126 replies to this topic

[luvsmyncis]

There is no shame in being alone. The shame comes when you change certain aspects of yourself just for the approval or affection of others. How disgraceful.

[semore]

*patpat* It's ok. Just find a boyfriend that can make you laugh and you like being around. You will find it fun being around him and won't care about having fun around anyone else.

Or just drink next time you're at a party

[Melchoire]

Hey cool, I'm taking a course on data structures too =P

Back on topic though, I sorta feel the same way. I prefer smaller groups of friends over big ones and don't really dig huge parties. It's just not in my comfort zone. I don't see it as anything wrong with me but it's suffice for me when I get less social interaction than most other people are content with.

But are you unhappy with your current state?

[artificial]

I wish I could meet a girl like you, sound like such low maintenance.

I guess you'll either have to fake it or change your social circles.

[luvsmyncis]

I am pretty unhappy. It's not looking good. I want to do "fun" things like go outside, and do things outside, like... see I don't even know what people do when they go "outside".... but I want to do whatever they do to have fun

They're playing volleyball outside in the hot sun. Are you sure you want to do that?

[iargue]

Pretty much to be fun, you have to want to have fun

Wanting to stay inside and read a book != fun. You will never go out and have fun if you don't want to be there.

The "scene" with people is usually the movies on Friday, or a club/bar. If your 21, I would say go to a bar, and just hang out there with friends. If you don't have friends, go to a club, or go to the mall, and meet new friends. As a good your in a position where you can pretty much talk to anyone, and they wont turn you down, even other girls. Just go up, introduce yourself, and talk, and then get to know them, and make sure they get to know you. Then you have friends which you can hit up to go and dance at a club, or hang out at a bar, or go to the movies with. Or even go to parties with people.

If you don't like dancing, choose something that you don't have to dance. Go to parties where only some people are dancing and the rest are socializing. The key thing is to meet people, and once you have those people, to do just wahtever you want to have fun.

We've randomly gone on road trips. I got thrown out of the Hard Rock Casino in tampa 3 times in one night. I've peed off a skyscraper. I've gone streaking in the mall after it was closed. We've raced people in our cars. Driven our car on the beach. Ordered a hundred mchickens from mcdonalds because a cute girl worked there and we wanted to chat her up. I've rode on top of a car.

To honestly have fun, you can't think, "What would someone else do to have fun". Just group up, pick something to do, and do it. Everything should be on a whim. On more then one occasion I've gone to do something boring, like play minigolf, and ended doing something insane, like trying to climb to the top of a hotel using the firescape. Or stealing speeding signs and changing the speed limits on roads. Do a lot of stupid shit. Have a lot of fun. Don't regret anything


Or, you could sit at home and read a book. IF its what you find fun, there is nothing wrong with it.

[artificial]

You haven't been outside outside of school?

Maybe you should hookup with some of those vampiric/twilight forums. Can do all sorts of funky stuff in the night.

--

Going to a club/mall solo is such a desperate act. Don't listen to iargue. When you have to order 100 mchickens from mcdonalds to talk to a girl, you're doing something wrong.

Edited by Artificial, 19 June 2011 - 07:07 PM.

[Tetiel]

Pssh... who needs friends. They make you "do things" like go outside or other lame stuff. Scott's really pretty much my best and only friend. I do hang out with Scott's friends occasionally, too, but I feel very awkward around other females my age. Most of them are not at the same stage of life that I am. Those that are at the same stage are older and have kids or want kids and I sure as hell am not having those any time soon. I had a few friends in Toronto but it felt weird after I got married. Now all I really do is artwork, childcare, and random stuff like watching every episode of DS9 or Stargate with Scott. I don't really need a social life much because I am fulfilled.

If you're worried about being boring, do something that makes you happy. Do something that you can take pride in. I've climbed my way up to being a lead artist for an upcoming version of an online card game. I'm happy with that and I'd be happy to brag about it to new people that I meet despite it being a completely dorky, online profession. Do something that you love, and you'll be proud of yourself eventually.

You do not need to do things like dancing, drinking, or drugs to be happy. You already know those don't make you happy and to do it anyways to try is pretty much lying to yourself. You're a classic introvert. You'll kill yourself trying to change it so you might as well embrace your nature.

[Blueberry]

Erm, I dont really know. Im more of an extrovert (like, huge attention whore) so I love to socialize and I dont see how others dont like too

Personally, I would just focus on who you want to be, and not how others feel you should be. But if you wanted to be more fun, you could loosen up a bit. Talk a little more, be a bit louder, dress more colorful, have people think that your fun to be around. Its the little things that count.

[Kat]

I feel like I'm in the same situation you are in. But more recently I've found myself becoming more comfortable with how I am.
I have my boyfriend, and not really any "friend-friends" but he is my best friend. I kept thinking that I needed a girl best friend to make my life complete, but I realize now that I don't.
First, I'm just too damn busy. I go to school and I work really hard at it, and that's one thing I'm really good at. If I could go to school for a living I would. I also work. Part-time, but the rest of my time is either spent with my boyfriend, studying, or playing on the computer. And I have friends on the internet that I talk to and play games with, and that makes me happy.
I do go out sometimes, but not every weekend. I do have people that I socialize with, but I wouldn't consider them close friends.

I don't know really, maybe I'm just rambling. But I'm really happy where I am right now, and I don't need a lot of friends or the party life to feel that way..
I love just sitting around with my boyfriend and his friends drinking and chatting. I think I am socially satisfied with the simplest things, so why should I feel down about not going out clubbing are partying? I can't dance, I'm socially awkward, and I really just hate most people. I would get more stressed than fulfilled basically. That's just how I am; I would rather stay home and relax with the BF or play computer games. It's completely stress-free. And let's not forget drama free! I have a tendency to open my mouth and say things that get me in trouble..

Edit: Tetiel said it more perfectly than I could

Edited by Katrinas, 19 June 2011 - 07:33 PM.

[Melchoire]

Yah data structs is a bitch.
I am pretty unhappy. It's not looking good. I want to do "fun" things like go outside, and do things outside, like... see I don't even know what people do when they go "outside".... but I want to do whatever they do to have fun

That's a good question. I don't go out that often so I don't know =P When I do go out it's usually for a movie or a concert...I imagine they go to parties or go to bars and what not.

[Narcissa]

Uhm, sounds to me like you need a new group of friends that, you know, are actually interested in the same things you are. You make it sound like us geeky Comp Sci girls are few and far in between and that couldn't be further than the truth. Half of my classes are female; higher end computing classes are about a 1/3 ratio of male and females.

If you're an introvert, you're an introvert. Seems like the friends you have are more extrovert (fuck dancing.). Try and make some friends who're also introverts. They like their space and when they want to socialize, they do.

[iargue]

You haven't been outside outside of school?

Maybe you should hookup with some of those vampiric/twilight forums. Can do all sorts of funky stuff in the night.

--

Going to a club/mall solo is such a desperate act. Don't listen to iargue. When you have to order 100 mchickens from mcdonalds to talk to a girl, you're doing something wrong.

It wasn't just to talk to her, but we decided we wanted a hundred because she was working there. And then she hung out with us after she got off, and we had a lot of fun. The point in life is to just decide to do something, and do it.

[semore]

LOL iargue is a CHAMP

[Narcissa]

They are few and far in between. I have no idea where you go to school but it's nothing like that here or anywhere else that I know of.
It doesn't matter anyway. Non-social people are just as boring as I am (if not worse) so I don't want to hang out with them. I like being around exciting people even if Im not exciting myself.
Don't give me that whole "you need to give boring people a try" because I have... and no, just no. I don't want to talk about schoolwork after class.

Introverts aren't boring? They're just not super out going and like their space. There's PLENTY of ways to be "fun" as an introvert.

And here's the brunt of your issue; you're the one who's being the debby downer of your group because you don't want to do the things that they want to do. I'd be pretty pissed if one of my friends came to my birthday party, I asked her to dance with us and instead she sat around and did homework. That's just being plain rude. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do something you may not want to do in order to change yourself. Change is only enacted by taking yourself out of your comfort zone. If you're not even willing to do that then nothing is going to come about into making you more fun.

[Ladida]

I'm finishing univ on July 1st. I haven't gone out, socialized, done anything fun (unless you call Neopets fun) during any of the semesters. It seems almost everyone I know goes out doing a bunch of fun shit every other day. It's like they don't ever study, or even care what grade they get. They just want to hang out. I've been asked to hang out numerous times (they don't give up, wtf?) and I've always turned them down. Hang out two days before an exam to relax? Are you nuts? Go on a picnic when we have a test in two weeks? In your dreams! Meh, I wouldn't have gone to the party if I had an exam the next day, I mean you can't reverse your grades, but you can always promise to hang out and celebrate some other day. Your friend should understand. Instead you just looked bad to everyone there huddled up in a corner studying. You have time to make friends after you graduate. If you're like me, your life isn't going to start until you graduate. It's much easier to have fun when you're not worrying about how much time you're wasting when you could be studying. I don't drink, dance or do drugs, but neither do the friends I've had from high school, so when we hang out, we mainly just watch LOTR or play online MMORPGs.

On a side note, data structures had to have been one of my all time favourite courses, with all the pointers and linked lists. I'm glad I'm done with it anyway though

[Kido]

At this point in my college career (lulz) I'm the only girl in my classes. I don't have friends because the guys are all fobs who are way smarter than me and are all into programming and shit like that. Basically, you could say I'm surrounded by a bunch of shadowlink64's and hydrogens who dont speak a word of english. ^___^

Wow. That's like my comp sci class o.o Everyone's older than me, super smart and totally asian


Do you sit next to anyone in your classes? I find it best to talk about the class/assignments (casual things like "do we have a test tomorrow?" "What're you doing?" "How did you do that?" etc etc). Ask questions, greet them when they enter. Just seem social. Topics can change and every once in a while there's a chance you'll tell the person a little bit about yourself. Give it a few weeks and you might be able to learn more about the other person and vice versa.

You probably won't be the best of friends and once the class is over the best you can hope for is a wave when you somehow see them in the halls but at least it'll be something.

[artificial]

It wasn't just to talk to her, but we decided we wanted a hundred because she was working there. And then she hung out with us after she got off, and we had a lot of fun. The point in life is to just decide to do something, and do it.

You always complain about your life, so wouldn't the logical course of action be to listen to what you say, and then don't do it?

[Ladida]

You always complain about your life, so wouldn't the logical course of action be to listen to what you say, and then don't do it?

Ouch, that was harsh