145 replies to this topic

[essie]

I think it's rooted back into the times when they developed the concept of ethics and including the idea of having a single monogamous partner into religion. As far as I'm concerned, this concept was developed simply for the sake of containing certain STDs/STIs that many people were suffering and dying from as a result of underdeveloped medicine. It stuck with our society and became ingrained within our culture. I find a certain pleasure in having my man all to myself. It makes me feel like I'm all he needs. And I know that he enjoys knowing that he's the only one I "need" as well.
As far as biology is concerned, humans are not the only "monogamous" species. There are many others who practice similar habits, and much better than we do.
I recently asked myself the same question too, so I understand your point of view. I was with my ex the other day, and even though I still have a certain level of attraction towards him, I could not pull myself to even suggest the thought of any physical contact. I knew that it wouldn't sit well on my conscious, and though we did have an incredible physical relationship, what I have with the boy that I'm with now offers different aspects of fulfillment, and I would not want to be unfaithful.
Sex isn't always just the old in-out, in-out experience for everyone.

[8143FF763271]

Actually, the conversations where about how I think you're elevated sense of self worth because of your body is ridiculous because it's very much average.

I will not respect your space, sorry. If you don't want people posting images that are available publicly, maybe you shouldn't make them available.

I wasn't discussing my body here... or anywhere. You were the one that stepped in, ignored the conversation at hand, and fervently insisted on having a conversation on my body. A conversation you're still trying to establish despite me hinting not so subtly that I am not interested. You don't like my body? Good for you. Unfortunately, I am only attracted to women so I honestly can't give much of a shit about what males think about it. (Hint #40)

There are plenty of public images out there. I just find it creepy when someone I am not attracted to nor have heard of in my whole life compulsively posts my pictures all over unrelated threads while sounding quite passionate about the whole affair. I do understand that you're in your freedom to be a creep with my pictures, but I am also in my freedom to notify you that you're being one.

Just how the cookie crumbles.

[Random]

I wasn't discussing my body here... or anywhere. You were the one that stepped in, ignored the conversation at hand, and fervently insisted on having a conversation on my body. A conversation you're still trying to establish despite me hinting not so subtly that I am not interested. You don't like my body? Good for you. Unfortunately, I am only attracted to women so I honestly can't give much of a shit about what males think about it. (Hint #40)

There are plenty of public images out there. I just find it creepy when someone I am not attracted to nor have heard of in my whole life compulsively posts my pictures all over unrelated threads while sounding quite passionate about the whole affair. I do understand that you're in your freedom to be a creep with my pictures, but I am also in my freedom to notify you that you're being one.

Just how the cookie crumbles.

Oh, yes, I'm aware of what I did. And it appears that it has made you uncomfortable, which I don't care about. My aim was merely to entertain myself, and that it what I have done.

You are free to notify me that it bothers you, but I will still do what I want. I've had my fun with you for now, though.

[8143FF763271]

I think it's rooted back into the times when they developed the concept of ethics and including the idea of having a single monogamous partner into religion. As far as I'm concerned, this concept was developed simply for the sake of containing certain STDs/STIs that many people were suffering and dying from as a result of underdeveloped medicine. It stuck with our society and became ingrained within our culture. I find a certain pleasure in having my man all to myself. It makes me feel like I'm all he needs. And I know that he enjoys knowing that he's the only one I "need" as well.
As far as biology is concerned, humans are not the only "monogamous" species. There are many others who practice similar habits, and much better than we do.
I recently asked myself the same question too, so I understand your point of view. I was with my ex the other day, and even though I still have a certain level of attraction towards him, I could not pull myself to even suggest the thought of any physical contact. I knew that it wouldn't sit well on my conscious, and though we did have an incredible physical relationship, what I have with the boy that I'm with now offers different aspects of fulfillment, and I would not want to be unfaithful.
Sex isn't always just the old in-out, in-out experience for everyone.

I think your anthropological facts are invalidated. Monogamy has existed prior to people relating disease to sex or anything of the sort. Furthermore, polygyny exists in plenty of places and adultery has always been something more strongly punished in women than in men (that's universal). The real "root" of monogamy is that constructing it was the only way for men to guarantee their children were their own. In a society where everyone was free to fuck everyone, man never knew if he fathered a child at all.

Monogamy is extremely rare in the animal kingdom and monogamous species do frequently engage in polygamous sexual activity. Monogamy exists in the animal kingdom more so as behaviour by pairs to take care of offspring.

Other than that, your subjective anecdote is perfectly valid. I just don't understand why we still put so much value into sex when it can be a relatively uninvolved and harmless activity. If your ex is a better lay, why should that prevent you from fucking him? And why should that make your boyfriend mad? Certainly, your boyfriend doesn't get mad if one of your friends makes you laugh more or is more entertaining to play video games with, but why sex? What's so taboo and horrible about sex with other people?

Oh, yes, I'm aware of what I did. And it appears that it has made you uncomfortable, which I don't care about. My aim was merely to entertain myself, and that it what I have done.

You are free to notify me that it bothers you, but I will still do what I want. I've had my fun with you for now, though.

Right. Hope you found it entertaining and all.

Edited by kami12, 18 August 2012 - 10:54 AM.

[essie]

The real "root" of monogamy is that constructing is was the only way for men to guarantee their children were their own. In a society were everyone was free to fuck everyone, man never knew if he fathered a child at all.

Well, I think through this statement you've got a bit of your own question answered.
Ever watch Steve Wilkos? I think that shit's enough of a deterrent for many.

I just don't understand why we still put so much value into sex when it can be a relatively uninvolved and harmless activity. If your ex is a better lay, why should that prevent you from fucking him? And why should that make your boyfriend mad? Certainly, your boyfriend doesn't get mad if one of your friends makes you laugh more or is more entertaining to play video games with, but why sex? What's so taboo and horrible about sex with other people?

This has got me drawing blanks.
I once read that during sex females release a certain hormone within their own brains that cause them to feel bonded to their partner, but never read up on the validity of it. This feeling never really goes away, from what I understood. As far as I'm concerned, and I'm speaking for no general population because it's strictly experience based, video games are partial. Video games don't require full exposure. The sentimentality and the connection between me and whoever I choose to establish sexual relations with is something that is more precious than teaming up in Nazi Zombies, and I'm not too keen on exposing myself to whoever I think is attractive.
Maybe I'm a textbook example of a crazy girlfriend, but I get offended when my boyfriend watches porn even though I never deny him. (I would like to include that I'm no saint, but when I'm with someone I don't normally partake in things like that) I don't freak out on him or anything-I don't really say anything at all, I understand that to an extent it's normal, but I think it takes something that should be special between two people and it makes it a spectacle. I find it desensitizing. And I think it takes an aspect of the connection away.


To put it bluntly, I don't find sex with someone uninvolved. I find that it does an incredible job of changing the chemistry between two people, and it's hard to fight the emotional attachment that usually accompanies things like this.

I have to be fair though, I'm terribly inexperienced in the realm of "hit it and quit it". So there may be benefits to that that I'm unaware of.




*ramblerambleramble*

[Maeus]

My reason...

I've been with my girlfriend for three and a half years and we are getting a mortgage together very shortly.

I do it because I love this one girl explicitly, I obviously look at other women however the though of myself cheating on my girlfriend makes me feel physcially sick. I do not want to lose this girl and as such this is the main reason for exclusivitiy.

[Sweeney]

Sure they do. Why wouldn't they? Everything has proven to be pretty fucking predictable, especially when it comes to living beings. What makes you think humans are exempt? Humans are rational creatures, rationality is predictable by definition. They tend to have a pleasure principle that we're fairly familiar with and "social" drives in humans have also been studied at depth. Furthermore, we have ethnologists that find similarities and differences in human behaviour across cultures that allow us to discern the particular variables that factor in any of these behaviours. Yes, human beings are predictable and as science develops they are all the more predictable. No, it isn't "senseless" to ask questions about human beings and their actions. That's the first step in being able to quantify their actions.

Everything has been proven to be pretty fucking predictable?

Where, exactly? We can't reliably predict the weather, let alone human behaviour.

[luvsmyncis]

Where, exactly? We can't reliably predict the weather, let alone human behaviour.

*runs in, slaps Sweeney in the face, jumps out the window*

[NapisaurusRex]

I said that everything is THEORETICALLY quantifiable because we do not always have the PRACTICAL means to prove something, like theoretical astrofuckingphysics and other dimensions. Plenty of empirically verifiable arguments can be made about human behaviour.

Then why isn't love enough?

This has got me drawing blanks.
I once read that during sex females release a certain hormone within their own brains that cause them to feel bonded to their partner, but never read up on the validity of it

Oxytocin. I almost brought up sooner, but thought this conversation might go in a more interesting direction without it.

Anyway, I think I figured out the answer Kami's looking for:

• Men like sticking their dicks in things... animal, vegetable, fucking mineral, women... all the holes. (read Madame Bovary's Ovaries for a humorous literary perspective on this.)
  
• Women have oxytocin bursts during sex which makes them fall in love.
  
• Men like being alive.
  
• Women are crazy and in control of the kitchen knives.
  
• Men lie about having sex with multiple women.
  
• Women propagate the myth that sexual exclusivity exists.

Edit: deleted the wrong thing and added a 'fucking' for emphasis.

Edited by Napiform, 18 August 2012 - 06:35 PM.

[8143FF763271]

Then why isn't love enough?


Oxytocin. I almost brought up sooner, but thought this conversation might go in a more interesting direction without it.

Anyway, I think I figured out the answer Kami's looking for:

• Men like sticking their dicks in things... animal, vegetable, fucking mineral, women... all the holes. (read Madame Bovary's Ovaries for a humorous literary perspective on this.)
  
• Women have oxytocin bursts during sex which makes them fall in love.
  
• Men like being alive.
  
• Women are crazy and in control of the kitchen knives.
  
• Men lie about having sex with multiple women.
  
• Women propagate the myth that sexual exclusivity exists.

Edit: deleted the wrong thing and added a 'fucking' for emphasis.

Love isn't an explanation because it is culturally variable and not necessarily limited to monogamous pairs
other than that

[NapisaurusRex]

Love isn't an explanation because it is culturally variable and not necessarily limited to monogamous pairs
other than that

Well, guess I should've posted it three pages ago when I first realized. Save a lot of angst for some people.

Not trying to be obtuse or anything, but why are you posting threads like this when you already know what you want the conclusion to be? Is this some twisted way you have of trying to teach people?

[8143FF763271]

Well, guess I should've posted it three pages ago when I first realized. Save a lot of angst for some people.

Not trying to be obtuse or anything, but why are you posting threads like this when you already know what you want the conclusion to be? Is this some twisted way you have of trying to teach people?

Just applying the Socratic method (anyone actually familiar with Socrates knows that he just went around asking people carefully pre-constructed double-edged questions so they'd reach the same conclusions he had previously conceived on his own).

[NapisaurusRex]

Just applying the Socratic method (anyone actually familiar with Socrates knows that he just went around asking people carefully pre-constructed double-edged questions so they'd reach the same conclusions he had previously conceived on his own).

I'll go get the hemlock then.

[8143FF763271]

Also, tbh, I don't think your arguments were right. I just thought they were valid answers since they depended on observable phenomena and rational behaviour. I don't think men are threatened by women because they are in the kitchen or that oxytocin makes people fall in "love" (which would create a greater debate on whatever this means), but I think your explanations are sounder than the rest put forward so I gave them thumbs up, anyway.

I'll go get the hemlock then.

Edited by kami12, 19 August 2012 - 09:59 AM.

[Sweeney]

Of course, Socrates actually had an original thought once in a while...

[Mishelle]

Why is this thread still a thing

[Futurama]

If I'ma fuck a bitch, I'ma fuck a bitch.

[Sweeney]

If I'ma fuck a bitch, I'ma fuck a bitch.

I don't think he's talking about bestiality.

[Futurama]

I don't think he's talking about bestiality.

I wouldn't be surprised if he is though...