38 replies to this topic

[Boggart]

No this ain't about Justin Timberlake or Mila Kunis

So if you were on tinychat recently you'll know someone propositioned this to me; the details I'm not going to discuss openly. But if you know me then you know an FWB is the exact opposite of what I"m interested in as a person.

I realize, however, that this is probably a dream for many many people (maybe, I'm just assuming)

So: friends with benefits, sex without strings, no relationship, no drama (theoretically), no meeting parents, just sex.

Have you had one? When did it end? Do you still have one? Why did it end? Would you ever want one? Or are you like me?

Share because I'm sick on a saturday and I need entertainment.

[chicityballa]

i had one for a bit and it only lasted a few weeks...maybe a month at max. it was hard on the girl because she didnt like the place the relationship was at. no matter how hard you try, emotions develop. its really hard for them not to and thats why it stopped.

[Cyo]

What's not to like about such a relationship? Just suit up and you're good to go.

[Dunvegan]

I imagine it would be harder for a female to not develop feelings, since sex is so wrapped around emotions for a female. Or, at least, that's how it typically is.

I couldn't imagine entangling myself in such a relationship, ever. I don't appreciate being used, and any female who agrees with it has little to no self-respect.

But I could see the draw for males.

[Cyo]

I don't appreciate being used, and any female who agrees with it has little to no self-respect.

How does somebody enjoying sex purely for the sex make them not have any self-respect? Are you retarded?

[Boggart]

Well I guess our society makes sex more "sacred" For women lest they be a whorish wench!

My proposer is a virgin, i just don't even want to begin to deal with that

[Zepar]

I think that being in love with a serious relationship is better than just having sex. I never had FWB and I don't think I'll look for one in my life.

[chicityballa]

i agree. why does a girl not have self-respect for herself because she agrees but it's ok for a guy?

[Cyo]

i agree. why does a girl not have self-respect for herself because she agrees but it's ok for a guy?

Probably has to do with the whole "If a key opens all the doors it's called a master key but when a lock is opened by all the keys, then it's a shitty lock." mentality. Which I don't really care about, just wrap it before you tap it.

[iargue]

There is a style of FWB that works for select people in the world.

Its known as swingers. Where two people have a relationship, but they also have people on the side that are just there for sex.

Something I could never do, but it works for select people out there. I've never heard of FWB working with just friends though. Either one of them gets emotionally involved, or one of them wants to stop having sex because they have an actual interest.

[Boggart]

It worked for those people in that movie!

It's not my style either, but iunno, maybe some people want it...

Why someone would want to have sex with this is beyond me

<----------

[Kat]

I've though about this for a while before I met my current boyfriend, because I was really attracted to one of my friends. I really didn't like his personality but he was freaking hot, ok.
But after thinking about it, I realized I couldn't. I do get too emotionally attached, even if the guy's an asshole, especially when it comes to sex.
I really have to be in love with the person before having sex with them. As much I sometimes I want it to just be sex and that's it, I've come to terms with it not being possible for me.
So instead of trapping myself in that situation, I stayed without sex until a new guy came along and I fell in lurrrve with. /derp
So tl;dr, I'm not one of those people.

Edited by Kats, 08 October 2011 - 12:50 PM.

[Darkthrone]

I had something like this a few years back when I was around 18/9. We met via work and realized we had a lot in common and were into the same kind of scene, we started hanging out a lot and would go to clubs parties etc all the time, I would spend a lot of time at her place and we kind of took care of each other. It was never explicitly stated that we had anything but a good friendship but there was many nights that we would end up fucked and go to bed with each other. In the morning we would wake up and go for breakfast like nothing had happened. It was pretty strange I'll admit because we wouldn't act that way at all around each other at any other times and it was bizarre how we never spoke about it but I was fine with that. I'll admit I did have some feelings for this girl and was super attracted to her but she wasn't the type of girl that was into relationships, in fact she had very few close male friends. I decided that I would just go with it because I didn't want to make it weird between us and try and close a relationship with her ( I knew the answer would be no and you can't go back from something like that ) I really did have a pretty insane year that year. Makes me feel like such a boring fuck now ¬.¬

and to answer the questions Have you had one? Yes When did it end? Couple years ago Do you still have one? No Why did it end? We just seemed to slowly drift apart

[onlyme]

Share because I'm sick on a saturday and I need entertainment.

you should have just stolen your sisters computer and play lol with me. NEOCOSEX!

[Boggart]

Well if there's full disclosure, knowing me, there are no women involved... soo.... o.o

[Rainie]

I guess like most people said, it's hard for a girl to not start to get emotionally attached, and then I'd assume things get complicated.

I really think that a serious relationship would be better though like Zepar said, but reality is that people do do this and think it's fine so what can you do~~? o:

[Boggart]

Well I've been single for NINE months so clearly should take what can get since I am nothing when not in a relationship
Also I' m ugly

[Freshx]

I had one for a few months a few years ago and HE got attached instead of me which I found odd.
So I think the whole girls get attached just depends on your state of mind when you decide to get into a FWB relationship.
& It ended because he was always out of state.

Edited by Krissyy, 08 October 2011 - 05:46 PM.

[Sunset]

Honestly I had one... we met online, met the same day, 7 years later were together and have a couple kids So I guess it never did end it evolved lol

[luvsmyncis]

I would have to have a friend for this to work, and I hate friendship.

[Tetiel]

Uhhhh... I"m sort of with you Boggart. I just couldn't. A few years ago I'd be a judgmental bitch about it, but hey, monogamy isn't for everyone. I understand now that I will never understand that so I'll just shrug at it.

I've thought long about this in an attempt to understand myself and I could never possibly do that as I am an incredibly insecure person. While it's a huge boost to my self-esteem level that someone finds me attractive enough to want to have sex with me, the very nature of friends with benefits means that you have no strings i.e. you can sleep with others. My insecurities would run wild and I would think that I wasn't actually fulfilling enough for them. At the same time I would feel awful if I were to sleep with other people and they wouldn't because it wouldn't be fair to them. It would never actually be meaningless either because I cannot dis-attach myself like that no matter how much I try.

Besides, I really do need someone that I can connect with and trust for something like that primarily because I am so neurotic and insecure.

[Narcissa]

I had a FWB for awhile and it was GREAT.

The key is to not do things with the other person that typically goes with relationships; spending the night, talking about "feelings", not clearing up boundaries. It lasted a few months before I went to my current S.O.

Don't do it Boggart. Virgins are hella scary to deal with.

[ShinaDutchAD]

I had a FWB once. Honestly wasn't worth the trouble.

I couldn't stay friends with them after I moved on. Every time I see em...well it's quite hard to explain. Just a lot of negativity X3

[Boggart]

I'd way rather have the cuddling and talking without sex if the alternative was sex and no talking. I'm such a woman