70 replies to this topic

[DanDoesWork]

My girlfriend is currently being sued by her ex-boyfriend who left one year ago in New Jersey. He has requested that he wants to the ring back, or pay the 10,000$ that ring was worth and also intends on having her pay for all attorney fees, and costs that come with this process.

She has been outspoken that this was not a engagement ring, but a gift that they both went out to get on a random sunday morning. There was never a date set for marriage either like he has implied. So where in the world does he get this idea from? Admittingly the ring was bought under his name though but the ring was given to her a while ago.

Lets go with what he is saying though

By law in New Jersey it states that a engagement ring is considered a conditional gift. This is where I sort of raise my brow. I have actually heard him say that he was the one who left not just once but 3 times... Finally moving back with his ex wife. Doesn't this by default mean that she keeps the ring since HE broke it off? If she was the one to break off the relation then she would absolutely have to return the ring. But if he was the one who broke it off..then?

Not to mention this jerkoff called Dyfs on her since she didn't give the ring back and accused her of being a alcoholic, and giving her 3 girls alochol on a daily basis.

She can't quite afford to get a lawyer, but might try a public defender. How does one approach this issue?

[ShadowLink64]

If it was gratuitous, then he doesn't have any claim to it anymore. At least that's how I believe the law works with things that aren't binding through a written or oral contract as a loan or anything conditional. Then again, I find it hard to believe that a $10,000 ring was merely a gift and didn't have any other implications attached to it. It's also a horrible reminder of the crazy ex.

[Romy]

She should pawn it and say she lost it years ago.

[DanDoesWork]

Yes I know that 10,000$ is a lot of money. BUT this past ex had the money to afford it. Close to 500k A year. This has gotten her freaked out so bad.

Edited by DanDoesWork, 25 October 2012 - 10:16 PM.

[Scot]

You need to kill him.

[DaringDarling]

You need to kill him.

it is simple;
we kill the Batman

this is a difficult case, because there really are no witnesses to say if it was an engagement or not. Maybe her family can vouch that she was not planning a wedding?
Also, I don't think it matters all that much who broke it off.
DId she get ellaborate gifts other than the ring? Then she can say that it wasn't all that weird she got a 10k ring.
Good luck with the case!

[Chappy]

mmm I thought if a couple for a while breaks up. After 30 days the person with the item gets to keep it. And why does he want it a year later. @___@ I think its a gift if he didn't ask for it right away and if no marriage stages were initialized I don't think she even has to give it back.

[Sweeney]

Why not just give the little shit the ring?

[Turnip]

Why not just give the little shit the ring?

Yeah, I mean if he wants it that badly, surely giving him an item which is probably never going to be used anyway would be the best thing to do? D:

But man why the hell would you sue someone for not giving a gift back?? Wow it's a GIFT you gave to a person you no longer see or should care about, who cares?? I don't get it

[DaringDarling]

Why not just give the little shit the ring?

I would say it's a matter of principle. It's my ring, you gifted it. it didn't seem to bother you that I had it for a year, why now?
PLUS: some girls (like me) get very attached to shiny expensive things ^^

[Sweeney]

Is it a matter of principle that is worth a court hearing and potentially obscene courts fees?

PLUS: I'm glad you mentioned that greed probably plays a significant role.

[Bazzel]

Claim she already returned the ring.

When he text and calls make sure she keeps saying.. Look dick! We are over, You said that. I gave you your poxy ring back and (your name) knows I did, so dont think for a second by doing this you will break us up claiming im a Liar! Are you still in love with me??? No.. then why are you so god dam obsessed with me!

See how that goes.. Just act she gave the ring back because you guys were arguing, You never understood why she kept it, so for her to save your relationship she returned the ring to the ex, He knew the problems the ring was causing you guys when she returned it and since has made many attempts to split you guys up. You believe he is trying to cause so much drama that you will then say,.. this is too much and leave her. So as a final low he is now claiming she never returned the ring and is lying to you, thus you would leave her.

Make sense?

[Sweeney]

Bazzel's Top Tips for Dealing with Litigation: Perjure yourself!

Good times for all!

[Waser Lave]

If it's considered a conditional gift in that jurisdiction then legally it makes it irrelevant who caused the break up.

[Elle]

Claim she already returned the ring.

When he text and calls make sure she keeps saying.. Look dick! We are over, You said that. I gave you your poxy ring back and (your name) knows I did, so dont think for a second by doing this you will break us up claiming im a Liar! Are you still in love with me??? No.. then why are you so god dam obsessed with me!

See how that goes.. Just act she gave the ring back because you guys were arguing, You never understood why she kept it, so for her to save your relationship she returned the ring to the ex, He knew the problems the ring was causing you guys when she returned it and since has made many attempts to split you guys up. You believe he is trying to cause so much drama that you will then say,.. this is too much and leave her. So as a final low he is now claiming she never returned the ring and is lying to you, thus you would leave her.

Make sense?

This is the stupidest thing i've heard all day.

[Sweeney]

This is the stupidest thing i've heard all day.

And you live in Australia, so that's really saying something.

[DanDoesWork]

If it's considered a conditional gift in that jurisdiction then legally it makes it irrelevant who caused the break up.

That's exactly what I thought. I do apologize she got the mail late last night when we got back from errands. I was probably wrong but from my understanding if the woman decided to end the engagement then the woman would need to give it back. But in this case he actually ended the whole relationship lol

I do understand the principle of just giving back the ring too don't get me wrong. But this pos man has actually texted saying she killed her ex fiance who died of a heart attack, and has locked her out of a storage unit with items that belong to her...I know this sounds irrelevant but this guy is unstable or obsessed at the least. He was a outpatient from a hospital just a couple days ago too.

[Boggart]

That's exactly what I thought. I do apologize she got the mail late last night when we got back from errands. I was probably wrong but from my understanding if the woman decided to end the engagement then the woman would need to give it back. But in this case he actually ended the whole relationship lol

I do understand the principle of just giving back the ring too don't get me wrong. But this pos man has actually texted saying she killed her ex fiance who died of a heart attack, and has locked her out of a storage unit with items that belong to her...I know this sounds irrelevant but this guy is unstable or obsessed at the least. He was a outpatient from a hospital just a couple days ago too.

I'm just confused. Does she still HAVE The ring? Yes it seems to be "Giving in" to him but unless that ring has some weird super power or sentimental value (which I hope it doesn't) then... what's the point of keeping it?

[DanDoesWork]

Why not just give the little shit the ring?

It really is as simple as that. Black and White. This man has put her through a lot of stress, and fear the last couple of weeks. So we figured we'd get a public defender, and let him just spend all of his money because he has been such a vindictive person...But what we didn't expect is that he was going to make her pay for ALL of his fees. So that has gotten her freaked.

[Waser Lave]

That's exactly what I thought. I do apologize she got the mail late last night when we got back from errands. I was probably wrong but from my understanding if the woman decided to end the engagement then the woman would need to give it back. But in this case he actually ended the whole relationship lol

That's not what I meant. A conditional gift means that it remains the property of the person giving it unless or until the condition is fulfilled. So in this case because the marriage didn't take place, regardless of the reason, the ring is legally his property and would need to be returned because the condition of getting married wasn't fulfilled.

He might be completely crazy but the law seems to be on his side.

[Boggart]

It really is as simple as that. Black and White. This man has put her through a lot of stress, and fear the last couple of weeks. So we figured we'd get a public defender, and let him just spend all of his money because he has been such a vindictive person...But what we didn't expect is that he was going to make her pay for ALL of his fees. So that has gotten her freaked.

Well i'd just give back the damn ring. I mean, if he made 500k a year, I'm sure he can afford an amazing lawyer (especially if he isn't expecting to pay for it) and find something irrelevant but legally binding to make her lose the ring and pay God knows how much in lawyer fees.

[DanDoesWork]

I'm just confused. Does she still HAVE The ring? Yes it seems to be "Giving in" to him but unless that ring has some weird super power or sentimental value (which I hope it doesn't) then... what's the point of keeping it?

Yes she does have the ring still. We have every phonecall recorded, and every time he has called it a engagement ring she would come back saying it was a gift, and saying that it was given on a random sunday morning without any intent of getting engaged. He can't even ask the Store owner for a affidavit because he passed away sadly.

The point of keeping it really IMO to help her family fincially. Going to the doctors, and etc. She doesn't see anything wrong with that because it was given to her as a gift.

[Boggart]

Yes she does have the ring still. We have every phonecall recorded, and every time he has called it a engagement ring she would come back saying it was a gift, and saying that it was given on a random sunday morning without any intent of getting engaged. He can't even ask the Store owner for a affidavit because he passed away sadly.

The point of keeping it really IMO to help her family fincially. Going to the doctors, and etc. She doesn't see anything wrong with that because it was given to her as a gift.

It's a big risk i.m.o. maybe you have no proof now, but a good lawyer can maybe find something, like if they looked at wedding invitations or anything like that, it could be really bad.

And obviously she doesn't see anything wrong with it, just not sure it's worth the risk i.m.o.

yay canada health care

[DanDoesWork]

That's not what I meant. A conditional gift means that it remains the property of the person giving it unless or until the condition is fulfilled. So in this case because the marriage didn't take place, regardless of the reason, the ring is legally his property and would need to be returned because the condition of getting married wasn't fulfilled.

He might be completely crazy but the law seems to be on his side.

Ohh thanks for clearing that up. I had it wrong it appears. I think we will defintely talk about it again. It was given as a gift...but this is becoming a headache. I just hope he gives back everything in the storage unit that has her name on it. I think we will go to the Police Station and ask them what we can do about her photos, and her fathers things out of there.

It's a big risk i.m.o. maybe you have no proof now, but a good lawyer can maybe find something, like if they looked at wedding invitations or anything like that, it could be really bad.

And obviously she doesn't see anything wrong with it, just not sure it's worth the risk i.m.o.

yay canada health care

Ehh no. My girlfriend is the type to copy everything that can have any legal implications. It's just those things he said, she said things -__- No evidence out there with anything with a wedding either. He just up and left after a arguement and moved back in with his ex wife lol

Crazy unstable boyfriends/girlfriends are a pain
But again she is trying to do what's best for her/family, being a gift . It's always kind of fishy to be split for a year...then he finds out she has a new bf, and now suddenly he wants the gift back.

Edited by DanDoesWork, 26 October 2012 - 06:30 AM.

[Waser Lave]

Whatever happens I would suggest leaving the lawyers out of it for as long as possible and just try to sort it all out between themselves.