102 replies to this topic

[Elle]

How the fuck is my advice bad?

Like I said be the rebound guy, and then be good enough that she keeps you.

Its probably his best shot. :|

Rebound guys NEVER get seen as actual dating prospects. trust me.

[iargue]

Rebound guys NEVER get seen as actual dating prospects. trust me.

If you only are a rebound. If your better then a rebound, then you get seen as a prospect. I was a rebound guy and I lasted 2 and a half years. Thats quiet alot longer then a rebound normally lasts huh?

[Elle]

If you only are a rebound. If your better then a rebound, then you get seen as a prospect. I was a rebound guy and I lasted 2 and a half years. Thats quiet alot longer then a rebound normally lasts huh?

EDIT: i feel mean, so im erasing this.

Edited by Elle, 09 December 2010 - 04:17 AM.

[iargue]

yeah, well thats one relationship. your only relationship. therfore i deem you unable to give advice.

The only advice people can ever give is taken from what they have experienced. And I know its possible to start as a rebound, and go as more.

He already fucked that up anyways. Now he has to cross his fingers and pray to god that he doesn't get friend zoned. The only way out of the friend zone is through being a rebound.

EDIT: i feel mean, so im erasing this.

I already quoted it.

And I am not ashamed that I only have had one relationship.

[Elle]

damn you. unquote your quote i say.

you shouldnt be ashamed at all. im merely saying that this deems your advice on rebound guys and methods invalid.

[iargue]

damn you. unquote your quote i say.

you shouldnt be ashamed at all. im merely saying that this deems your advice on rebound guys and methods invalid.

How does it make it invalid?

[Elle]

because youre basing your opinion and advice on one incident. for all you know, that particular incident could have been one in a milllion.

[iargue]

because youre basing your opinion and advice on one incident. for all you know, that particular incident could have been one in a milllion.

It actually isn't just on one incident. Its on a lot of incidents. Just because it happened to me, doesn't mean it hasn't happened to other people. I have friends that it has happened to as well.

You dont know what I am using to give my advice from (Even though you should...) so you cant just deem it invalid.

[Elle]

im sure its happened to other people. maybe even people you know. im saying that this doesnt happen to the vast majority . rebound guys almost never become proper relationships.

[iargue]

im sure its happened to other people. maybe even people you know. im saying that this doesnt happen to the vast majority . rebound guys almost never become proper relationships.

Thats because they do things all wrong. Rebound guys are always like, weee sex, and everything. To be more then a relationship, you have to do more then just be a rebound guy.

Guys never do that. So guys are usually only rebounds.

[Barophobia]

See you dont get it though. :|. Whenever a girl gets dumped, or even does the dumping. She feels really really alone, and starts to worry that she will never find someone who will accept her for her. And thats whenever she is the most vulnerable. She wants to be held, so she feels less alone. :|.

But if your going to confess. Do it right. Dont fuck it up. Dont do it with other people around.

Because of cultural differences, I cant tell you what to do exactly.... but if my internet research on asian ladies is correct. Just pull out your dick. Those girls are horny.......

Alright, point taken

And I think you have 'asian' confused for japanese. Everyone in Singapore(yes thats where i live) has like a chastity belt on or something. Unless its some random chick i pick off at the club. >_>

Protips;
1. Dont rush her and be the rebound guy. But it's been 2 months so you're cook. Rebounds are (generally fairly quick after the breakup. You don't want to be the rebound guy because, quite frankly... Rebound relationships are just that... They get her back on her feet and confident then it's bye byes.

2. Don't be the friend that is always there. I do agree with iargue (for once) that you need to grow a pair and ask her. If you linger too long in the friend zone that's all you will be.

3. Don't take relationship advice from iargue. He likes to think he knows it all but like I remind him every now and then, he is still single. I try to use this as a last straw but honestly he is giving you SOME bad advice.

you made me lol :3

and yea, i agree with no2. That happened to my first crush. I wanted to 'get to know her better' and i just remained as friends until i finally got comfortable and wanted to ask her out. Then i realised that she wasnt interested in me anymore. Fuck 'getting to know you better'. I just want the romance. D: <

[Ali]

I don't even believe in the friend zone, I was fairly good friends with the Boy for years before we got together, never even considered anything happening and here I am married to him.

[iargue]

I don't even believe in the friend zone, I was fairly good friends with the Boy for years before we got together, never even considered anything happening and here I am married to him.

It exists. And I am pretty sure that you have liked guys, and then after a while stopped liking them and where friends only. I hate girls that claim they dont friend zone. Its all a lie.

[Ali]

Doubt it, everyone I've dated has been a friend for years first. And in fact, most of the relationships in my friendship group exist because of years in that friendship group.

I hate boys who have to blame the fact a girl doesn't like them on the fact they've been friends too long.

[Barophobia]

I don't even believe in the friend zone, I was fairly good friends with the Boy for years before we got together, never even considered anything happening and here I am married to him.

I'm so happy for you. Really. I wouldn't feel so insecure if i met someone like you ;_;.

It exists. And I am pretty sure that you have liked guys, and then after a while stopped liking them and where friends only. I hate girls that claim they dont friend zone. Its all a lie.

True dat.

Friend zone: "we've hung out for so long that I already know what you like and what you dislike, theres no fun in the game anymore"

[iargue]

Doubt it, everyone I've dated has been a friend for years first. And in fact, most of the relationships in my friendship group exist because of years in that friendship group.

I hate boys who have to blame the fact a girl doesn't like them on the fact they've been friends too long.

Its not the fact that they dont like this. Its when they liked you when you first where friends, and then grew out of it. and then you grow the balls and ask, and they are like, "I liked you once, but now I like you as a friend" Thats being friend zones.

And you may or may not be the exception that proves the rule. But I dont believe you anyways. sorry.

[Barophobia]

Well its nice to know that people like Ali exist in the world I guess. Though I believe very few.

[PeonYourLawn]

I already quoted it.

And I am not ashamed that I only have had one relationship.

First time I will take this dudes post seriously. Spoken like a true man you have my applause

No sarcasm this time

[Barophobia]

Well..... Having many relationships doesn't necessarily mean you rock at it.

From another POV, it just means you suck so bad that you keep breaking up. >_>..

[Inver]

*Ahem* Er... Mood rings are pretty cheap and fun to have. Cheaper than diamonds that is. I'm pretty sure every girl will agree that mood rings make one nifty gift. I'm only doing hand made gifts this year... But they will be super BADASS handmade gifts. Go art!

Meeh... Stop fighting...

Well..... Having many relationships doesn't necessarily mean you rock at it.

From another POV, it just means you suck so bad that you keep breaking up. >_>..

Some people get lucky! I've only had four... And the first three don't even feel like they really counted until this one...

[PeonYourLawn]

That statement goes both ways i guess. I think she has an idea that i like her, but I'm too shy to approach for now(she just broke up with her ex) and shes not the type to initiate.

We've known each other for 2years now, though i've only gotten close to her in around the 2nd year or so. If i were to say, im more of a close friend than anything else, which really sucks.

For starters, at this point your percieved value is relatively low, and the fact that she knows you like her gives her the edge. I would suggest raising your percieved value through a number of ways. Implement them correctly and you can steadily increase the sexual tension and attraction between you two.

What you need:
Attitude: You aren't going to win one if don't have the stones to lose them all. Be willing to approach and jump out of the comfort zone
Confidence: Fake it until you make it, groom yourself just don't try too hard. girls pick up on that

What to do:
1. Pre-selection. It is very natural for a girl who has known you for 2 years to have become comfortable with you. You're going to have to manifest a situation where you are able to raise your perceived value by building attraction with another female while your target is in your presence.
Quick run-down of how to build quick attraction with a female asap:

Spoiler

i) walk in 45 degree eyes on hers (by her self or group of women no worries)
ii) Body language : shoulders perpendicular to hers ( or the crowds) , a woman's compliance to a man with no value is to simply ignore them, don't give her the attention yet.
iii)(SPEAK UP) You: Hear me out for a second I need your guys opinion, Now I can only be here a minute because I have to rejoin my friends. [Time constraint (+Value)] *Speak slowly, practise in front of a mirror* Now take this seriously because it's a life changing discussion. My friend and I were wondering when is the best time to floss, before or after your brush?
iv) (point at each person and say before or after) When you get to your target instead say "Smile" and right away reply " definitely no floss" (funny + value). " But I can tell you have a C smile" <do all this in a jovial manner>
her<excitedly>:whats a c-smile?
- takeaway- turn around all the way until your back is turned and pretend to look for your friends. she will now grab your arm, anything she will touch u someway to get ur attention.
you: hands off the merchandise! this stuff aint free . (90% of girls will keep touching)
you: wow you are really rich eh, we're starting a tab here. she will say something just ignore it
you: so I had an ex-gf ( +value) and she had this philosophy with life. I mean I don't take it seriously but she said that there were two types of smiles in this world. A c-smile and a U-smile. Now a u-smile is when your teeth are like a horses, whereas a c-smile is a more friendly smile.
she: <insert female response>........... continue on without ever showing interest if you feel comfortable or you can end it with. " the only thing your eyes havent told me is your name "
she: ___name____ you: okay _____name_____ what steps can we take to continue this conversation later (if she begs u to stay dont take it) ...... get her number and walk away back to your real target

The whole point of this is to show that you can make women laugh and you can interact with them. The number will definitely be a conversation piece with her later that you can use.

2. Active Disqualification: Make it known to her that she is not good enough for you. "geez you must have driven your parents mad." " didnt I see you wearing this outfit a few weeks ago?" " i love how your nose wiggles/wrinkles when you laugh ... oh there it goes again!" Small pebbles like these will cause to her try and qualify herself to you. Thats right you're not turning the tables on her

3. Compliance : Compliance is directly related to value. If you have high value,she will comply to your commands. This is a basic scale of how it is with men and women goes like this

Spoiler

Men Marriage = ========== Sex Women
Expensive Gift ====== Fondling
Exclusiveness========Kissing
Date===============Meet you
Compliment=========Talk to you


Do you see the problem here with the normal compliance levels? the women hold a greater share of power. You need the reverse supplication method.
Plain and simple RSM: You want to increase her threshold while keeping yours the same.
1. You ask her to write you a poem
2. Got a talent? ask her to bring you the supplies/ make arrangements ie. Artist: ask her to bring you brushes so you can paint . Chef? ask her to bring food so you can make a meal.
Now remember, take it in small steps, time is abundant and compliance is malleable. You can't stretch a block of gold in one pull, Hammer it out and take your time.

I assume you've built plenty of rapport with her but the fact that you haven't stated any obvious tension between the two of you isn't a good indicator. iF YOU are going to go through and buy her something nice I would suggest just a quirky gift(inside jokes) followed by a moderately priced present for christmas. I don't think you should be spending your hard earned money on her yet. Especially if the compliance levels are way out of whack for you


Cheers,
Haruharu

[iargue]

I can tell you never make it past rebound....

[Barophobia]

*Ahem* Er... Mood rings are pretty cheap and fun to have. Cheaper than diamonds that is. I'm pretty sure every girl will agree that mood rings make one nifty gift. I'm only doing hand made gifts this year... But they will be super BADASS handmade gifts. Go art!

Meeh... Stop fighting...



Some people get lucky! I've only had four... And the first three don't even feel like they really counted until this one...

Glad you found a great bf~ :3



@Peon
copy pasta advice?! That or your other alias is haruharu. :x

I can tell you never make it past rebound....

What, who me?

Edited by barophobia, 09 December 2010 - 07:48 AM.

[PeonYourLawn]

@Peon
copy pasta advice?! That or your other alias is haruharu. :x

it is just stuff that i live by, u shud give it a read when u have time after finals i can guarantee the effectiveness of the information!

[jaredennisclark]

it is just stuff that i live by, u shud give it a read when u have time after finals i can guarantee the effectiveness of the information!

Edited by jaredennisclark, 09 December 2010 - 12:02 PM.