right choice for me.
This summer, I was working, spending a shit-ton of time with my friends, and studying for the MCAT. I really realized how much I love me-time because I deserve me time. People say I need to be more selfish, but no, I just need some time for me. My best friend got married, I wrote my MCAT, and had to say goodbye to Janaiya as she went to Europe for law. It was a great summer full of amazing and bitter-sweet times.
Currently, I'm back in school finishing my honours project with a prof studying gonadal development in C. Elegans. I got my MCAT score back not too long ago and I'm pretty happy with it, especially for a first write. I applied to med schools across the country last weekend and I'm waiting to hear back from interviews. I joined a different choir where I knew most of the people from musical theatre, and I'm taking another year of musical theatre with so many people that I genuinely care about, and care about me. Life is back on track, and I'm happy to say that whatever depression I had is gone and that... life is good
I'm single, as i want to be, and while school still sucks, it's nice to be able to say "I'm happy" and actually mean it.
I doubt anyone will read all of this, but I just wanted to update the people who I used to talk to on the daily here, if you're all still around. Codex is my internet family and I genuinely have missed a lot of you. <3
tl;dr
I was in a shitty job, a shitty relationships, had shitty people in my life and within a few months of each other, it all blew up in my face. I got sad, it slowly got better, and now I'm happy with life and I love Neocodex.
Boggy
This is basically an update as to what I've been up to in this past year, and presently.
So as most of you know, I was in my first serious relationship back in March 2012. It was a really good relationship for awhile that took up most of my time because we spent 6-7 days a week together and lived super close to each other so any and all spare time was spent together. Being my first relationship, I didn't see the crazy amount of problems we had. Things were great in March and April, and it slowly began to decline as of May 2012.
In August of 2012, I basically realized that I was working at a dead-end job. I was there for 3 years and I was making the same wage as someone who I was training and I was the best worker there by far. I had all the knowledge and basically, the responsibilities of supervisor who makes $18 an hour but I got paid crap. When I talked to my boss and asked for a well-deserved raise, he basically said "if I give you a raise, then I have to give everyone a raise. Sorry unions LOL". I quit shortly after that and found a shitty job working at Perkins as a bus-boy. Making even less, with people who I was unfamiliar with at a job that was even more degrading.
In September, I returned to the choir where my (now) ex and I met. The people in the choir were fucked up and basically didn't give a shit about me and believe me, I tried being friendly and making friends. No matter what I did, no one seemed to like me and getting along with everyone is my thing. I basically got depressed every time I went to choir rehearsal because I just felt so unwelcome and unwanted.
In October, my ex cheated on me and we broke up. It was really out of the blue and slapped me across the face. It was so dramatic on both sides with him begging for me back and saying he'll kill himself if I don't forgive him and me just constantly crying because he betrayed me. People in the choir took his side even though he cheated on me. He still texted me everyday alternating between wanting me back and saying he wanted to see other people. He started dating someone two weeks after he cheated within the same choir (not telling him that he cheated on me when he broke up).
In November, I started becoming way closer with people from musical theatre in two months than I did with my choir after a year and a half. Compounded with my ex just constantly sending me awful, awful hurtful texts, I decided to leave my choir even though I love music. My job at Perkins was super shitty, and I hated working. I basically hated everything. My sister, my confidant, went to South Africa to volunteer and I was so alone. I'm not out to my parents for my own safety, so I couldn't even talk to them. I had to pretend nothing was going on even though I just wanted to talk to them about it.
In December was finals. I did pretty poorly on my finals due to my emotional state. But my friend and I drove to another province so he could propose to his girlfriend who was there for (3 weeks of) school. That was a highlight. But otherwise, I basically became depressed. Genuinely depressed. I had no motivation for life anymore. The last few months showed me that the main mantra of how I was raised "if you try hard enough, you will succeed", was bullshit. It wasn't true with my choir (friends), work, relationships, or school. I just felt "what's the point of doing anything when doing nothing is so much easier?". I became self-destructive.
In January, I met my other ex whose name is Shaun. He really helped me realize that I was in an extremely toxic relationship with my other ex and that I was, in fact, worth something. Around the same time I got a job as a waiter at a sushi restaurant which had GREAT tips. I became closer with my musical theatre friends and I was spending more time with my other friends because I was the best-man at my friend's wedding so I got to hang out with them way more than last semester. My one friend, Janaiya, was really supportive even though I was super depressed and mostly just horrible company during this entire time. I'm not exaggerating when I say she potentially saved my life because I was on such a destructive path and she made sure I didn't do anything I would regret.
In March, Shaun and I broke up. I had to end things because he had his own issues, and I wasn't strong enough to deal with them when I was going through my own problems. I still feel like a dick for doing it because he was a super sweet guy who would never hurt me unlike my last ex, but the timing was just all wrong. I wasn't able to listen to him talk about his problems when I was still recovering from my own depression. I cried a lot when we broke up, but I knew it was the right choice for me.
This summer, I was working, spending a shit-ton of time with my friends, and studying for the MCAT. I really realized how much I love me-time because I deserve me time. People say I need to be more selfish, but no, I just need some time for me. My best friend got married, I wrote my MCAT, and had to say goodbye to Janaiya as she went to Europe for law. It was a great summer full of amazing and bitter-sweet times.
Currently, I'm back in school finishing my honours project with a prof studying gonadal development in C. Elegans. I got my MCAT score back not too long ago and I'm pretty happy with it, especially for a first write. I applied to med schools across the country last weekend and I'm waiting to hear back from interviews. I joined a different choir where I knew most of the people from musical theatre, and I'm taking another year of musical theatre with so many people that I genuinely care about, and care about me. Life is back on track, and I'm happy to say that whatever depression I had is gone and that... life is good
I'm single, as i want to be, and while school still sucks, it's nice to be able to say "I'm happy" and actually mean it.I doubt anyone will read all of this, but I just wanted to update the people who I used to talk to on the daily here, if you're all still around. Codex is my internet family and I genuinely have missed a lot of you. <3
tl;dr
I was in a shitty job, a shitty relationships, had shitty people in my life and within a few months of each other, it all blew up in my face. I got sad, it slowly got better, and now I'm happy with life and I love Neocodex.
Boggy
So yeah I'm the right track back on life.
Glad things are looking up for you again.
Always believe you are worth more, because you are. We all are. ♡