A woman can ask all she wants, but if her space has any sort of slime or tentacle in there, I'm not giving mine to her.
Someone's been watching a bit too much hentai.
Friends with benefits
Started by Mishelle, Jul 02 2012 09:37 PM
137 replies to this topic
#76
Bone
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no
Posted 04 July 2012 - 08:58 AM
Someone's been watching a bit too much hentai.
#77 Guest_coltom_*
Guest_coltom_*
Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:01 AM
A woman can ask all she wants, but if her space has any sort of slime or tentacle in there, I'm not giving mine to her.
Ah, a case of vagina dentata phobia if I ever heard one.
http://en.wikipedia..../Vagina_dentata
Edited by coltom, 04 July 2012 - 09:02 AM.
#78
Elindoril
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Weeaboo Trash
Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:04 AM
Someone's been watching a bit too much hentai.
Ah, that ol' weak stereotype.
Ah, a case of vagina dentata phobia if I ever heard one.
http://en.wikipedia..../Vagina_dentata
No, if it literally has a tentacle coming out, waiting to eat my "yargis" for sustenance, I'm not giving it to her no matter how politely she asks.
#79
Waser Lave
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:06 AM
Men have a yargis, women don't. Although most men are willing to loan their's to any woman that asks politely.
Oh dear, what could I be talking about Electric drills, power washers, floor sanders? The world, may never know.
Given that you claimed that "the yargis is that thing that is just shy of a foot long, and a yakingis is infinitely deep" it seems pretty unlikely that you were referring to what you claim you were unless you have a distinct misunderstanding of the characteristics of those things in real life. Unless, of course, you were being deliberately misleading for some mysterious reason I can't comprehend.
#80 Guest_coltom_*
Guest_coltom_*
Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:11 AM
So the King, knowing the Queen to be a free and talent spirit of the Earth, before heading off to the crusades had the Wizard construct the most ingenious Chasity belt. While appearing to give free access to the treasure beneath, at the most cruelest of times a small spring would trip and a guillotine blade would, shall we say belatedly protect the Queens virtue.
Returning two years later, the King summoned all of his knights, and conducted, well, conducted an inspection of their knighthood. Sadly, almost to a man everyone had obviously attempted to take a sample of the most delicious treasure of the Kingdom.
All that is, except for brave Sire Lancelot, virtuous Sir Lancelot still flew his banner most proudly, and unscathed by the Wizard's cruel toy.
Oh, said the King, "My friend you are the truest of the knights, the most pure, speak man, and I will reward you with any boon or prize the kingdom may offer"
Alas, poor Lancelot, being offered what ever treasure the Kingdom could offer, was unable to speak, having lost his tongue some years previously.
Returning two years later, the King summoned all of his knights, and conducted, well, conducted an inspection of their knighthood. Sadly, almost to a man everyone had obviously attempted to take a sample of the most delicious treasure of the Kingdom.
All that is, except for brave Sire Lancelot, virtuous Sir Lancelot still flew his banner most proudly, and unscathed by the Wizard's cruel toy.
Oh, said the King, "My friend you are the truest of the knights, the most pure, speak man, and I will reward you with any boon or prize the kingdom may offer"
Alas, poor Lancelot, being offered what ever treasure the Kingdom could offer, was unable to speak, having lost his tongue some years previously.
#81
Bone
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:12 AM
Ah, that ol' weak stereotype.
I'm struggling to think of any situations outside of hentai in which a tentacle would be coming out of a vagina.
#82
Waser Lave
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:15 AM
In 8 years being registered here I have accumulated a total of 11 members on my ignore list, I now have 12.
#83 Guest_coltom_*
Guest_coltom_*
Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:31 AM
Sorry Waser, not everyone likes my jokes. Romantic images about the deep infinite mystery that lies inside a woman, I am neither the first to sing of mi'ladies mystery nor do I suppose I will be the last.
I'm sorry I've offended you, you seem to be a generally decent person.
OK, medical joke.
The professor noticed the class distracted after the weekend basketball tournie games. So he placed his focus on one particularly distracted co-ed.
"Miss Adams, I assume you've read this weekends assignment, please tell the class what human organ can expand when excited to eight times it normal size".
Miss Adams panics, studders, blushes, the professor cuts her off.
"Miss Adams, I can determine two things from your slow answer.
The first is you did not read the homework assignment, the pupil is the human organ that can expand to that degree with excitement.
The second is, marriage is going to be a terrible disappointment for you.
I'm sorry I've offended you, you seem to be a generally decent person.
OK, medical joke.
The professor noticed the class distracted after the weekend basketball tournie games. So he placed his focus on one particularly distracted co-ed.
"Miss Adams, I assume you've read this weekends assignment, please tell the class what human organ can expand when excited to eight times it normal size".
Miss Adams panics, studders, blushes, the professor cuts her off.
"Miss Adams, I can determine two things from your slow answer.
The first is you did not read the homework assignment, the pupil is the human organ that can expand to that degree with excitement.
The second is, marriage is going to be a terrible disappointment for you.
#84
Elindoril
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Weeaboo Trash
Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:33 AM
I'm struggling to think of any situations outside of hentai in which a tentacle would be coming out of a vagina.
The tentacles don't even come out of vaginas in Hentai, they are inserted by an outside source.
The only example I know of it happening was in Drawn Together.
#85
Bone
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no
Posted 04 July 2012 - 09:58 AM
The tentacles don't even come out of vaginas in Hentai, they are inserted by an outside source.
The only example I know of it happening was in Drawn Together.
Sorry. I don't pay attention to the details when it comes to tentacles and vaginas.
#86
Turnip
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woomy woomy manmenmi!!
Posted 04 July 2012 - 10:13 AM
What is even happening in this thread??
#87
Sweeney
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 10:14 AM
Sorry. I don't pay attention to the details when it comes to tentacles and vaginas.
You should. It could save your life one day.
What is even happening in this thread??
Everything.
#88 Guest_coltom_*
Guest_coltom_*
Posted 04 July 2012 - 10:27 AM
What is even happening in this thread??
It started with a discussion of amotional intercourse, delved into male castration, I told some bad jokes, Waser didn't like my jokes and put me on ignore, then someone had to get into really strange fear of the female unknown. We also learned I have large feet. I didn't mention that, I don't get to walk anywhere, any more, and I just sadly remember the walks I had in the bygone days.
Seems like pretty standard stuff.
#89
Kyle
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Legit.
Posted 04 July 2012 - 10:50 AM
I lol'd. You're seriously my favorite Codex member. (no homo) (ok some homo)You should. It could save your life one day.
Everything.
#90
redlion
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I don't exist!
Posted 04 July 2012 - 11:54 AM
Oh no. No no no. Your definitions are absolutely bonkers.So, my beloved has pulled a shotgun on me. The opposite of love isn't hate. Hate and Love are so close together. Hate is when someone you love fails you, does not reach that place you want them to be. The opposite of love is indifference.
It is of course possible to hate someone and love them as well, but that would imply volatility, not sameness. If hate and love exist on a continuum (a spectrum) with hate at one end and love at another, you're simply oscillating between the two extremes.
Hate and love are opposites.
Indifference is the opposite of interest.
The only thing saving you from being a complete twat is Quine's indeterminacy of translation but even then, you're still not communicating well.
Spoiler
Two things. First, perhaps each and every person here has a dick bigger than yours. It's entirely possible, and it would explain why no one cares that you exaggerate the size of your own.Really people. I'm beginning to think I'm not dealing with people with a lot of experience. You let me get away with "just shy of a foot", really! I mean, I do have a size 10.5 EEE shoe, but really, just shy of a foot.
Second, while many of us do from time to time correct inaccuracies, fallacies, and other errors that we find on the boards, assuming that we're all focused on you is kind of egotistical, innit? You didn't get away with anything; we've simply ignored your posts.
#91
Sweeney
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 11:57 AM
Second, while many of us do from time to time correct inaccuracies, fallacies, and other errors that we find on the boards, assuming that we're all focused on you is kind of egotistical, innit? You didn't get away with anything; we've simply ignored your posts.
It was clearly a ploy to be able to intimate that the corrector, if male, had an inferior penis.
#92 Guest_coltom_*
Guest_coltom_*
Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:07 PM
Oh no. No no no. Your definitions are absolutely bonkers.
It is of course possible to hate someone and love them as well, but that would imply volatility, not sameness. If hate and love exist on a continuum (a spectrum) with hate at one end and love at another, you're simply oscillating between the two extremes.
Hate and love are opposites.
Indifference is the opposite of interest.
The only thing saving you from being a complete twat is Quine's indeterminacy of translation but even then, you're still not communicating well.Spoiler
Two things. First, perhaps each and every person here has a dick bigger than yours. It's entirely possible, and it would explain why no one cares that you exaggerate the size of your own.
Second, while many of us do from time to time correct inaccuracies, fallacies, and other errors that we find on the boards, assuming that we're all focused on you is kind of egotistical, innit? You didn't get away with anything; we've simply ignored your posts.
Your error is a very basic one, you attempt to assign a single variable to a symbolic context. You wish to assign a symbolic scale of love and hate, with love wishing to associate with a person and hate being the complete avoidance. You miss the fact that words have multivariate assignments to their meaning. Love is not simply an extension of like, no love is the indication of not simply emotional favor, but has the unique emotional intensity of feeling that no other emotion has. Love, is its own reason for an action, Love is over powering. So, if we try to use single variable opposites, you can just as easily say the "opposite" of love is hate. Not completely accurate, but I was going for poetic.
However, and I'll not stress this strongly enough, I'm not speaking only in linguistically analysis. No I am going for the truth of life, that only a person that you love, can bring forth a particular intense hatred that will destroy your soul. Don't tell me they're the opposites, the flow from one to another by a single act of betrayal,
And son, if we have to whippem out and measure, remember been in more sweat lodges and military physicals than you, not to mention other mention my background in bio-medical engineering Personally, there are very few men that can put their best food forward, and I am not one of those men.
Edited by coltom, 04 July 2012 - 12:10 PM.
#93
Sweeney
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:09 PM
And son, if we have to whippem out and measure, remember been in more sweat lodges and military physicals than you, not to mention other mention my background in bio-medical engineering Personally, there are very few men that can put their best food forward, and I am not one of those men.
See?
#94
Mishelle
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Bitch Of The Boards
Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:11 PM
Can we not turn my wonderful thread into a dick waving contest?
#95
Sweeney
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:13 PM
Can we not turn my wonderful thread into a dick waving contest?
Oh, be fair. That was fucking hilarious.
#96
trizzle
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Deceptive Minx
Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:14 PM
Can we not turn my wonderful thread into a dick waving contest?
You didn't find it entertaining?
It's like watching animalplanet xD
Edited by trizzle, 04 July 2012 - 12:14 PM.
#97
instorb
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:19 PM
I tried but it quickly turns into a relationship, right now I am contemplating this type of a situation with my buddy's girlfriend. ALthough she keeps saying she's gonna break up with him I'm trying not to get involved until that happens, but it's hard when she calls me late nights and early mornings speaking in such an explicit manner.... I think it's great if it goes to being just friends with benefits but its harder said than done...
#98 Guest_coltom_*
Guest_coltom_*
Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:38 PM
Sorry, I just wanted to make a silly exaggeration as a pleasant little joke.Can we not turn my wonderful thread into a dick waving contest?
Ya, like watching strutting turkeys fight. Its entertaining and silly at the same time. After its all over, the hens could care less.You didn't find it entertaining?
#99
Mishelle
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Bitch Of The Boards
Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:39 PM
I tried but it quickly turns into a relationship, right now I am contemplating this type of a situation with my buddy's girlfriend. ALthough she keeps saying she's gonna break up with him I'm trying not to get involved until that happens, but it's hard when she calls me late nights and early mornings speaking in such an explicit manner.... I think it's great if it goes to being just friends with benefits but its harder said than done...
Wait until she breaks up with him because if she doesn't you could very well end up with a broken nose when she ~confesses her sins to him because she wants to make it work and she loves him so much*~*~*~
#100
kidbit
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Posted 04 July 2012 - 12:46 PM
I did it once, and he also happened to be my first time with a guy. Lasted for 2 months only and we didn't really have any rules, except that I tend to be really jealous so secretly I was wishing we wasn't seeing anyone else.
Problem is we studied in the same school and saw each other every day, so he started to get really attached and give me kisses in public or try to hold hands every once in a while, which I hated. So I broke up because I didn't want it to become anything serious, but to this date we're still friends.
Problem is we studied in the same school and saw each other every day, so he started to get really attached and give me kisses in public or try to hold hands every once in a while, which I hated. So I broke up because I didn't want it to become anything serious, but to this date we're still friends.
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