1
50 non-boring questions. I hope I don't scare you too much.
WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU LIKE TO RETAIN YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE. This is for me to vent.
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Probably 22 or 23 because that's the age around most people who finish undergrad are around. If solely based on my mental age, I'd say 14.
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying. Regret from inertness is much worse than regret from poor proactive decisions.
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY sex MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY ego issues MONEY MONEY sweatpants
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
No. If I've truly done everything, I probably would be too humble to say anything.
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
I'd probably re-hardwire the male psyche to stop thinking about having sex a lot by removing the "find, fuck, flee" mentality. That's where I think the world's evil can be traced from.
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Tax collector/IRS agent.
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I believe in anti-bipolarization towards free thought and decision-making. I show contempt for forcing me to pick one or the other instead of picking something in the grey middle.
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I would fuck more.
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I will not have a place to myself until I'm 24/25, fresh out of grad school, and enough debt from student loans to make Donald Trump hire me out of pity. At least I made those decisions. I consider myself having a good grasp of reality.
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Doing things right. Practicality over idealism.
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
Stuff all their food into my mouth. Stand up. And leave. And then probably run to the restroom to upchuck their disgusting food. When I return, they'll ask me why I did what I did. I'll say, "You all could stand to lose a few pounds. You should be thanking me."
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Everyone you meet in life will disappoint you. Instead of yearning for someone, use the time to make the person you've always been looking for in yourself.
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
I would murder another man to preserve my own ego.
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
All the time in front of a mirror.
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Think beyond the realm of reason and conventional logic.
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because I don't expect everyone to know the joys of creative destruction and psychological warfare. Some people like long walks on the beach. I enjoy oil spills and the delicately crafted mindfuck.
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
I really want to lock up Tina Fey. She is my only threat in this world.
Money and connections, for now at least.
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Grudges from extreme ones like US President's Cabinet concerning themselves with self-preservation than the obvious good to small ones like people who don't signal when they change lanes. Sucks for them I have a photographic memory oddly enough only towards license plates.
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Canada because they pretty much got their shit together with respect to the rest of the world.
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
No and no because I'm not irrationally desperate.
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
I experienced both and out of the two, I'd rather be a worried genius. At least then, I know what makes me happy is something that truly makes me happy and not something someone behind a curtain hypnotized me to think of.
Why are you, you?
I am because I think and crap into a porcelain bowl on a daily basis. The second is very important.
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Yes, only as a friend with benefits. Otherwise, I would want to choke my own neck in a heated fist fight.
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
The former. That means I have to go out of my way to make a new friend. Making that one friend was probably pure luck. Making another one is asking for the impossible.
What are you most grateful for?
The ability to defecate and excrete waste on a homeostatic level. Oh and probably David Tennant.
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
The latter. It'll make me appreciate the moment more knowing I'll have no recollection of it.
Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Yes. Why challenge the truth head on when you can get around it and attack it from the rear?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
There was that time I tried on a pair of booty shorts...
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
I befriended a 25 year old Marine in a mentoring program. He wanted to be a high school chemistry teacher and was on standby during the "help these kids because they'll end up being homosexual drug addicts against God who are in an armored vehicle en transit to prison" program in my high school. He was then called back to service and died a few months later by friendly fire or faulty helicopter, I can't remember which. Got over like it a cold.
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
I was tricked into thinking a third rate harvest fair was Disney Land. I gained the ability of meta-cognition at a very young age and bent reality into something more enjoyable while cognitive of the so obvious lie.
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
I actually went to Disney Land last year and I didn't need to do any thinking on my part. I lived out those moments with genuine excitement and enjoyment, unfiltering the stimuli around me.
If not now, then when?
Later. Obviously.
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
My sanity, my dignity, my self-respect, my lunch.
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
All the time. I may be psychopath, but I do enjoy those time sitting on the bus ride home from a long day with one of my guy friends saying nothing with our thighs touching without either of us being bothered by it.
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Religions are not stupid. People are. I've yet to see someone who practices any religion wholesomely without bending any part of it for their convenience. In all honesty, I have no issue with any religion that doesn't have murder another human as a necessary practice or pillar.
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
Yes, but I would never want to know. They grey middle will always be the safest route.
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
AH HELL NO. A million dollars isn't enough for a stable lifetime. I calculated all possible expenses and if you were to live alone without aiding anyone else you would need 3.47 million. That number considers that last moment when you spend your last 110 bucks for drugs to overdose with.
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
More work that I enjoy. I want to work in a correctional facility or a rehab after I graduated. What could be more fun than surrounding yourself with a convicted gunman, pathological liars, and schizophrenics who claw at the walls at the sight of me? They think I'm the Anti-Jesus or something. Silly patients. They entertain me. Safe and law abiding citizens are boring acting passive aggressive in their cubicle. So cliche. So predictable. So unstimulating.
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Not at all. I learned how to use a Skip-It today.
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
Your use of metaphors is deplorable. Next.
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
The bartender.
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
I think that's how Tony Stark got famous.
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
The ability to control your bowels.
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
When intoxicated from alcohol and/or drugs.
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Isn't that just basic defense mechanism to protect us from harm? I'm pretty sure no one who jumped off a 19 story gorge without any safety equipment survives so that they would jump again. You know, because they're dead.
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I would wear sweatpants 24/7.
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Thanks a lot. Now I hear it. Stupid metacognition.
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love to write to write exciting adventures for that random person I spot walking alone from my bus seat. I'll let my iphone app of short one-shots be the judge of that.
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
No. No. No. If only my photographic memory of license plates applied to the rest of my life.
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I choose to not watch fireworks on the Fourth of July. I have some power in this world. Unless that's exactly what someone who's controlling me. Then fuck, others are making decisions for me.
Question #46: Did you realize that there only 45 questions?
WARNING: DO NOT READ
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Probably 22 or 23 because that's the age around most people who finish undergrad are around. If solely based on my mental age, I'd say 14.
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying. Regret from inertness is much worse than regret from poor proactive decisions.
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY sex MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY ego issues MONEY MONEY sweatpants
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
No. If I've truly done everything, I probably would be too humble to say anything.
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
I'd probably re-hardwire the male psyche to stop thinking about having sex a lot by removing the "find, fuck, flee" mentality. That's where I think the world's evil can be traced from.
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Tax collector/IRS agent.
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I believe in anti-bipolarization towards free thought and decision-making. I show contempt for forcing me to pick one or the other instead of picking something in the grey middle.
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I would fuck more.
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I will not have a place to myself until I'm 24/25, fresh out of grad school, and enough debt from student loans to make Donald Trump hire me out of pity. At least I made those decisions. I consider myself having a good grasp of reality.
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Doing things right. Practicality over idealism.
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
Stuff all their food into my mouth. Stand up. And leave. And then probably run to the restroom to upchuck their disgusting food. When I return, they'll ask me why I did what I did. I'll say, "You all could stand to lose a few pounds. You should be thanking me."
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Everyone you meet in life will disappoint you. Instead of yearning for someone, use the time to make the person you've always been looking for in yourself.
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
I would murder another man to preserve my own ego.
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
All the time in front of a mirror.
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Think beyond the realm of reason and conventional logic.
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because I don't expect everyone to know the joys of creative destruction and psychological warfare. Some people like long walks on the beach. I enjoy oil spills and the delicately crafted mindfuck.
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
I really want to lock up Tina Fey. She is my only threat in this world.
Money and connections, for now at least.
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Grudges from extreme ones like US President's Cabinet concerning themselves with self-preservation than the obvious good to small ones like people who don't signal when they change lanes. Sucks for them I have a photographic memory oddly enough only towards license plates.
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Canada because they pretty much got their shit together with respect to the rest of the world.
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
No and no because I'm not irrationally desperate.
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
I experienced both and out of the two, I'd rather be a worried genius. At least then, I know what makes me happy is something that truly makes me happy and not something someone behind a curtain hypnotized me to think of.
Why are you, you?
I am because I think and crap into a porcelain bowl on a daily basis. The second is very important.
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Yes, only as a friend with benefits. Otherwise, I would want to choke my own neck in a heated fist fight.
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
The former. That means I have to go out of my way to make a new friend. Making that one friend was probably pure luck. Making another one is asking for the impossible.
What are you most grateful for?
The ability to defecate and excrete waste on a homeostatic level. Oh and probably David Tennant.
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
The latter. It'll make me appreciate the moment more knowing I'll have no recollection of it.
Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Yes. Why challenge the truth head on when you can get around it and attack it from the rear?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
There was that time I tried on a pair of booty shorts...
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
I befriended a 25 year old Marine in a mentoring program. He wanted to be a high school chemistry teacher and was on standby during the "help these kids because they'll end up being homosexual drug addicts against God who are in an armored vehicle en transit to prison" program in my high school. He was then called back to service and died a few months later by friendly fire or faulty helicopter, I can't remember which. Got over like it a cold.
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
I was tricked into thinking a third rate harvest fair was Disney Land. I gained the ability of meta-cognition at a very young age and bent reality into something more enjoyable while cognitive of the so obvious lie.
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
I actually went to Disney Land last year and I didn't need to do any thinking on my part. I lived out those moments with genuine excitement and enjoyment, unfiltering the stimuli around me.
If not now, then when?
Later. Obviously.
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
My sanity, my dignity, my self-respect, my lunch.
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
All the time. I may be psychopath, but I do enjoy those time sitting on the bus ride home from a long day with one of my guy friends saying nothing with our thighs touching without either of us being bothered by it.
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Religions are not stupid. People are. I've yet to see someone who practices any religion wholesomely without bending any part of it for their convenience. In all honesty, I have no issue with any religion that doesn't have murder another human as a necessary practice or pillar.
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
Yes, but I would never want to know. They grey middle will always be the safest route.
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
AH HELL NO. A million dollars isn't enough for a stable lifetime. I calculated all possible expenses and if you were to live alone without aiding anyone else you would need 3.47 million. That number considers that last moment when you spend your last 110 bucks for drugs to overdose with.
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
More work that I enjoy. I want to work in a correctional facility or a rehab after I graduated. What could be more fun than surrounding yourself with a convicted gunman, pathological liars, and schizophrenics who claw at the walls at the sight of me? They think I'm the Anti-Jesus or something. Silly patients. They entertain me. Safe and law abiding citizens are boring acting passive aggressive in their cubicle. So cliche. So predictable. So unstimulating.
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Not at all. I learned how to use a Skip-It today.
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
Your use of metaphors is deplorable. Next.
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
The bartender.
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
I think that's how Tony Stark got famous.
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
The ability to control your bowels.
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
When intoxicated from alcohol and/or drugs.
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Isn't that just basic defense mechanism to protect us from harm? I'm pretty sure no one who jumped off a 19 story gorge without any safety equipment survives so that they would jump again. You know, because they're dead.
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I would wear sweatpants 24/7.
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Thanks a lot. Now I hear it. Stupid metacognition.
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love to write to write exciting adventures for that random person I spot walking alone from my bus seat. I'll let my iphone app of short one-shots be the judge of that.
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
No. No. No. If only my photographic memory of license plates applied to the rest of my life.
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I choose to not watch fireworks on the Fourth of July. I have some power in this world. Unless that's exactly what someone who's controlling me. Then fuck, others are making decisions for me.
Question #46: Did you realize that there only 45 questions?
Spoiler
