142 replies to this topic

[Ziz]

If you speak with only the truth then this will be cleared really fast and with not much more inconvenients.
I think you don't have to be very worried at all. You have the support of your parents, your friends and your teachers (and moral support of some people on this forum), and that's a lot more than some people in similar situations.

[Adina]

If you speak with only the truth then this will be cleared really fast and with not much more inconvenients.
I think you don't have to be very worried at all. You have the support of your parents, your friends and your teachers (and moral support of some people on this forum), and that's a lot more than some people in similar situations.

I really only have the support of my friends, and some people from here.
No family, which are the ones responsible for taking me to court and such since I'm underage.

[Boggart]

Oh i get it. yeah similar thing happened to my sister where she filed a charge against someone but they pleaded guilty. but she still had to go to court while he pleaded guilty O.o

[Adina]

Oh i get it. yeah similar thing happened to my sister where she filed a charge against someone but they pleaded guilty. but she still had to go to court while he pleaded guilty O.o

You live in the states?

[DanDoesWork]

Well I read this thread and hopefully you have gotten some of the answers you were looking for Adina. I hope everything works out for you and can quickly move on from this situation. With that being said I think the guy deserves everything that he has coming to him. You are underage, and he was 18! Wrong, illegal and just wrong not to stop when you asked him to. Guys like that need to learn their lesson or else they might continue to do so with other women they meet. Again hopefully everything moves quickly so you can get back to your life.

[Nunc]

You're not innocent, though, Adina. Do you realize that? You were smoking and presumably drinking underage, which is a federal crime here in the states. I'm sure it's illegal in Canada too. Your parents would have every right to get mad at you for comprising yourself and the law in that manner.

[Seaner]

You're not innocent, though, Adina. Do you realize that? You were smoking and presumably drinking underage, which is a federal crime here in the states. I'm sure it's illegal in Canada too. Your parents would have every right to get mad at you for comprising yourself and the law in that manner.

It's hard enough to find an officer that will ticket you for smokin' a joint (in BC anyways), good luck finding one to fuck around with underage smoking.

[Lychee]

You're not innocent, though, Adina. Do you realize that? You were smoking and presumably drinking underage, which is a federal crime here in the states. I'm sure it's illegal in Canada too. Your parents would have every right to get mad at you for comprising yourself and the law in that manner.

[DanDoesWork]

You're not innocent, though, Adina. Do you realize that? You were smoking and presumably drinking underage, which is a federal crime here in the states. I'm sure it's illegal in Canada too. Your parents would have every right to get mad at you for comprising yourself and the law in that manner.

Which makes it that much worse that the guy tried to do this?
I'm sure everyone here has NEVER consumed alcohol illegally, or lit one up or two

Edited by dk8932, 13 January 2011 - 03:51 PM.

[Ziz]

[iargue]

Bryan you and your upfront honesty has helped me out in situations in the past. It just did in the other topic with bog and now I'm sure Adina will appreciate it. Plus rep.

What the fuck noit. It didn't help her at all. I would minus rep you right now if I could. :|

[Bryan]

And @ Bryan, the next time you think of "these forums aren't what they used to be" maybe you should consider yourself as part of the reason why. Instead of being supportive and asking for more info, you attacked somebody simply asking for help/advice.

If I was a new member here I'd see this thread (it has the kind of title to draw people into it), see the responses many of you have given Adina and simply think, fuck this place I'll take their programs and go.

I really don't know what place 'these forums aren't what they used to be' has in this topic whatsoever. I've stated numerous times I don't care if these forums change. So once again, I really don't know how that statement fits in place here. Instead of being supportive and asking for more info, I said fuck and slut, questioned the validity of the statement and then offered help/advice after I got it. Maybe I didn't tip toe around in fear of hurting her feelings, but I was direct, to the point, and got what I was looking for.

I'm sorry, I was hardly attacking anyone. If you read my two 'negative' posts in this thread, you can see I never once directly attacked anyone in this thread.

Grow the fuck up and tell everybody the truth. Chances are he thought you were a slut anyways, which is why he was 18 and feeling you up. Of course I don't know how you guys went out for a smoke and he just randomly thought it was okay to feel you up but whatever. If the only thing you're worried about is having to tell your parents you smoke cigarettes and going to court, you're probably not too hurt about the situation that happened.

You feel bad for him? Hardly. I think you feel bad about what's going to happen to you because everyone is going to find out that you told.

Basically you hadn't seen the guy for a month, he's 18, the moment he touches you anywhere you should be saying no. I don't see how he 'tried to get in your pants', 'bit your neck', and 'groped you everywhere' in a place where people traffic frequently without you saying no. I'm sorry, guy's aren't stupid sex fiends. If it was malicious, more would've happened. And the fact that you're not hurt or anything makes me feel like it was more mutual than you're letting it play out to be.

Being too lazy? If that's my only vice in this topic, I'm sorry. Minus brownie points for me for not taking the time out of my day to help a girl who chooses not to provide relevant details in a 'serious' matter.

Grow up? Is that an attack? It's a statement, and a valid one in fact. Chances are he thought you were a slut. If that's an attack I'm sorry, saying I think someone thought you were something. Oh no. What I mean by that statement is no guy in their right mind would be 18 and feel up someone underage, especially if it wasn't mutual. And the rest of it is my skepticism questioning the validity of the statement.

Because when she's traumatised she needs some guy on the internet telling her that her attacker thought she was a slut?

Traumatized? Hardly, to quote Adina herself:

I'm not hurt

For all of you thinking I'm attacking, not being emotional enough, being a douche. Go fuck yourselves really. Don't pull the fucking traumatized card, don't pull the fucking 'sexual abuse is serious business' card. It's the fucking internet. I don't even know if she's a girl in the first place. I don't know shit about her, so why the fuck should I believe what she's saying is truthful? I'm going to be skeptical.

And the major reason I was a dick, was because you mentioned that it was 'too late to tell your parents'. That, plus the "I drink on occasions" to me just screams immature little girl. Immature little girl brings to mind the girl who cried wolf.

My best friend is a therapist for sexual offenders on probation. I know a lot about this issue. You see certain signs when people are lying/not telling you the full truth. I saw those signs, I called her out, I got the full truth.

Really, I'm tired of people getting butthurt over stupid shit. If you don't like what I say, fucking ignore me. Don't pull this holier than thou attitude and try and argue morality and emotions. I might be abrasive, but I'm generally right.

surreee, if helping means me posting much less. helps a lot.

Surreee, it means having posts with substance as opposed to I LIKE SEX tapered to the end of every other post. When you grow up, you'll realize why I said it. We've already had a couple members of this forum be openly gay, and they grow out of the sex thing fast. You will too, just tryign to speed along the process.

[Lychee]

Chances are he thought you were a slut. If that's an attack I'm sorry, saying I think someone thought you were something. Oh no. What I mean by that statement is no guy in their right mind would be 18 and feel up someone underage, especially if it wasn't mutual. And the rest of it is my skepticism questioning the validity of the statement.

This is victim blaming. Even if she chose to sleep with a hundred people, it doesn't mean that anyone has any right to touch her without her permission. I also wish I lived in your world where guys that age didn't feel up someone underage when they're "in their right mind". It's pretty commonplace in mine. And before you insist that everyone I know who has been groped without their consent is a slut or the guy thought they were a slut so that made it okay - no. Quite the opposite.

Traumatized? Hardly, to quote Adina herself:

To also quote Adina: "I was in a panicked state, and told a teacher everything."


But I have taken your advice, bar unblocking this response. We disagree on a pretty important point - RE: whether or not sexual assault is serious fucking business.

[Bryan]

This is victim blaming. Even if she chose to sleep with a hundred people, it doesn't mean that anyone has any right to touch her without her permission. I also wish I lived in your world where guys that age didn't feel up someone underage when they're "in their right mind". It's pretty commonplace in mine. And before you insist that everyone I know who has been groped without their consent is a slut or the guy thought they were a slut so that made it okay - no. Quite the opposite.

No, it'd be victim blaming if I said it was absolute. I said probably. If she chose to sleep with a hundred people, she'd be a slut. I never said anything about giving the right to do anything. You live in this world. It's obviously illegal to feel someone up when they're underage, hence why if you do it you're not using your cognitive thought process. I said nothing ever about making it just, right, or okay. Get off your fucking high horse and quit putting words in my mouth.

To also quote Adina: "I was in a panicked state, and told a teacher everything."


But I have taken your advice, bar unblocking this response. We disagree on a pretty important point - RE: whether or not sexual assault is serious fucking business.

panic: an overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety

traumatized: Subject to lasting shock as a result of an emotionally disturbing experience or physical injury

Don't attempt to argue semantics with me, especially when you're so miserably wrong.

[Dayzee]

You're not innocent, though, Adina. Do you realize that? You were smoking and presumably drinking underage, which is a federal crime here in the states. I'm sure it's illegal in Canada too. Your parents would have every right to get mad at you for comprising yourself and the law in that manner.

You obviously know NOTHING about law. If she was drinking, smoking, no panties and told him to screw her, then said "no" at the last minute, this would still be sexual assault if he didn't stop. You should go troll threads with topics that you actually understand. Understand?

The sale and provision of cigarettes and alcohol to a minor is illegal. The consumption of same is not.

Also, comparing a minor "crime" to a sexual assault is somewhat pathetic, I'd like to say even for you, but we both known that you are willing to go much, much lower.

Yes, consumption in the states is not a federal crime.

It is, at least in many states, illegal, though it's usually just a misdemeanor.

Edited by dayzee100, 13 January 2011 - 06:45 PM.

[Bryan]

She was at school and not drinking... Also, it is NOT a federal offense to possess or consume alcohol or tobacco under age. The federal government doesn't set tr age limits, it is actually the state governments that set them. The states all have taken what I consider bribe money in order to have some form of uniformity to the law.

Also, attempting to compare sexual assault to smoking a cigarette is absolutely absurd.

Still on my mobile, but to respond to you Bryan, it is rather common to feel empathy for the attacker or the future of their lives. I think that there are levels of trauma, but tbh, it's really not relevant if the man is guilty, he's guilty. I also think it's wrong to assume tha adina would lie or have intentionally left out key details. Yes, this is the Internet... The benefit of the Internet being anonymity. If anything, I think it would be safer to assume that she hadn't left out key details in order to get better advice... And even if it was felt that more info was needed, I do think that acting with some form of diplomacy is only fair... Especially considering that she is the victim of a sexual assault...

Too lazy to wall of text on my cell phone.. So cheers!

I don't care what the situation is. If you ask for advice, provide all the details. Otherwise you get skewed advice based only on what you've provided.

There's a big difference between I think, and she is.

[iargue]

I don't care what the situation is. If you ask for advice, provide all the details. Otherwise you get skewed advice based only on what you've provided.

There's a big difference between I think, and she is.

She never asked for advice.

[Bryan]

She never asked for advice.

You're right.

Discuss: an act or instance of discussing; consideration or examination by argument, comment, etc., esp. to explore solutions; informal debate.

Advice: a communication, esp. from a distance, containing information

Wait, you're wrong. As always. Don't worry though, I'll give you a one up (+1) so you can try again.

Topics probably going to be closed anyway. Not really going anywhere.

I really felt there was enough detail originally to infer that it was a sexual assault... but meh... arguing a dead point, I think...

Never make assumptions until you get all of the details...

It's a dead point. Meh indeed.

[iargue]

You're right.


Wait, you're wrong. As always. Don't worry though, I'll give you a one up (+1) so you can try again.

Topics probably going to be closed anyway. Not really going anywhere.

Are you really that retarded that your going to tell me that a discussion is the same thing as asking for advice?

Dont just be like, "OMG YOU WRONG. I'm Right" and think that will work. Your clearly wrong if you doing to quote two definitional that are seemingly close to each other and pretend the words mean the same thing. They do not.

She never asked, "What should I do!" she said, "Discuss".

Ugh you know what. I'll just put you on my ignore list and relieve a bit of stress. Good Bye

[Bryan]

Are you really that retarded that your going to tell me that a discussion is the same thing as asking for advice?

Dont just be like, "OMG YOU WRONG. I'm Right" and think that will work. Your clearly wrong if you doing to quote two definitional that are seemingly close to each other and pretend the words mean the same thing. They do not.

She never asked, "What should I do!" she said, "Discuss".

Ugh you know what. I'll just put you on my ignore list and relieve a bit of stress. Good Bye

To satisfy the great one, I'll change my statement to:

Don't ask for a discussion when you don't provide all the details. Then you're going to get a discussion that is skewed based only on the information provided.

I fail to see how using a synonym is means to denounce a true statement. But whatever.

You're right, I'm wrong as always. I think I'm going to have sex with my girlfriend on the subway while everyone watches to cool down.


Also, haven't I been on your ignore list like 4 times already?

[Seaner]

Also, haven't I been on your ignore list like 4 times already?

Gotta keep removing you so he can publicly announce he's going to add you to his ignore list.

[iargue]

Gotta keep removing you so he can publicly announce he's going to add you to his ignore list.

Hes never been on my ignore list.

I've added more people to my ignore list this month then I have in my entire time being here (Added 2 this money. Only have 3 on the list)

[Boggart]

Hes never been on my ignore list.

I've added more people to my ignore list this month then I have in my entire time being here (Added 2 this money. Only have 3 on the list)

I'm guessing you meant month?

and I only have one person on my ignore list which I added a few days ago Kinda pointless since if other people quote these people, you can still what they wrote in entirety

[esilim]

What comes out in words and actions is but the smallest overflow of what's in the heart. Although you are not responsible for what the teachers and law-enforcement have done, it has probably helped both him and potential future targets of whatever else would have come out of his heart. This is why teachers do what they do, and law enforcement do what they do: they've studied future consequences of such things. He can respond by actually determining to deal with what's in his own heart, and so his life would be much improved by the situation. After all, the only one who absolutely has to live with him for the rest of his life is himself.

[kungfuhita]

heyyy bra, don't even trip, at least you didnt get yourself arrested =)
I got arrested for being half naked in front of a church lying next to baby jesus in the middle of winter
just think of that
think of some crazy kid being approached by police...
half naked
in the middle of winter
twacked out of his mind
after peeing in someones yard

doesnt that make you smile?