My first clusterfuck of 2013

I just want to tell you about this crazy ass weekend I had and show off pictures TBH.

Here's some backstory for the people who don't go into TC.

My best friend Willie is gay and he has a crush on his friend Brandon but Brandon is fucking straight. Well that's what Brandon says I rlly don't know because whenever they get drunk together they fight like a married couple. So for a month Brandon has been planning his birthday weekend celebration but his birthday was on Monday. It's Willie's birthday tomorrow so they decided to celebrate their birthdays together. First Brandon wanted to go to Disneyland and stay in a hotel there there but tickets to Disneyland are like $115 plus hotel it would be crazy expensive so I said that we should just go downtown to San Diego, hit the bars there, and stay at a hotel in SD because it's much cheaper and Brandon is turning 21 we should go clubbing. That's what we decided to do. I invited Freya, she's a foreign exchange student from China and she parties hard even though she can barely speak English. Freya said she'd drive us down to San Diego. To this was the plan, until Thursday...

I've heard two different stories so this is what I've managed to piece together. Brandon kept asking Willie if he was going. He basically begged me to go but as soon as he found out his marine friends were coming he didn't give a shit whether we came or not. Brandon bitches and complains all the time that he doesn't have friends and you're about to find out why. When Brandon found out that his marine friends were coming and bringing girls he basically dis-invited Willie even though they were supposed to be celebrating together. When Willie found out he cried and left work and went home. I told him don't worry about it because we can still throw a party at my apartment. Then I get a text from Brandon that night.

Brandon: Ok, you guys are coming
Me: What?
Brandon: Can't you read? You're both coming tomorrow.
Me: First of all, don't get bold with me. Secondly, you invited like 15 people where would we sleep?

And he never responded after that. Willie was still upset and didn't want to go but I wake up Friday morning to a text from Willie saying that he booked a hotel and we're going anyway. I was under the impression that we were going to San Diego anyway and partying without Brandon. But Willie booked the hotel so he could STILL FUCKING HANG OUT WITH FUCKING BRANDON. So Willie tells me to text Brandon and tell him we're coming, he doesn't respond to me or Willie. Then Freya calls Brandon like 3 times and he doesn't respond. I text him again. Freya texts him. We get nothing form this fucker. So I'm like whatever we're in San Diego we'll still have fun. Freya even said that the bartender at Fluxx, one of the most popular nightclubs in San Diego, has a crush on her and will give us free drinks all night plus ladies are in free before 10:30. I told Willie I'd pay his cover since we're getting free drinks.

This was the fucking plan.

Get a bottle of Jack and pregame.


Check.

Then we were going to go to dinner at Yard House and then go to Fluxx. But once we got to yard house Willie was just sulking over the fact that Brandon was ignoring us and we weren't going to hang out with Brandon. He basically told us that the only reason he came down here was to hang out with Brandon. THEN WHY DRAG ME AND FREYA DOWN HERE IF ALL YOU WANTED WAS THAT BROKE BITCH BRANDON? Willie told us that he was going to the bathroom and because he was legit near tears over this bullshit. 10 minutes...15 minutes...20 minutes...30 minutes....no Willie. So me and Freya are talking about checking on him but neither of us want to walk into the men's bathroom to look for him. I text him and this motherfucker tells me that he left the restaurant and he's walking to go find Brandon. So I eat the rest of his food, drink his cocktail then I pay this motherfucker's bill and me and Freya are so pissed.

Me: I can't believe he just fucking left us like this!
Freya: I know they're both asshole!
Me: This is BS Freya!
Freya: What's BS?
Me: BULLSHIT.
Freya: Yes this bullshit!

So me and Freya decide fuck both those bitches we're going to the mall. On our way to the cab Willie calls me

Willie: Where are you
Me: We're in a cab.
Willie: Where can I meet you?
Me: I can't believe you just left us there and left me there to pay your bill. At this point you're no better than Brandon is, real friends don't do this. If you want to hang out with us, you can meet us at Fluxx. But if you're going to make this whole night about Brandon I suggest you go back to the hotel.
Willie: *hangs up on me*

I'm pissed. Freya is pissed. She's yelling in Chinese and shit. We finally get to the mall to do some retail therapy. I'm feeling better because I just bought this cute ass top from Guess for 60% off. Willie calls me again.

Willie: Where are you
Me: We're at the mall. Where are you?
Willie: I'm at the Hard Rock I see Brandon's friend I'm about to go confront him.
Me: Do you want us to meet you there?
Willie: Yeah
Me: We'll I'm trying on this top and it's really cute so you're going to have to wait until I'm done.

Of course his impatient ass confronts Brandon anyway and basically Brandon tells Willie he can't hang out with him and his friends and he doesn't want to be friends with him anymore. Willie tries to call up to go to Brandon's hotel room to talk but Brandon says he's not allowed so Willie leaves then calls me crying saying he wants to go home. Freya says she can't drive him home because she's still drunk and she still wants to go to Fluxx. And I agree, he dragged us all the way down here we're going to fucking Fluxx. We meet at the hotel just to let Willie in because there's only one key and Freya had it in her purse. Willie just lays on the bed curled up in the fetal position. Freya and I charge our phones and tell Willie we're going to Fluxx, he didn't answer us so fuck it we're out. While we're at Fluxx fucking Brandon decides to grace my phone with his texting presence and asks me if we're still with Willie. I told him if he wants to talk to Willie he can call him and I'm done with this bullshit. Freya and I are trying to get the fucking party started.






Finally I'm feeling sad for Willie. I'm not mad at him anymore because he's my best friend and I text him telling him that if he still wants to come I'll still pay his cover. He says he wants to come and catches a cab over to Fluxx and we didn't even have to pay a cover cuz we were all on the guest list. Plus we got free drinks. That's when shit really got real.













So I'm drunk and dancing so obviously my inner Beyonce comes out. This guy at a reserved table starts talking to Freya about how he likes the way I dance. I talked to him and he made me and Willie drinks and I guess since he figured out I wasn't DTF the guy just leaves to go talk to another girl. So we grab his bottle of grey goose from his table and we bolt. This is our victory toast.



After that it was last call so we went home and ordered pizza at the hotel. Then we passed out and I woke up feeling like death. So of course the cure for a hangover is to drink more. We went to Hillcrest which is the gay part of San Diego and me and Willie got wastedpants.



It was all worth the drama to see my best friend have a happy birthday.