Hells Kitchen

I remember about a year before I left my restaurant job, I had a customer literately come in 20 minutes before closing and begged us to let him sit down to eat quickly. A server comes into the kitchen and asks if I would make him ____ and he would be eternally grateful. We had already started shutting down for the night, but I made an exception.

So, I had my cooks continue to break down the kitchen for clean up as I made his medium-rare steak with salsa verde, which was accompanied by sauteed potatoes, carrots and parsnips. I plated and put the dish up in the window. Then went to go help out my staff with the clean up and start inventory. Suddenly a server asks if I had a moment. "Oh boy" I thought, I hope there wasn't any issue with the food. I walked out onto the floor and said hello, as he greeted me back and continued to look past me into the kitchen. I stood there for a moment, then asked if there was something I could help him with. The customer replied, "Yes, I'm waiting on the Chef so I can thank him for this lovely meal." I stood there in front of him with my black chef's coat. It had the restaurants name, my name and title of Executive Chef beneath it. I smiled and said, "Yes, that would be me." Well, his face changed as if someone was playing some sort of prank on him and he looked me up and down quickly. Instead of apologizing he says, "I thought you were a guy, since only men can cook steaks that good. You did a great job by the way, the wife will be so surprised when she finds out your a woman. Maybe you can come teach the wife a few things." I was visibly annoyed as he stood up and pat me shoulder like some 4 year old kid. The server who had quietly watched from the edge of the kitchen (its open concept), quickly walked over and snatched the tip up from the table. He walked right over to the customer who was just about to leave and held the door open for him. Just as he stepped out, Zach says to the customer, "You forgot this, goodbye." Then placed the tip back in the mans hand and closed the door.
I just shook my head and Zach came over to me. "I cannot believe that guy, I'm so sorry about that." I told Zach it was okay and that he should have kept the tip. But, he refused and said he'd never take money from some rude asshole. I tried to smile, feeling somewhat bothered by the customers reaction. I think at that point, I was so numb to stuff like that.

Well Karma would so have it that he came in to make reservations two nights later and my servers remembered him. Guess who was on the permaban list.

I remember my first class in college, I was 16 and the youngest student at the time to be enrolled in the Culinary Arts program. Even at that age, I had noticed how male dominated the field was. I was fine with that, at the time I identified as gay and felt I could be one of the "boys". I wasn't alone either, most of the female students (4 out of 6) were also gay. Except, I wasn't butch or could pull off the more manly look like the other girls (If you're a female Chef, a good amount of them are gay and have to act macho). You see, I had just returned from going to school in the states for a year to finish up High School and hated it. Manhattan New York was a horrible place and no amount of money could cover up the fact that most of those folks (in my school) were homophobic, rude and very opinionated. I had nearly been raped by a group of boys in my school, because they felt they could help me "switch sides" and chased me into a corner in the stairway. Had the security guard not done rounds at that very moment, I would have been raped. So, you could imagine my relief to be back in Canada. Perhaps because of my recent experiences, the veil of innocence had been lifted and I suddenly became more aware. I was the only person of mixed-race in my class, everyone else was Caucasian or Asian. I felt like I fit in since my Dad is White and my Mom is Blasian. Yet I grew up in a very Asian household since that is how my Mother was raised and my Dad pretty much adopted the culture. People stared at me constantly and I tried not to notice, I thought maybe something was on my face and would constantly be excused to the washroom to check. I just couldn't figure it out. Finally, I was put into groups for some class activity and everyone introduced themselves. The first question I got after exchanging names was, "What are you?". I looked at them confused and replied that I was Canadian. One of the guys asked again, "No like were are you from?" and I responded about what area of Toronto I was from and they laughed. Then the guy clarified, "No, not that. Where is your parents from?" I stood there for a moment, not really sure why any of that was important. With a frown I responded, "Does it matter?" and they didn't speak to me much after that. I went home feeling really odd, no one had ever asked me that before. I looked at myself in the mirror for a long time, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. As my classmates become more comfortable in the class, that is when the jokes started. These are some examples I heard during class being thrown around from the teacher and fellow classmates.

"Why don't you do home and cry"
"Go write that in your diary"
"Go PMS somewhere else"
"I thought all women knew how to cook?"

I saw guys make sexual gestures with food, like humping whole chickens or mock fisting/fingering. But, if a female did the same thing....we'd get called out and shamed. It was then I realized that the professional kitchen was very much a boys club. Whenever I told anyone that I was enrolled in the Culinary program, people always assumed I was learning pastries. Because, all female Chefs are only good at baking apparently and its seen as more feminine. This is why many female Chefs choose to go into private catering or teach.

In my 12 years of professionally working in the kitchen, I've been groped and flashed on numerous occasions. If I literately don't act like the female version of Gordon Ramsay (basically being an asshole), you get ZERO respect as a female Executive Chef. Some other stuff I witness over the years: If you're Indian, people assume you're there to clean the dishes. Black, they watch you for stealing or assume you have a bad attitude. Gay male, you get shunned...unless your a server. Female, you must be a Pastry Chef or bakers assistant. Sadly, the culinary world is like that almost everywhere.

Needless to day, my sexual orientation hasn't really changed. I still love women, I just didn't marry one. But, I could have easily married a man or woman with no issue. But, I do get a bit of grief for being a married woman who is also a Chef. I get ask why I'm not home being a proper wife, instead of pulling 18hr days in a hot kitchen. After a while, I asked myself the same thing. Why am I in a kitchen with bratty little 20 somethings who still don't how to chiffonade or poach an egg, but had so much to say. Eventually, I peace'd out and opened up my own business so I could manage my own hours and spend more time with my family. I've never been happier. So, for anyone reading this and thinks about being a female Chef, don't get discouraged. The times have changed since I went to Culinary school and with Chefs like Helena Rizzo and Kristen Kish paving the way. We're shutting that boys club down.

I've had the pleasure of dealing with these types, claiming to have an allergy to everything from dairy, gluten and only want to eat the purest of ingredients because its good for their aura. Yet, they have absolutely no damn clue what any of that stuff actually is. Everyone I meet now has a gluten allergy, because its the new 'thing' now. *eyeroll*

So, I meet up with some friends to go out for Sushi and one of them brings the girlfriend unit. She starts going on about how much she loves sushi....then proceeds to talk about California rolls and other fusion type rolls that is so far from actual sushi, I cringe. Don't get me wrong, I love a good fusion roll, but its not actual sushi. She start talking about the health benefits of sushi and how great Japanese girls look because of this 'diet'. I chimed, "Yeah the raw fish variety, with the seaweed and rice does make for a good diet. But, its also accompanied by a lot of tea, soup/stews, more rice and greens." She then looks at me and says, "Hai." (yes in Japanese) and so, I hold my tongue, I want this to be a nice evening out. Smugly she enters the restaurant, bows and says, "Konnichiwa." Like she's trying to impress someone with her "Japanese" skills. Little did she know, the owners were Chinese and it was pretty darn easy to tell (most Asians can tell other types of Asians fairly easy, since we hate being mistaken for other types of Asians). They look at her like an idiot and mutter a few stuff in Cantonese, then sit us down. Before we can order drinks, this girl starts telling the waitress that she has a very serious gluten allergy. After the waitress left to fetch our orders, I asked if she had Celiac disease and she looked at me funny. So, I explained what it was and she said no, it was just a gluten-allergy. I just blinked at her and sighed. The food comes and what does she do? Bathe her roll in soy sauce and eats it up. I told her she shouldn't eat the soy sauce because most of it is made with gluten. Her response...."I've been cooking and eating soy sauce my entire life. Soy is not bread which I'm allergic too, its just soybeans. I would know if soy sauce had gluten in it or not, I'm very careful with my allergy."

I ask the waitress for the bottle of soy for the table casually and look over the label.Bingo, I pick out the wheat protein part out of the list of ingredients and show her. She doesn't say anything for a while and then claims to have stomach pains and needs to go to the bathroom. Then we all look to my friend as she leaves, giving him the "Look" and he hangs his head in shame. When she gets back, she starts saying how she was feeling funny while eating and didn't know why. I asked if her doctor had informed her properly about the foods to avoid for her condition and in true hipster fashion. "Oh, I was never diagnosed by my doctor, I just knew and I told my yoga teacher about my issues and she told me I had a gluten allergy."

For some sick and twisted reason, my friends LOVE to take me to restaurants. I know, sounds awesome right? That experience isn't always as fun when you're culinary trained. I know when meat is bad or just about to go bad, no amount of breading/deep-frying and seasoning can cover up that texture. Yet, most people are painfully oblivious to that fact (which is kinda a good thing, cause a lot of times the meat served is often kept too long, most common seen in Chinese food places). I know when someone is using powdered garlic and onion instead of the real thing etc. I can literately break down a dishes ingredients and its freshness within two mouth fulls. The killer for me is FROZEN food, being sold as "fresh"....ARRRRGG!!! So, this is why I typically dread going out to eat. I hate to complain, but if something is bullshit - I'm gonna call it out as bullshit, especially if you're paying good money for it.

I went to an "real Italian restaurant" with some friends. Apparently it was all the craze and they wanted me to give it a try with them as first time customers. I looked around the place, glanced to the tables and Italian spice blend in a jar along with salt & rice shakers, my spider senses started to tingle. I looked over the menu, it was a bit long and I picked something basic. Fresh pasta takes 1-3 minutes to cook, box pasta take 8-15 minutes. A dish shouldn't take more than 15 minutes tops, tack on a few extra minutes if the restaurant is busy and if you're with several friends. Everything in the restaurant is prepped already to make service faster and smoother. So the tomato base would have been made fresh that day (everyday), everything is weighed into portion sizes like fresh pasta, meats, seafood and set that side for cooking/assembly later.

I looked around me and eyeing the plates going by. Yep its definitely box pasta. Mentally I'm pulling my hair out as I wait 45 min for a pasta dish (that shouldn't take that long to make) and took the first bite. Nope. The pasta had been cooked in large batches, set aside and re-submerged in hot water for 1-2 min to heat it back up. Kinda crazy I could tell all of this just by tasting it and they had the nerve to charge $17 for a classic tomato spaghetti. I looked to my friends, who had dishes ranging from $22-$28 dollars and I gave them the honest goods. I said, "Hey, if you like it, no issue. I'm not going to have someone pass this off as fresh pasta. I can happily wait until your done to voice my opinions on my meal." But, they urged me to call the waitress over and say something about all our food.

I called over the waitress and I quietly explained we'd hope for a more pleasurable experience, but the pasta was not fresh, the chicken was rubbery/previously frozen, the shrimps tasted frozen and dried herbs was giving the pasta a bitter taste, as they'd gone stale. You should have seen the girls face, she was speechless. Then she collected the plates without a word or apology and scrambled back into the kitchen. It took her 10 minutes to come back out with the manager who wanted to me re-explain the situation. He said, there was no way this was the issue that everything was "fresh". I politely replied, "Life if funny sometimes. It just so happens that I'm a classically trained Chef, I specialized in Italian and French cuisine. Boxed pasta is made from semolina flour and water, mixed into a paste and pushed through molds before being dried for several days until all moisturize is gone. Because its so dense, you use it for soups and casseroles since its firm structure can hold up in other ingredients. Fresh pasta is lighter, made with high-gluten flour and eggs. This you eat with delicate/simple sauces. What you served me was absolutely not fresh pasta". The floor manager looked at me for a second, red faced with embarrassment and told me he never claimed the pasta was fresh. I started to laugh at his back tracking. "You just said everything was fresh and don't get me started on the previously frozen meat and seafood. You attempted to lie to your customers, instead of being honest. We're done here, we have zero interest in ordering anything else from you at this time."

His tried to threatened us, saying if we left without paying for the meal we barely touched and sent back. He'd call the cops. I told him, please do so. I'll wait and can explain the situation of false advertisement and lying to customers. You try to pass yourselves off as a fine-dining restaurant making fresh and traditional Italian dishes. Zero of that is true. We did not enjoy our meals, we're not paying half, we're not paying anything. He thought about it and said whatever and left. I remained calm the entire time and spoke in my usual gentle voice so I would not interrupt other patrons. We got up and left. Later we went to this little Mexican food place, nothing fancy about it and enjoyed some delicious fish tacos. I really love little hole-in-the-wall places, they usually have the best food.

I sometimes think my friends do this on purpose, cause it brings them amusement. I actually rarely mention my culinary background myself, I feel like such a damn hipster if I do. But, my friends typically pipe in with a, "Dude, she's a Chef. She knows what she's talking about."

One time I over heard the Chef tell the server if I can do better, let me try. So naturally, I did just that. It was pretty fun. I also had one Chef tell me that female Chef's are not better than male Chef's, that is why they're more male Chef's out there. I responded, "Because female Chefs apply to the quality over quantity rule."
#shotsfired