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I just need somewhere to bitch and complain because I have so much pent up frustration at the moment. So if you're not into bitching and complaining don't say I didn't warn you. Most of the customers are my job are nice, sane, intelligent people. But there are these select groups of people who make me want to smash their heads under my register repeatedly and they just happen to be the ones who come in every single day. This is why I smoke so much weed. I'm only 2 and a half weeks into the semester and I'm already about to tell these some these kids to drop out because they're never going to make it in life and this is just a waste of money. If you guys don't know, I work at a community college and what pisses me off the most is the fact that so many of these people who come to this college basically just use it as a babysitter or high school substitute. There's this guy Tom, I'm pretty sure he's been there every day for like 30 years. He should have every AA they have to offer by now. There's also these kids who are also there every day and the only reason they come is to set up their video games in the student union. They only take like 2 classes a semester and spend the rest of the day playing video games and acting like rambunctious monkeys. I think that's a pretty cool idea to have video games because at my uni we have a UVA where they have a ton of video games, but what bugs me the most about these weeaboo hot messes is that they act like 5 year olds over these fucking games and expect us to play mommy. This is a conversation I've had recently:
Me: *Working the register minding my own damn business*
Student: Hey I brought my xbox and there's this guy who's being a sore loser. He's being really rude and I told him to get off the game but he won't. Can you go tell him to get off the game?
Me: Uhh...No I can't. But you can either unplug it and take it home or I can give you the number to Campus Police and you can call them.
Him: Ok I want the number to campus police because he's being a sore loser and I want him to get off my xbox.
Me: *gives the guy the number* Good luck.
He called campus police and I'm guessing the cop handled it. I don't get paid enough to deal with their juvenile fuckshit.
Another thing that really grinds my gears is when students buy their student ID cards every month because we offer some select things they can get for free. It's a huge range of shit they can get every month, that's why when they buy the cards they're given a pamphlet listing every single thing they get for free for every month of the semester. Do they read that shit? No, they do not. I swear every 10 minutes someone is walking in "What do we get free this month? What do we get free? Do we get anything free? Do we get ____ free?" and more often than not it's the same damn people asking what we get free every fucking time they come in. So in order to stop them from constantly asking us what they get free we took the pamphlet and posted it on the side of the Coke fridge so you can see it as soon as you walk through the front door. It's bright pink. Not only is it bright pink, we use multicolored markers to circle everything they get free for the month and write the name of the month next to it. And when the month is over, we cross that box off and label the next one. WE CAN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER FOR THESE BITCHES. But there are still a lot of people who come in and ask us what they fucking get free because looking at a sign is too much work. I can't even bring myself to be nice about it anymore this semester so I just lie to them.
Student: What do we get free?
Me: I don't know, we list it over there on that wall but I haven't checked it yet. Can you check it and tell me what you get free?
Student: Can I get a <insert item> free this month?
Me: Yeah.
Student: *brings item up*
Me: Oops I was wrong, you don't actually get that free this month. Sometimes I forget to check that paper over there and I get things mixed up.
Here's to hoping they'll stop fucking asking me what they get free. I love short months because they don't get anything free. Of course they still ask but I take a great deal of pleasure in telling them "YOU DON'T GET ANYTHING FREE."
The price nazis who know how my job works better than I do make me go from 0 to ratchet quickly in my head. Actually even outside of my head I have no patience for them.
Them: *Brings up a bunch of shit and waits until I give them a price*
Me: *Gives price*
Them: Oh my god this is so expensive why do you guys charge so much for food?
Me outloud: I don't know, because I don't make the prices. We do have a number you can call if you would like to ask the company about it's pricing.
Me in my head: Well nobody asked you to buy 2 combos, 2 slices of pizzas, 3 candy bars and a 42oz coke when you know you're broke as hell. Put some shit back if you can't afford it you fat ass.
Them: How much is the ____
Me: It says there on the menu it's <price>
Them: Oh why didn't I see that?
Me outloud: *shrugs*
Me in my head:
Them: You guys raised the prices again!
Me: I don't make the prices.
Me in my head: When will you idiots realize that I didn't raise shit. The company who pays my meager salary raised the prices again. I suggest you write them a strongly worded letter instead of complaining to me every day because I can't do shit to help you.
Them: How much is the $5 footlong?
Me outloud and in my head:
My absolute favorite is when they fight with me over the prices. I've only been working as a fucking cashier there for 2 years, what do I know about how much things cost? Those Five Dollar Footlong months are worst because these dipshits refuse to read the menu and assume that everything is $5. NEWSFLASH. Every single time we do this it is ONLY the regular subs that are lowered to $5. The premium subs are NEVER $5. I think we've had enough of these months to get with the program and figure out how this shit works. Not only that, but my best friend is the manager at Subway and I help him make the fucking menus. But they still argue with me over what the menu says, without fail.
Me: That'll be $8.
Them: $8? I thought it was $5?
Me: The system says it's $8.
Them: The menu says $5.
Me: No it doesn't.
Them: YES IT DOES I'LL SHOW YOU!
Me: Ok
*we walk to the menu*
*menu clearly says $8*
Me: *silently to myself* Lord Jesus.....be a fence around me... *to them* I'm sorry, but it going to be $8.
And this is usually the part where they say some random curse words and storm out because it's totally my fault they didn't read the menu. This one guy who's conversation I'm referencing above kicked our glass exit door open in a huff over this and then tried to slam it closed with both hands with all the strength he could muster. But of course our doors are built to where they are impossible to slam, so it just eased shut.
Subway isn't the only place I have price issues, it's also the fucking pizza stand. Every month we offer $5 combos for specific slices of pizza and a drink. Not only does it say on the menu "BUY 2 SLICES OF ____ WITH A REGULAR DRINK FOR $5" but they also show you a picture of the damn pizza so you know what it looks like because we like to make things convenient for people. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. They'll still grab whatever slices they want because our pizza is self serve, and it's usually the most expensive slices at that, then they saunter over to me and tell me is $5.
Them: It says on the sign it's $5
Me: It says 2 slices of _____ is 5 dollars, you got ____
Them: Well do I just put it back?
Me: No, I'll take care of it. *waits for them to leave then throws it away*
I know better than to throw it away in front of them because then they'll go on some bitchfest about wasting food because it's not like they were the ones who grabbed shit they didn't want to pay for.
I think I talked about it before on here where this one chick came up to me and told me she dropped her pizza and that she left it on the counter. This chick picked the pizza off the floor, put it back on the plate, then sat the plate on the counter at the pizza station when there's a trash can right there. But I let that slide, because I try to be a patient person.
Me: Ok don't worry about it." *walks over and throws pizza away*
Girl: Why did you throw it away, someone could've eaten that.
"Me" *long pause because I want to cuss this girl out so bad* That's against our health code.
They really don't have a shred of common sense. If you dropped the pizza on the floor and didn't want it, why the hell would someone else want to eat that? Not only have you touched it with your nasty germ infested hands BUT YOU DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR. How do you even...forget it, I'm done. Drop out. You're not getting an AA, you're not going to amount to anything. Get off my fucking campus.
On to my last rant, I swear. And this one the bane of my existence. People entering through the fucking exit doors.
We have a sign on our exits. 8x11 paper. Giant bold white text over a bright ass red background reading "EXIT ONLY" on both sides of the paper. We have it marked exit only because when you enter through that door without paying attention you walk directly into outgoing traffic. People are trying to get out of there with their food and this person's illiterate ass is walking in through the exit and directly into them. We lock the left exit but we keep the right exit open so the workers from Java City can come through easily and get stuff they need from the cafe. What baffles me the most is when they'll try to open the left exit. Notice that it's locked. Look at it. Then try the right exit and walk through it. I've seen it so many times where some dipshit walks in through the exit without looking and bumps into someone making them drop everything they had in their hands. And since most of the other cashiers are either too inept or too much of a pussy to say anything to them now I take the register next to the exit and as soon as they even touch the handle I tell them "Can you come through the entrance please? *points to it*" Some people apologize and go through the entrance, some people pretend they didn't hear me and keep walking so I say it again even louder and others glare at me like I just told them to fuck themselves up the ass with a rusty axe. Seriously fuck these people! When your dumb ass runs into someone there's going to be a huge mess and I'm going to have to clean it up so I'm going to glare at you, the person you ran into is going to glare at you, the people in line are going to glare at you and we're all going to judge while you sit there looking like the annoying fucking moron you are. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS REFUSE TO READ? I just want to tell those people to gtfo. They're going to drop out anyway because they can't even pay attention to the simplest shit then they're going to be at Five Guys pissing me off again because they can't get my order right.
Ok, I feel better now. That was therapeutic. I'm gonna go to bed.
Me: *Working the register minding my own damn business*
Student: Hey I brought my xbox and there's this guy who's being a sore loser. He's being really rude and I told him to get off the game but he won't. Can you go tell him to get off the game?
Me: Uhh...No I can't. But you can either unplug it and take it home or I can give you the number to Campus Police and you can call them.
Him: Ok I want the number to campus police because he's being a sore loser and I want him to get off my xbox.
Me: *gives the guy the number* Good luck.
He called campus police and I'm guessing the cop handled it. I don't get paid enough to deal with their juvenile fuckshit.
Another thing that really grinds my gears is when students buy their student ID cards every month because we offer some select things they can get for free. It's a huge range of shit they can get every month, that's why when they buy the cards they're given a pamphlet listing every single thing they get for free for every month of the semester. Do they read that shit? No, they do not. I swear every 10 minutes someone is walking in "What do we get free this month? What do we get free? Do we get anything free? Do we get ____ free?" and more often than not it's the same damn people asking what we get free every fucking time they come in. So in order to stop them from constantly asking us what they get free we took the pamphlet and posted it on the side of the Coke fridge so you can see it as soon as you walk through the front door. It's bright pink. Not only is it bright pink, we use multicolored markers to circle everything they get free for the month and write the name of the month next to it. And when the month is over, we cross that box off and label the next one. WE CAN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER FOR THESE BITCHES. But there are still a lot of people who come in and ask us what they fucking get free because looking at a sign is too much work. I can't even bring myself to be nice about it anymore this semester so I just lie to them.
Student: What do we get free?
Me: I don't know, we list it over there on that wall but I haven't checked it yet. Can you check it and tell me what you get free?
Student: Can I get a <insert item> free this month?
Me: Yeah.
Student: *brings item up*
Me: Oops I was wrong, you don't actually get that free this month. Sometimes I forget to check that paper over there and I get things mixed up.
Here's to hoping they'll stop fucking asking me what they get free. I love short months because they don't get anything free. Of course they still ask but I take a great deal of pleasure in telling them "YOU DON'T GET ANYTHING FREE."
The price nazis who know how my job works better than I do make me go from 0 to ratchet quickly in my head. Actually even outside of my head I have no patience for them.
Them: *Brings up a bunch of shit and waits until I give them a price*
Me: *Gives price*
Them: Oh my god this is so expensive why do you guys charge so much for food?
Me outloud: I don't know, because I don't make the prices. We do have a number you can call if you would like to ask the company about it's pricing.
Me in my head: Well nobody asked you to buy 2 combos, 2 slices of pizzas, 3 candy bars and a 42oz coke when you know you're broke as hell. Put some shit back if you can't afford it you fat ass.
Them: How much is the ____
Me: It says there on the menu it's <price>
Them: Oh why didn't I see that?
Me outloud: *shrugs*
Me in my head:
Them: You guys raised the prices again!
Me: I don't make the prices.
Me in my head: When will you idiots realize that I didn't raise shit. The company who pays my meager salary raised the prices again. I suggest you write them a strongly worded letter instead of complaining to me every day because I can't do shit to help you.
Them: How much is the $5 footlong?
Me outloud and in my head:
My absolute favorite is when they fight with me over the prices. I've only been working as a fucking cashier there for 2 years, what do I know about how much things cost? Those Five Dollar Footlong months are worst because these dipshits refuse to read the menu and assume that everything is $5. NEWSFLASH. Every single time we do this it is ONLY the regular subs that are lowered to $5. The premium subs are NEVER $5. I think we've had enough of these months to get with the program and figure out how this shit works. Not only that, but my best friend is the manager at Subway and I help him make the fucking menus. But they still argue with me over what the menu says, without fail.
Me: That'll be $8.
Them: $8? I thought it was $5?
Me: The system says it's $8.
Them: The menu says $5.
Me: No it doesn't.
Them: YES IT DOES I'LL SHOW YOU!
Me: Ok
*we walk to the menu*
*menu clearly says $8*
Me: *silently to myself* Lord Jesus.....be a fence around me... *to them* I'm sorry, but it going to be $8.
And this is usually the part where they say some random curse words and storm out because it's totally my fault they didn't read the menu. This one guy who's conversation I'm referencing above kicked our glass exit door open in a huff over this and then tried to slam it closed with both hands with all the strength he could muster. But of course our doors are built to where they are impossible to slam, so it just eased shut.
Subway isn't the only place I have price issues, it's also the fucking pizza stand. Every month we offer $5 combos for specific slices of pizza and a drink. Not only does it say on the menu "BUY 2 SLICES OF ____ WITH A REGULAR DRINK FOR $5" but they also show you a picture of the damn pizza so you know what it looks like because we like to make things convenient for people. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. They'll still grab whatever slices they want because our pizza is self serve, and it's usually the most expensive slices at that, then they saunter over to me and tell me is $5.
Them: It says on the sign it's $5
Me: It says 2 slices of _____ is 5 dollars, you got ____
Them: Well do I just put it back?
Me: No, I'll take care of it. *waits for them to leave then throws it away*
I know better than to throw it away in front of them because then they'll go on some bitchfest about wasting food because it's not like they were the ones who grabbed shit they didn't want to pay for.
I think I talked about it before on here where this one chick came up to me and told me she dropped her pizza and that she left it on the counter. This chick picked the pizza off the floor, put it back on the plate, then sat the plate on the counter at the pizza station when there's a trash can right there. But I let that slide, because I try to be a patient person.
Me: Ok don't worry about it." *walks over and throws pizza away*
Girl: Why did you throw it away, someone could've eaten that.
"Me" *long pause because I want to cuss this girl out so bad* That's against our health code.
They really don't have a shred of common sense. If you dropped the pizza on the floor and didn't want it, why the hell would someone else want to eat that? Not only have you touched it with your nasty germ infested hands BUT YOU DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR. How do you even...forget it, I'm done. Drop out. You're not getting an AA, you're not going to amount to anything. Get off my fucking campus.
On to my last rant, I swear. And this one the bane of my existence. People entering through the fucking exit doors.
We have a sign on our exits. 8x11 paper. Giant bold white text over a bright ass red background reading "EXIT ONLY" on both sides of the paper. We have it marked exit only because when you enter through that door without paying attention you walk directly into outgoing traffic. People are trying to get out of there with their food and this person's illiterate ass is walking in through the exit and directly into them. We lock the left exit but we keep the right exit open so the workers from Java City can come through easily and get stuff they need from the cafe. What baffles me the most is when they'll try to open the left exit. Notice that it's locked. Look at it. Then try the right exit and walk through it. I've seen it so many times where some dipshit walks in through the exit without looking and bumps into someone making them drop everything they had in their hands. And since most of the other cashiers are either too inept or too much of a pussy to say anything to them now I take the register next to the exit and as soon as they even touch the handle I tell them "Can you come through the entrance please? *points to it*" Some people apologize and go through the entrance, some people pretend they didn't hear me and keep walking so I say it again even louder and others glare at me like I just told them to fuck themselves up the ass with a rusty axe. Seriously fuck these people! When your dumb ass runs into someone there's going to be a huge mess and I'm going to have to clean it up so I'm going to glare at you, the person you ran into is going to glare at you, the people in line are going to glare at you and we're all going to judge while you sit there looking like the annoying fucking moron you are. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS REFUSE TO READ? I just want to tell those people to gtfo. They're going to drop out anyway because they can't even pay attention to the simplest shit then they're going to be at Five Guys pissing me off again because they can't get my order right.
Ok, I feel better now. That was therapeutic. I'm gonna go to bed.
Wow.