I met my girlfriend on World of Warcraft, and we talked online for about 4-5 months before meeting. We're still together now and see each other very often, even though we live in adjacent states (we plan to move in together very soon). Online relationships can work but they can't stay permanently online.
Online Relationships
Started by Evan, Dec 14 2005 02:28 PM
286 replies to this topic
#152
MisterDerp
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Posted 29 February 2012 - 11:10 AM
It doesn't look like I posted in this thread, but I thought I did earlier. Huh.
Online relationships can work out if you're planning to meet the person in-person rather than a long-distance relationship. Some people don't take the internet all that seriously so a relationship that's purely online wouldn't work out too well.
And for the love of God, don't look for a relationship on Craigslist - there are way too many types of people on there for me to consider it a viable alternative to other sites. Normally that wouldn't be a bad thing but after hearing about the Craigslist Prostitute Killer, I sure as hell wouldn't look for anything sex or dating-related on there.
Online relationships can work out if you're planning to meet the person in-person rather than a long-distance relationship. Some people don't take the internet all that seriously so a relationship that's purely online wouldn't work out too well.
And for the love of God, don't look for a relationship on Craigslist - there are way too many types of people on there for me to consider it a viable alternative to other sites. Normally that wouldn't be a bad thing but after hearing about the Craigslist Prostitute Killer, I sure as hell wouldn't look for anything sex or dating-related on there.
Edited by MisterDerp, 29 February 2012 - 11:17 AM.
#153
EveMazing
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 11:11 AM
I have been in a few online relationships in the past but with my experience I don't think they ever work out unless the relationship goes from online to the real world at some point. Now I find it extremely hard to even like a person that I can't physically see and touch in person. Online relationships are a good way to build a bond with someone but there has to be a point were it becomes more than that. And I don't just mean visiting each other once a month. It's very hard to have a serious relationship without the physical aspect of it. And I'm not just talking baout sex. Kissing, hugging, hand holding, physical consoling, etc. I think these are very important in a relationship and without them it's hard to keep it going.
#154
Dangocat
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 12:21 PM
Didn't want to post but there's some extreme silliness going on here.
Everyone who is saying "online relationships work but it can't stay permanently online, online relationships don't work unless you meet in person eventually"... I don't get this. Isn't that taken for granted? Unless an "online relationship" implies never meeting in person, even if you're with them for the rest of your life (assuming it works). I would assume an online relationship just means a long distance relationship. There are people saying that if you meet in person, it's not an "online relationship" anymore, but if you're not planning on ever meeting/being with someone, I guess it could be dating but it doesn't make sense to call it a relationship. Like Foxer said, being in love involves planning a future together.
And sure, when the infatuation wears off, maybe what you have left is a strong friendship. But you have a friend that you love for all their faults, and that you want to build a life together with. Whether you want to call it friendship or a relationship, I don't see why it would matter o__o.
I'm repeating what Sweeney said here, but if people think that online relationships don't work out because you don't have an accurate view of who the person you're talking to is, it's not that it didn'd work out because it was online. It didn't work, probably because it was a horrible match. If you think you like someone, then meet them and discover it's not what you hoped it to be, then maybe you just didn't find a compatible match. The same thing happens with offline relationships. If on the other hand, you think that you've absolutely found your soul mate, who is the perfect match for you, yet you still can't, or won't make it work due to distance...well, then it may be due to the online aspect, as something you absolutely can't deal with.
I've met people online and offline, and was disillusioned/repulsed by most after getting to know them. I used to be picky and refuse to date anyone unless I was friends with them for 1-3 years because I thought that's how long it takes to get to know someone, but that's besides the point. But you don't necessarily get to know someone faster or better offline than online, unless you're actually living with that person. I think I'm starting to go off on a tangent so I'm just going to stop.
Everyone who is saying "online relationships work but it can't stay permanently online, online relationships don't work unless you meet in person eventually"... I don't get this. Isn't that taken for granted? Unless an "online relationship" implies never meeting in person, even if you're with them for the rest of your life (assuming it works). I would assume an online relationship just means a long distance relationship. There are people saying that if you meet in person, it's not an "online relationship" anymore, but if you're not planning on ever meeting/being with someone, I guess it could be dating but it doesn't make sense to call it a relationship. Like Foxer said, being in love involves planning a future together.
And sure, when the infatuation wears off, maybe what you have left is a strong friendship. But you have a friend that you love for all their faults, and that you want to build a life together with. Whether you want to call it friendship or a relationship, I don't see why it would matter o__o.
I'm repeating what Sweeney said here, but if people think that online relationships don't work out because you don't have an accurate view of who the person you're talking to is, it's not that it didn'd work out because it was online. It didn't work, probably because it was a horrible match. If you think you like someone, then meet them and discover it's not what you hoped it to be, then maybe you just didn't find a compatible match. The same thing happens with offline relationships. If on the other hand, you think that you've absolutely found your soul mate, who is the perfect match for you, yet you still can't, or won't make it work due to distance...well, then it may be due to the online aspect, as something you absolutely can't deal with.
I've met people online and offline, and was disillusioned/repulsed by most after getting to know them. I used to be picky and refuse to date anyone unless I was friends with them for 1-3 years because I thought that's how long it takes to get to know someone, but that's besides the point. But you don't necessarily get to know someone faster or better offline than online, unless you're actually living with that person. I think I'm starting to go off on a tangent so I'm just going to stop.
#155
Harlow
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Posted 13 March 2012 - 12:39 PM
Depends on the people really. Some people can make do with that kind of thing, but I can't. I need to be able to touch, feel, smell, taste, and such with my partner. 
#156
ArticTheTiger
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Posted 14 March 2012 - 04:46 AM
My current relationship started when I was 15, she was 14, I am now 20. I moved over to the UK from the Netherlands 1.5 years ago.
We coped 3.5 years online, this march (25th) we celebrate our 5th anniversary of being boy and grilfriend.
It's about tenacity and willpower if you ask me. Yes, you WILL want to meet to get to know the other person intimately, but don't rush to get there, enjoy every moment of chatting with them, and when you meet and take the relationship into the real life, it'll feel right.
Also, if anyone ever has questions on this subject or needs to rant about their situation, hit me up with a PM. I've been there.
We coped 3.5 years online, this march (25th) we celebrate our 5th anniversary of being boy and grilfriend.
It's about tenacity and willpower if you ask me. Yes, you WILL want to meet to get to know the other person intimately, but don't rush to get there, enjoy every moment of chatting with them, and when you meet and take the relationship into the real life, it'll feel right.
Also, if anyone ever has questions on this subject or needs to rant about their situation, hit me up with a PM. I've been there.
#157
Boggart
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Professional Napper
Posted 14 March 2012 - 07:06 AM
My friend is an online relationship. They didn't mean to become a couple, but blah blah blah, she lives in Canada, he lives in London. They met up last month and it went well apparently. It's only been a few months, but they seem happy so I don't see why not. She plans to move to Europe sooner or later before they even met, so I don't see why they can't last.
She was in an online unofficial relationship before with someone in Ireland when they were both 16, but he was more realistic in the sense that he didn't expect her to uproot her life for him. Thus, he saw other people. She didn't feel the same way and broke her heart as it were. He said that if they lived in the same city, country, continent even, he would wait. But they didn't and he didn't expect them both to wait 3+ years to meet up.
Both are rather different outcomes. Just know what you're getting into before you start and don't expect too much is all I can say.
She was in an online unofficial relationship before with someone in Ireland when they were both 16, but he was more realistic in the sense that he didn't expect her to uproot her life for him. Thus, he saw other people. She didn't feel the same way and broke her heart as it were. He said that if they lived in the same city, country, continent even, he would wait. But they didn't and he didn't expect them both to wait 3+ years to meet up.
Both are rather different outcomes. Just know what you're getting into before you start and don't expect too much is all I can say.
#158
namida
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Posted 17 March 2012 - 10:25 AM
my geeky boyfriend found his friends via some forum/games...they have met real life and often get drunk in clubs or bbqs
#159
Gibby2
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Posted 21 March 2012 - 09:22 PM
My stepparents actually got together online. And they've been together for a good 10 yrs. But I feel as though that kind of thing is rare. They are quite similar.
#160
Maggiemouse
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Posted 22 March 2012 - 07:57 AM
It wouldn't work for me. I like closeness in a relationship, and you can't get that over the internet.
#161
Gibby2
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Posted 22 March 2012 - 04:01 PM
True, true. I've known people who have struggled through an ~1 year relationship without even seeing each other. It seems.. uunnatural.
#162
Randi
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Posted 23 March 2012 - 03:50 PM
Hit or miss. Most of them from my experience don't work and are a waste of time. Perfect opportunity to tell a lot of lies without anyone knowing about it. However.. My best friend has been with the same guy for 6-7 years which started as an online relationship. She lives in Canada and he lives in Holland.. She is moving there with him next month now. They seem extremely happy. He's been here several times, met her family.. Stayed here for weeks at a time.. And she skypes and whatnot with his family.
#163
zrisso
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Posted 02 April 2012 - 01:44 PM
My fiancé and I actually met on a forum for gaymers. He lived in Alabama while I lived in Maryland. He flew up here for a few weeks, and then I flew down there for two trips, and then we moved in together (in Maryland, certainly not in the Deep South XD).
We've lived together for a year and a half, and plan to get married after I graduate, before he goes into law school.
We've lived together for a year and a half, and plan to get married after I graduate, before he goes into law school.
#168
trizzle
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Deceptive Minx
Posted 04 April 2012 - 01:40 PM
One of my close friends and her boyfriend met online, on an ipod app. They got to know each other then spent two years speaking on skype and msn and hotmail and ringing each other.
They met up for the first time ever around christmas last year and are in love. He's moving over here from america. So, I guess online relationships can blossom into something real and permanent. I was so unsure about him until I met him but he is a lovely guy and I'm very happy for them.
They met up for the first time ever around christmas last year and are in love. He's moving over here from america. So, I guess online relationships can blossom into something real and permanent. I was so unsure about him until I met him but he is a lovely guy and I'm very happy for them.
#169
OriginalFake
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Posted 06 April 2012 - 11:40 AM
From personal experience, I would say it's one of the most unprodutive type of relationship you could choose. Paranoia/trust issues and stupid fights are all you will honestly get.
#170
lonewolf
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Posted 11 April 2012 - 09:53 PM
I met my girlfriend on World of Warcraft, and we talked online for about 4-5 months before meeting. We're still together now and see each other very often, even though we live in adjacent states (we plan to move in together very soon). Online relationships can work but they can't stay permanently online.
hahaha so lucky... i have yet to see a girl on WoW, maybe its cus i dont play enough >,< but yeah, i totally agree that the trelationship cant stay online forever, and its great that you guys are going to move in together. Hope it works out for you!
#171
Bazzel
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Posted 12 April 2012 - 04:32 AM
Yea i believe they can.
But you have to be extremely careful!
Im actually going through a custody battle at the moment, because my ex decided that some stranger who he met online 9 days before, meant more than the kids, To cut it short... The police told him she is not mentally stable and could not be involved with her around children, so he had a choice and he choose.
So yea, They can work but just be careful, Anyone can say their someone their not
But you have to be extremely careful!
Im actually going through a custody battle at the moment, because my ex decided that some stranger who he met online 9 days before, meant more than the kids, To cut it short... The police told him she is not mentally stable and could not be involved with her around children, so he had a choice and he choose.
So yea, They can work but just be careful, Anyone can say their someone their not
#172
ddown
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Posted 12 April 2012 - 05:25 PM
Yeah, I agree with most of what's been said in this thread. You have to be careful I suppose, but I've made some great friends online. I do think there comes a point where, if you don't meet in real life, things can get a bit awkward though.
#173
STP
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Posted 15 April 2012 - 05:41 PM
To answer you question of good or bad, I'd say bad. I feel as if a relationship should have the emotional as well as the physical aspect or else it has a greater chance to lead to disaster.
#174
verse
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Posted 24 April 2012 - 02:08 PM
I'm sure they can work, but in my experience they haven't.
I'm a shy person, and it's too easy for me to chat online. I've found a disconnect between chemistry through written word, and chemistry in person. It can be awkward.
I'm a shy person, and it's too easy for me to chat online. I've found a disconnect between chemistry through written word, and chemistry in person. It can be awkward.
#175
dratini
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Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:42 PM
I know this thread is old but I read some of the responses and just had to pop in and reply..
I don't believe they work for extended periods of time if they are purely online relationships with no real life interaction whatsoever. I, however, am living proof that online relationships do work and can develop into something more.
I met my current partner online almost four years ago - she's Australian, I'm a New Zealander. We clicked immediately and 'dated' online for a few months before things went downhill. We kept some form of contact over the years and every so often one of us would snap and send the other a lovelorn confession about how much we missed them and how it never should have been like this but then things would continue as usual and we'd live our separate lives until it happened again. We never stopped stalking each other's posts on forums/blogs or Facebooks, though ;p
It was when my current partner got into two relationships over the course of 2010 that I realized how jealous I was and how stupid it was to let someone like her go. I sent her a huge outpouring of my feelings and everything was touch and go for a while. Things crumbled for a couple of weeks early last year due to some minor issues but we started talking about 'us' in a serious manner in late May, started our relationship in July, and met for the first time in November. She was with me for two weeks and all but a few days later we had decided we needed to be together permanently. She booked plane tickets to move here mid-December and later changed them so she could come back even earlier than originally planned. We've now been living together for 9 months and have been together for 15 months, and still have the same powerful, all-encompassing chemistry we did when we first met. It's the most incredible and fulfilling relationship I've ever been in, and I don't plan on letting it go. Ever.
Really, though.. who's to say your soulmate is located anywhere near you? With 6 billion people in the world, your chances are pretty slim. Why not expand your chances of finding them and just let things pass as they must?
tl;dr: cool love story bro
I don't believe they work for extended periods of time if they are purely online relationships with no real life interaction whatsoever. I, however, am living proof that online relationships do work and can develop into something more.
I met my current partner online almost four years ago - she's Australian, I'm a New Zealander. We clicked immediately and 'dated' online for a few months before things went downhill. We kept some form of contact over the years and every so often one of us would snap and send the other a lovelorn confession about how much we missed them and how it never should have been like this but then things would continue as usual and we'd live our separate lives until it happened again. We never stopped stalking each other's posts on forums/blogs or Facebooks, though ;p
It was when my current partner got into two relationships over the course of 2010 that I realized how jealous I was and how stupid it was to let someone like her go. I sent her a huge outpouring of my feelings and everything was touch and go for a while. Things crumbled for a couple of weeks early last year due to some minor issues but we started talking about 'us' in a serious manner in late May, started our relationship in July, and met for the first time in November. She was with me for two weeks and all but a few days later we had decided we needed to be together permanently. She booked plane tickets to move here mid-December and later changed them so she could come back even earlier than originally planned. We've now been living together for 9 months and have been together for 15 months, and still have the same powerful, all-encompassing chemistry we did when we first met. It's the most incredible and fulfilling relationship I've ever been in, and I don't plan on letting it go. Ever.
Really, though.. who's to say your soulmate is located anywhere near you? With 6 billion people in the world, your chances are pretty slim. Why not expand your chances of finding them and just let things pass as they must?
tl;dr: cool love story bro
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