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"the bowler is Holding the batsmens Willey" Brian Johnston
I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best
Moving from Wales to Italy is like moving to a different country - Ian Rush
You whatch the pitlane while I stop the start whatch..." - Murray Walker
"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria... I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing." - Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator
He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that ti'me. - Richie Benaud (cricket commentator)
"If at first you don't suceed, pull your foreskin over your head (pronounced heed)" - Old Scottish parable
I never criticise referees and I'm not going to change a habit for that prat. - Ron Atkinson
What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football - Stuart Hall, (radio 5 live commentator)
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on" - Samuel Goldwyn.
"What's another word for thesaurus?" - Steven Wright.
"Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me." - G.W. Hegel (philosopher)
"Only one thing is I'mpossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet." Mark Twain. -
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett.
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage." - Ambrose Bierce
"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest." - Rowan Atkinson.
